Suspected neglect of physically disabled person

[cstenson2003]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Ohio


I don't know if this belongs here or not, just looking for some help.

My sister-in-law is 48 years old, blind, in end-stage renal failure, is on dialysis 3x/wk. She had an ischemic stroke (blockage) in August and a TIA (mini-stroke) in November; as a result she has no use of her left side. She is completely dependent on others for all of her care. She lives at home with her 2 teenagers (18 & 19, both seniors in high school) and brother #1. She has 2 other brothers, both living more than an hour away, but willing to do whatever they can to care for her. Parents are both deceased, no other living blood relatives. I am her general POA, there is no HCPOA. The father of the children is willing/able to have the kids live with him.

Here is the situation: After the stroke in August she was put into a nursing home for rehabilitation, then sent home. This happened with the assurance from brother #1 that he would be there 24/7 to take care of her. Brother #2 (my husband) and brother #3 were and are against this because of the history of brother #1's alcoholism, general irresponsibility and unreliability. Basically, he is living in her apartment rent-free and running around town on her dime. We (brothers #2 & 3 and I) tried to convince her to move into a skilled care facility near us so we can get there quickly if needed and so we can visit her, but she refused because she wanted to be near her kids (understandable). We found out today that brother #1 has been seriously neglectful of his duty to her by disappearing for extended periods of time, not giving her meds and not getting her to her necessary appointments.

Due to distance, brothers #2 & 3 are only able to visit very infrequently. Today, brother #3 went to her apartment to visit after work and found her alone, in pain and brother #1 no where to be found. According to her, he left early this morning & he hadn't been there all day; apparently this is very frequent. She told brother #3 that she had not had her meds all day (apparently this is the norm) and that she has been missing dialysis appointments (if you don't know, dialysis is life-sustaining). Brother #1 sold all of her furniture (everything, literally - they are sleeping on the floor) for beer/wine money. So, brother #3 called us. Brothers #2 & 3 have decided that they want to take her out of brother #1's care as soon as possible. This is going to have to be done with force and against her wishes. She does not want to live in a "nursing home" and she insists that her kids can take care of her. However, 18 & 19 kids are not responsible enough and not cognitively able to provide 24 hour care to their mother. It is not reasonable to expect them to be able to do this. And even though I am the POA, I am not sure this gives me the ability to forcibly put her into a skilled care facility.

She lives in Hamilton County, Ohio. I called Adult Protective Services this evening to try to get some help taking her out of brother #1's care and to put her into the care of brothers #2 & 3 so they can put her into a skilled care facility (she needs 24/7 care and neither of the other 2 brothers are able to provide that due to work). Basically, the goal is to have a court appoint brothers #2 & 3 as her guardians so they can get her into a facility that is able to care for her. Unfortunately, APS/CPS only deals with those age 0-21 & 60+. They do not do anything for/with those who are ages in between.

The question I have is this: Does anyone on here have or know of any resources for people in this situation that fall in the "middle" age range? The APS worker gave me a couple numbers (AG, but they only deal with nursing homes; Victim services, but they only deal with victims of violent crimes). It was suggested that we may be able to probate her, and I'm going to check into that tomorrow. The ADA only deals with employers & places of business, so they can't help. I thought about calling the police, but I'm not sure they can actually do anything beyond taking her to the hospital, who will release her because she has no acute needs according to them. We don't know what to do. She has a right to receive good care, we want good care for her, we are unable to provide that care and want her in a place that can care for her. She has been threatening suicide - I'm hoping that we can use that to get the courts involved. Does anyone on here have any suggestions on what we can do? Any insight would be greatly appreciated!!What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?

 

[justalayman]

I think your bigger problem is that as long as she is mentally competent, she is in control of herself. If she doesn't want to leave her current situation, your actions, if any, are very limited. Unless you can get a guardianship, not sure you can really do anything.

 

[cstenson2003]

I think your bigger problem is that as long as she is mentally competent, she is in control of herself. If she doesn't want to leave her current situation, your actions, if any, are very limited. Unless you can get a guardianship, not sure you can really do anything.

That's what we're trying to do - get a guardianship. The question is, how do we do that? We don't know much about the legal system at all, especially not this kind of stuff. Can I do that with the POA? Do we need a lawyer? Do you know how to go about getting a guardianship for a person who is mentally competent, yet 100% dependent AND threatening suicide? We just aren't sure what we can do, if anything. If she remains in this situation, she is going to die. No one wants that, especially her children.

Thanks for the reply!

 

[justalayman]

you would have to apply to the courts.


start with this:

ODDC- Guardianship In Ohio

don't know what county you are in but the actions should be similar, if not the same across the state.

Guardianship Information - Probate Court, Franklin County, Ohio

there are some others here that know quite a bit about this subject due to having personal experience with the subject matter. Hopefully they will add to this. There is also a poster that has been somewhat absent lately that would be a great source of info; ohiogal. I suspect her work load has been keeping her too busy to post a lot here lately

 

[Isis1]

Just, I'll give her a "ping" to let her know about this thread!

