support/visitation

[venus72]

What is the name of your state? NJ If the Non-custodial parent has not been paying child support and there is a court order for it, and there is also a visitation order. Can i stop visitation because the non-custodial parent is not paying the support? If i do stop visitation, will i be in contemp of court, because there is a visitation order?? Thank you for any replys!!

 

[I AM ALWAYS LIABLE]

What is the name of your state? NJ If the Non-custodial parent has not been paying child support and there is a court order for it, and there is also a visitation order. Can i stop visitation because the non-custodial parent is not paying the support? If i do stop visitation, will i be in contemp of court, because there is a visitation order?? Thank you for any replys!!

My response:

No, and yes - - in the order of your questions. Paying support has nothing to do with visitation under the law. If you deny visitation, you'll be in just as much trouble as he is.

IAAL

 

[tigger22472]

support and visitation are separate issues so YES if you stop visitation due to non payment you are in contempt of court.

 

[I AM ALWAYS LIABLE]

My response:

Here's what we're also saying - - you don't "use" your child as a "pawn". You go to court instead.

IAAL

 

[venus72]

thank you!!!i would never use my child as a pawn. i just had to prove to my mom that if he doesn't pay support , it doesn't give me the right to deny him visitation that it is up to the courts and that i would be in just as much trouble for not complying with a court order. Thanks Again!!!!

 

[tigger22472]

thank you!!!i would never use my child as a pawn. i just had to prove to my mom that if he doesn't pay support , it doesn't give me the right to deny him visitation that it is up to the courts and that i would be in just as much trouble for not complying with a court order. Thanks Again!!!!

HA HA HA.. one of those!! I got one of those mothers too that think you can just do whatever you want and wave a magic wand and everything goes your way. Until you live it, breathe it and research it, it's ok to live in that fantasy world.

So, my question to you would be, how far behind is he? Your steps are to file contempt charges on him for non payment... but then again if it's just a small amount it's always best to try working with them first, we all hit bumps in life.

 

[venus72]

My mom doesn't understand all this legal stuff. But she thinks if he doesn't pay he shouldn't get to see his child which is wrong. He is $4,876 behind which is alot but his ex also hit him with a car so he is involved in a big law suit with her insurance co. and he has been out of work. my mom just doesn't understand anything about courts and orders.

 

[tigger22472]

Neither does mine.. trust me...

Mine is over 23,000$ behind. If he were to show up at my door on a Friday night asking for visitation... LEGALLY I would have to let him have it(since this IS a legal site I won't tell you what I'd really do ) but you can't tell my mom that.

Now, here's another question for you. How is he supposed to pay child support? Is it through the CSE department? Different states and even counties sometimes have different rules. The county I LIVE in puts someone in jail when they are 5,000$ on work release(too bad my court order isn't here). I agree that your ex is far behind but there are questions you need to ask yourself. Can you live without it at the moment? Do the two of you get along? Do you trust that if he wins this lawsuit that he would make an effort to get caught up? Do you think he's giving it an effort to find a job? I know in my county we have the second highest unemployment rate in the state and jobs just aren't out there.

I do commend him for keeping contact with his children... many wouldn't. I'm not saying roll over and take it from him but again we all hit bumps in the road from time to time. If you really think he's making an effort the I would give it some time as long as you can make it. If the two of you can sit and talk about it that would be great. Then make YOUR decision from there. Your mom isn't the one involved in this... You're the one who has to deal with the stress and what not of it all so it's your decision.

 

[venus72]

yes we do get along we've made sure of that for the sake of our son. I know he will catch up with the support cause he doesn't like the idea of being that far behind. He is a good man and loves his son it's just that his ex is a psycho and really is a thorn in both of our sides. She can't stand the fact that we are able to sit down and talk like the adults we are. Every time he tries to talk to her about their daughter he ends up getting arrested for something he didn't do, because he tells her the truth about things and it's not what she wants to hear so she gets mad and goes psycho and it starts the court stuff all over again it's a long story. we get along and it is a good thing for our son. and we've learned to deal with the ex by hiring an excellent attorney. his doc took him out of work yes i have a support order in the county i live in. We can manage for the time being without the support, i understand his situation with his back injuiesbut his ex hit him with her car so it's really her fault he's not paying support at this time it was being paid through unemployment but that has ran out. Thank you all for the replys and for listening

 

[tigger22472]

That's great to hear. You don't hear it NEARLY often enough and I get made fun of when I say that my DH and I and his ex .. and even his ex's husband get along great. I truly believe that it's because out of the 4 of us my husband is the only one that doesn't have a psycho for an ex (her). It doesn't mean that we agree on EVERYTHING it just means that we look hard before finding a 'hill worth dying on'. In fact his ex is on vacation with her husband right now and HER son is staying with us. It's much nicer when everyone can work together because the children REALLY REALLY do benefit from it.

 

[venus72]

i agree tigger. his ex is the real problem drugs...ect. She can't separate herself from her daughter and realize that father and daughter have a separate relationship from him and her. So she is our only problem as for him and i we will stay on even ground for the sake of our son and i've promised him that i would never do the things that his ex has done to him and their daughter and i plan on keeping my word. It works out well for the both of us and it drives his ex nuts that we get along so well. I just wish my mom would lighten up on the whole anti-dad thing.

 

[tigger22472]

Sounds to me as if you have to do what I did that helped... SOME.. It didn't help completely for there is always another situation that I feel like I'm banging my head against a wall trying to explain to her.. but. First off and the most important thing is be firm in letting her know that these thoughts she has CAN NOT and WILL NOT be repeated around your son. The last thing he needs to hear is this coming from anyone's mouth. Secondly, let her know that you know SOME of your rights and you are looking into the others so YOU know what your doing. I know it will take a lot to make her understand you're a grown up now and can actually make decision on your own.. LOL Try explaining things legally to her... show her you know what you are talking about. And then if all else fails be firm and just simply tell her to stay out of it. This is between YOU and your son's dad... it doesn't even all include your son. Remind her who the parents are(I have to do that from time to time.).

 

[venus72]

thanks tigger. i think explaining it legally with help her understand things better she is a smart woman. And if she can see that i've done my homework maybe she will back off. Thanks for listening and the advice. Blessed Be......