Terminating Biological Moms Rights

[djnj13]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Arkansas

My husband has a four year old daughter. I have been caring for her since she was only 18 months old, since January of 2015. Her biological mother has been mostly absent since I came into the picture and from what I understand she didn't care for her daughter before I came along either.

Between January of 2015 and March of 2016 the mother saw her daughter a handful of times. She would request to see her rarely and most times cancel last minute. She would very rarely call to speak to her either. There were times she was homeless during this time and was not able to see her because of this. Believed to be homeless cause of drug abuse.

I'm March of 2016 was the last time the mother has seen her daughter. In June of 2016 she moved to New Mexico without saying goodbye. While she was away the divorce was finalized. She did not show up for the custody court date so the dad was awarded full custody, visitation at his discretion, and she's supposed to pay $62 a week in child support. The mom came back to Arkansas in January of 2017 but did not notify my husband until February that she was back in state.

After he was notified they met up to discuss visitation. He requested that she start paying child support, get a job and a house, and show that she is going to stay here in Arkansas and not run off. He asked this to keep his daughter from the heartbreak of being abandoned again. The mother failed to do any of these things for months and was hostile in messages. We had been shown messages of her buying weed, pills, and talking about shooting up. Her own mother was the one to show us these messages.

Recently he discovered the mother and her boyfriend did have a home but she failed to notify him of this. The boyfriend was just arrested on multiple drug charges, one of which was possession of meth. Now the mother is talking about leaving to go to New Mexico again. We aren't sure if this is true as of right now.

Do I have a decent chance at adopting my step daughter? Does this sound like grounds to terminate her parental rights? Her own mother is on our side and willing to help me adopt. Would that be beneficial to our case?

 

[justalayman]

You have no rights to seek the termination of the mother's parental rights. Unless dad is willing to seek a termination of the mother's rights, nothing will happen.

Additonally it sounds like you and maybe the father are actually actively denying the mother visitation. Granted unless there are visitation orders in place there is no requirement to allow the mother visitation but since you are making decisions arbitrarily as to what the mother has to do to see her child. The only entity that has that right is a court of law.


While there might have been a possibility the mother's rights could be terminated, it sounds like you (and presumably the father) have done everything you can do to screw that up.

 

[djnj13]

You have no rights to seek the termination of the mother's parental rights. Unless dad is willing to seek a termination of the mother's rights, nothing will happen.

Additonally it sounds like you and maybe the father are actually actively denying the mother visitation. Granted unless there are visitation orders in place there is no requirement to allow the mother visitation but since you are making decisions arbitrarily as to what the mother has to do to see her child. The only entity that has that right is a court of law.


While there might have been a possibility the mother's rights could be terminated, it sounds like you (and presumably the father) have done everything you can do to screw that up.

The father wants me to adopt his daughter. I would not attempt to do it without his consent. I'm simply the one asking the question. She was not denied visitation until February of 2017. Prior to that she abandoned her daughter. The dad always wanted his daughter to have a relationship with her biological mother.

The only reason she is being denied visitation is for the well being of the child. The mother was homeless and living in a crack house. We didn't find out until last week that she had moved into her own home. She did not notify anyone that she had a home. She has made very minimal effort to see her daughter. But if she's on pills and meth and able to buy weed but can't financially support her daughter is that not child neglect? She owes over $1500 in child support.

 

[justalayman]

The child cannot be adopted until the mother's rights are terminated and that has nothing to do with you. It is 100% dads issue.


And the inclusion of his much she owes in child support;

Your point? What does that have to do with anything? The non-custodial parent doesn't have to buy visitation rights. They are two entirely separate issues and the visitation is not affected by the child suooort issue.

You are still trying to play judge and make arbitrary decisions about the mother?


And the fact she has made any effort to see the child, and apparently it was denied by you or the father, will weigh heavily against your attempts to remove the mother's rights.


Let's start something different;

Are there any visitation orders in place?

 

[Just Blue]

The father wants me to adopt his daughter. I would not attempt to do it without his consent. I'm simply the one asking the question. She was not denied visitation until February of 2017. Prior to that she abandoned her daughter. The dad always wanted his daughter to have a relationship with her biological mother.

The only reason she is being denied visitation is for the well being of the child. The mother was homeless and living in a crack house. We didn't find out until last week that she had moved into her own home. She did not notify anyone that she had a home. She has made very minimal effort to see her daughter. But if she's on pills and meth and able to buy weed but can't financially support her daughter is that not child neglect? She owes over $1500 in child support.

Why do you keep referring to Mom as "biological mother"? Just say Mother or Mom. K??

 

[djnj13]

The child cannot be adopted until the mother's rights are terminated and that has nothing to do with you. It is 100% dads issue.


And the inclusion of his much she owes in child support;

Your point? What does that have to do with anything? The non-custodial parent doesn't have to buy visitation rights. They are two entirely separate issues and the visitation is not affected by the child suooort issue.

You are still trying to play judge and make arbitrary decisions about the mother?


And the fact she has made any effort to see the child, and apparently it was denied by you or the father, will weigh heavily against your attempts to remove the mother's rights.


Let's start something different;

Are there any visitation orders in place?

