Termination of parental rights and...

[Jenifa]

NY - Hi all. I have been hanging in the shadows again reading the threads, but I've been here.

My husband was granted custody of my stepdaughter.

New dilemma - a couple of questions....thanx to anyone who responds.

1- How long does a parent neglect visiting his/her child for it legally to be considered abandonment? (there is no visitation in the court papers but we are willing to drive the child 100 miles each way for her to see her mother for a few hours at least every other weekend - the mother refused)

2- When do courts deem it necessary to terminate parental rights?

3- If I want to adopt my stepdaughter and she wants me to adopt her also (she's 15), will a judge consider terminating the rights of the mother?


For anyone who wants a little history -

**the mother smokes crack and drinks heavily.

**the child was arrested with the mother in March.

**each time the child has lived with her father and I she has improved in all aspects of her life.

**each time she has returned to her mother, her life has gone downhill.

**my stepdaughter is adopted by her mother and my husband. She already has issues relating to being given up for adoption by her bio parents. Now she's going through feeling like there is something wrong with her because not only didn't her bio mom want her, but her adoptive mother treated her like garbage, and continually told her that SHE (my stepdaughter) was lucky to even have parents because otherwise she'd be somewhere in a foster home. (remember Mommie dearest anyone?)

I have watched year after year, her "mother" treat her like a piece of garbage (all mental abuse which there was no proving until the drug use was found). I want to adopt her because God forbid something happens to my husband (though I hope nothing will, he works in Manhattan near Ground Zero), I would have no legal foot to stand on, to keep her with me, her brother and sisters, which is definitely where she would want to stay.

I know, I'm on a rant, so now I am gonna shut up.


Thanx again,
Jenifa

 

[LegalBeagle]

If there has been at least 6 month since she the last visit and CS check.. and you can prove all of the above, then you have enough to go see a local Family Law Attorney to discuss further.

Whenever a parent objects, it can be difficult to TPR.

 

[Jenifa]

Thank you LB

Thank you so much LB.

I am going to contact a family law attorney tomorrow, thanks much to your advice. The mother has no visitation rights nor is she obligated to pay, as the court orders (there are two seperate orders from two different NY counties) only modified custody and terminated his obligation, and there is no mention of her rights or an obligation for her to pay.

Thanks again

Jenifa

 

[jeanine]

What NY counties?

 

[Jenifa]

Counties

Orange and Richmond

 

[jeanine]

In my case it's Suffolk and Nassau. Does Family Court suck in those counties as well?

 

[Jenifa]

counties

Honestly, under normal circumstances, I do not know how the family court is. In our case, the mother (respondent) didn't show up out of fear of being arrested for child abuse/neglect, so when a plaintiff shows up to two court dates, and the respondent doesn't so much as call the courthouse to try to plead her side, there isn't much of a battle.

Children's Services in Richmond interviewed my husband and I, my SD, and her mother, and went back to court stating they believed it in the child's best interests to remain in her father's home (which is where she has been since she revealed the drug use in her mother's home).

In Orange County, there were 3 hearings concerning child support and each time, it has gone in my husband's favor, due to special circumstances.

 

[jeanine]

I'm happy for you that things seem to be working out there. I know in these two counties - it is a load of BS. CP is constantly denying NCP visitation - since child was born! Yet, she never gets in any trouble - but god forbid, the NCP stopped paying CS, he would be arrested and have his license suspended. I just don't understand how one parent who disobeys a court order doesn't get in trouble, when if the other parent also disobeyed a court order they would get into trouble. I can tell you on Long Island, it is a BIG waste of time and money. You sit all day, judges call out sick, cases get adjourned ALL the time, etc. Our lovely court system hard at work.

 

[Jenifa]

your dilemma

I understand that completely, my brother went through that in the Bronx with his ex denying court-ordered visitation. Most Child Support Collection Units have been put into effect in recent years (within the last 10, I'd say), so I think if enough NCPs push for legislation regulating penalties for denying court ordered visitation, there will be in the future. It's just a matter of time...because most judges do get tired of seeing the same faces repeatedly. In the Bronx, when my brother went to court for the third time to plead in court to get her to stop intefering with his visitation, the mediator suggested that my brother "may" have a good custody case, because she chronically kept keeping his son from him. You know how they cannot tell you exactly what "will" happen. All he had to do was hint to his ex that this was his intentions, and she stopped. Unfortunately, some CPs are confident that a judge won't take their kids away, and more unfortunately, there still exists the judges who look at the NCP as a nuisance in their courtroom. Sometimes, justice prevails...others not.