 

[cstenson2003]

Thank you for the link. It is much appreciated.

If the senior poster ohiogal is willing, we would appreciate her (?) input as well. We want to move as quickly as possible to help my sister-in-law as much as we can, even if we are only able to get brother #1 out of the picture and establish some kind of home health services for her.

Again, thank you.

 

[justalayman]

well, it's 20 'til 2 in the morning where she lives so I suspect she is sound asleep right about now. Just keep checking back to see if she has posted, or anybody else for that matter.

 

[Ohiogal]

Thank you for the link. It is much appreciated.

If the senior poster ohiogal is willing, we would appreciate her (?) input as well. We want to move as quickly as possible to help my sister-in-law as much as we can, even if we are only able to get brother #1 out of the picture and establish some kind of home health services for her.

Again, thank you.

You have gotten good advice so far. What I will say is that you might be able to file an emergency guardianship over her. You might also file a police complaint for brother's actions in selling all the furniture and what not. But I would caution because the 18 and 19 year olds are considered adults and they as well could be considered culpable in this mess regardless of what you believe.

 

[cstenson2003]

Thank you all!

You have gotten good advice so far. What I will say is that you might be able to file an emergency guardianship over her. You might also file a police complaint for brother's actions in selling all the furniture and what not. But I would caution because the 18 and 19 year olds are considered adults and they as well could be considered culpable in this mess regardless of what you believe.

I have read the links and called the probate court. We are able to apply for emergency guardianship with a letter of disability and incompetency from her physician.

I also just got off the phone with her dialysis social worker and her nephrologist and he is willing to write this letter AFTER we have a group meeting (her, all brothers, myself as the POA and the physician) to discuss the situation together, present her options to her and give her the option to voluntarily seek 24 hr care before we forcibly put her into 24 hr care. It turns out that the doctor himself has actually, on more than 1 occasion, personally paid for a taxi to pick her up for her dialysis appointments. He was suspicious of what was happening at home but not aware of the full depth of it and is in complete agreement with our assessment of the situation. We have already planned this group meeting for tomorrow afternoon.

Thank you all for your guidance, it is very much appreciated and potentially life saving.

 

[stealth2]

Personally, I think her children should also be there, as they are adults.

 

[mistoffolees]

I also just got off the phone with her dialysis social worker and her nephrologist and he is willing to write this letter AFTER we have a group meeting (her, all brothers, myself as the POA and the physician) to discuss the situation together, present her options to her and give her the option to voluntarily seek 24 hr care before we forcibly put her into 24 hr care. It turns out that the doctor himself has actually, on more than 1 occasion, personally paid for a taxi to pick her up for her dialysis appointments. He was suspicious of what was happening at home but not aware of the full depth of it and is in complete agreement with our assessment of the situation. We have already planned this group meeting for tomorrow afternoon.

Smart doctor. This is a major step and not to be taken lightly. It is too easy for one relative to do something that harms the patient and/or their relationship with other relatives because of some selfish desires. The doctor wants to make sure that EVERYONE is on board before participating in what could be a scam (obviously, I'm not saying that it would be in your case, but the doctor has to protect himself, too).

 

[cstenson2003]

Smart doctor. This is a major step and not to be taken lightly. It is too easy for one relative to do something that harms the patient and/or their relationship with other relatives because of some selfish desires. The doctor wants to make sure that EVERYONE is on board before participating in what could be a scam (obviously, I'm not saying that it would be in your case, but the doctor has to protect himself, too).

I completely agree with you. However, things have taken a bit of a turn in the last couple of hours. For the good.

The sister had a dialysis appointment today at 9am. According to the social worker there (who I have spent several hours on the phone with today), the nurse noticed something out-of-the-ordinary wrong with her today and asked her what was going on. She told the nurse that she didn't feel safe at home and didn't want to go back there and asked them to call me to see if I can get her into a safe place! The social worker told me that she obviously hadn't eaten in a few days and was really tearful and upset. They are feeding her and working with me & her to make immediate plans for her well-being and future safety & health.

I am SO happy that she recognizes that her current situation is not a good one for her. Right now the plan is to admit her to the local hospital for the night, and tomorrow she will be going to a local assisted living facility for permanent residence. She will not have to go back into this situation any more!!

As for the brother and the kids, the brother is on his own - he will eventually drink himself to death, I have no doubt. The kids will be staying with their father to finish school. Tomorrow I will be calling her apartment manager to inform them that she will not be returning and my husband & the other brother will be coming to clean out her apartment (whats left anyway) over the weekend.

Thank you all for your advice.

 

[justalayman]

wow!

glad to hear things are moving, so quickly too, in the right direction.

 

[cstenson2003]

wow!

glad to hear things are moving, so quickly too, in the right direction.

I know, right! Wow is definitely the right word here. Totally unexpected but good news nonetheless. She is finally going to get the good help she needs.