You aren't answering any of my questions. Only judging me. I came here for advice while we wait to go see a lawyer. I included her child support because I asked a question about it. Is it not neglectful to not provide financial support for your child but to support your drug habit? I feel like that would be highly frowned upon by the courts.

No there are no visitation orders in place. My husband was trying to set up visitation with her but had a couple requests before hand to protect his daughter. She did not see her for a month shy of a year because of the mothers own decision. Would it not have been harmful to the child to barely remember her mother, have her pop in to remind her who she is, and then leave again? That would have been heartbreaking for her. The mother agreed to all the terms at the meeting. But then did not follow through.

Don't you think it would have been harmful for the child to be in a crack house? If the dad had been aware she had a home things may have been different but as I've stated already she never told him that. She barely makes contact to try to see her. She has not even asked but demanded to see her out of the blue 4-6 times since February. The last time being almost a month ago.

 

[CTU]

OP, read this: https://www.arlegalservices.org/files/FSAdoptionOverview.pdf

You are the one petitioning for the adoption.

 

[djnj13]

Why do you keep referring to Mom as "biological mother"? Just say Mother or Mom. K??

I'm not sure what this has to do with my question. I referred to her as the "biological mother" once in my entire entry. Every other time I referred to her as mom or mother. So I did not "keep referring to her as biological mother" as you said. Besides the child calls me her mom. Not because she was told to or because she believes me to be her mother but because I'm the one that cares for her and she loves me.

 

[justalayman]

You aren't answering any of my questions. Only judging me. I came here for advice while we wait to go see a lawyer. I included her child support because I asked a question about it. Is it not neglectful to not provide financial support for your child but to support your drug habit? I feel like that would be highly frowned upon by the courts.

No there are no visitation orders in place. My husband was trying to set up visitation with her but had a couple requests before hand to protect his daughter. She did not see her for a month shy of a year because of the mothers own decision. Would it not have been harmful to the child to barely remember her mother, have her pop in to remind her who she is, and then leave again? That would have been heartbreaking for her. The mother agreed to all the terms at the meeting. But then did not follow through.

Don't you think it would have been harmful for the child to be in a crack house? If the dad had been aware she had a home things may have been different but as I've stated already she never told him that. She barely makes contact to try to see her. She has not even asked but demanded to see her out of the blue 4-6 times since February. The last time being almost a month ago.

If the mother has attempted to see the child within the last year, especially if you have frustrated those efforts, a court is more likely to admonish you for your actions than terminate the mother's rights. The money, while it can be a part of a basis for terminating child support, is never the sole means used to make the determination.

The fact she has attempted to see the child 4-6 times since February means you need to accept you will continue to be step mom for a long time.

 

[djnj13]

OP, read this: https://www.arlegalservices.org/files/FSAdoptionOverview.pdf

You are the one petitioning for the adoption.

Thank you for giving me something helpful!

 

[djnj13]

If the mother has attempted to see the child within the last year, especially if you have frustrated those efforts, a court is more likely to admonish you for your actions than terminate the mother's rights. The money, while it can be a part of a basis for terminating child support, is never the sole means used to make the determination.

The fact she has attempted to see the child 4-6 times since February means you need to accept you will continue to be step mom for a long time.

What if she moves back to New Mexico?

 

[justalayman]

After he was notified they met up to discuss visitation. He requested that she start paying child support, get a job and a house, and show that she is going to stay here in Arkansas and not run off.

None of those are required for a parent to see their child and the father imposing such rules will be a problem in court. The father has no right to make any of those demands. He shot himself on the foot.

 

[justalayman]

What if she moves back to New Mexico?

IF she does, it becomes part of the situstion. Why do you believe her moving to New Mexico itself is a problem? There are many parent child visitation relationships that are dealt with clear across the country or even in other countries of the world.

 

[djnj13]

None of those are required for a parent to see their child and the father imposing such rules will be a problem in court. The father has no right to make any of those demands. He shot himself on the foot.

He wanted to see that she wasn't going to abandon her daughter again. We feel like all of those requests are very basic adult functions that shouldn't have to be asked of her. She abandoned her daughter for 11 months of her own choice because she would rather party and spend time with her boyfriend and friends. What could 2 more months hurt to ensure that she wasn't going to run off. I'm going to repeat again that she was living in a crack house and doing meth. It is the fathers job to look out for his daughters best interest. She received no visitation rights so he was not violating any court order. The mother agreed to all of the terms you say are unfair when he talked to her about it. She claimed it to be reasonable and promised she would do it. Again I'm going to say that she got a home and did not even ask to see her daughter. Her effort was very minimal. I've read enough laws on this to know that minimal effort can also be considered abandonment. All she had to do was stay in touch and show effort. Instead she did drugs and would fail to message him for weeks tocmomths at a time. There was a time she didn't message him for 2 months despite him messaging her to check in. Why can a father not protect his own daughter? Even if it is from the biological mother?

 

[djnj13]

IF she does, it becomes part of the situstion. Why do you believe her moving to New Mexico itself is a problem? There are many parent child visitation relationships that are dealt with clear across the country or even in other countries of the world.

The last time she moved to New Mexico she didn't even attempt to call her daughter...