The past doesn't count

[DeterminedDad]

What is the name of your state? Nevada

I took physical custody of my eight year old son when his mother went to prison for drugs (again). I filed for custody, and then for temp custody. The judge says he doesn't want to hear about her past. When my son came to live with me, 10 months ago, his behavior was terrible. He told lies all the time, stold from his friends and from me, and he was physically abusive to his new school mates. He's made a lot of progress since. He no longer steals or assaults other children. His lies are minimal. He mostly just gets in trouble for talking in class now. His mother convinced the judge that I had nothing to do with him until he was 5 years old, even though I helped raise him until he was 2. I can't prove it if she's using and selling drugs now. I'm afraid if he goes back to live with her he will end up in juvenile or prison. How can I use 'Best Interest' to get cusody?

 

[LdiJ]

What is the name of your state? Nevada

I took physical custody of my eight year old son when his mother went to prison for drugs (again). I filed for custody, and then for temp custody. The judge says he doesn't want to hear about her past. When my son came to live with me, 10 months ago, his behavior was terrible. He told lies all the time, stold from his friends and from me, and he was physically abusive to his new school mates. He's made a lot of progress since. He no longer steals or assaults other children. His lies are minimal. He mostly just gets in trouble for talking in class now. His mother convinced the judge that I had nothing to do with him until he was 5 years old, even though I helped raise him until he was 2. I can't prove it if she's using and selling drugs now. I'm afraid if he goes back to live with her he will end up in juvenile or prison. How can I use 'Best Interest' to get cusody?

Is the judge actually saying that her recent incarceration is her "past"? Where do things stand right now in the legal proceedings? What is mom's status with her criminal case? Give us a better idea of where things stand with everyone now.

 

[DeterminedDad]

Mom's Status

Our original hearing was in Jan. The judge postponed it until her release. She was released on parole 2 weeks ago. We went back to court on week ago. That's when the judge said that he doesn't want to hear about the past. He ordered us to go to mediation. Our next hearing is June 16 (one week after my son gets out of school). At that point, if we haven't reached an agreement, the judge will decide. He said that one of us will be very unhappy. My ex and I live in different cities, so joint custody would raise issues about school.

Nevada

I don't have money for an attorney. We go back to court on June 16. Papers were filed almost a year ago. I plan to produce letters from my son's teacher and other school officials. Can I carry these into the courtroom, or do I need to re-file my custody papers and add these letters to them?

 

[LdiJ]

Our original hearing was in Jan. The judge postponed it until her release. She was released on parole 2 weeks ago. We went back to court on week ago. That's when the judge said that he doesn't want to hear about the past. He ordered us to go to mediation. Our next hearing is June 16 (one week after my son gets out of school). At that point, if we haven't reached an agreement, the judge will decide. He said that one of us will be very unhappy. My ex and I live in different cities, so joint custody would raise issues about school.

Ok...you have to gather as much documentation as you can (particularly from the school) regarding your son's behavior when you first took custody...and the changes that have taken place since then. If you don't have an attorney it would REALLY be in your best interest (and your child's) to get one. If you can get your child in to see a counselor/therapist between now and your next hearing that could also be very helpful....the counselor/therapist could be a valuable ally.

Basically...the judge is telling you that he doesn't want to make the decision and is trying to scare both of you into making an agreement, on your own. This means that the judge wasn't particularly impressed with his initial reaction to either one of you at the hearing last week.

If you can't come to an agreement in mediation then you MUST do your homework and be seriously prepared for a full evidentiary hearing. That is best accomplished with a good attorney.

 

[DeterminedDad]

New Evidence

Nevada

I don't have money for an attorney. We go back to court on June 16. Papers were filed almost a year ago. I plan to produce letters from my son's teacher and other school officials. Can I carry these into the courtroom, or do I need to re-file my custody papers and add these letters to to them?

 

[aharding51148]

i suggest

asking the court to order her to undergo mandatory drug testing on a regular basis. if that doesn't work, make periodic calls to your state's child abuse hotline, all states have them, and they will investigate the current situation. good luck.

 

[VeronicaGia]

Nevada

I don't have money for an attorney. We go back to court on June 16. Papers were filed almost a year ago. I plan to produce letters from my son's teacher and other school officials. Can I carry these into the courtroom, or do I need to re-file my custody papers and add these letters to to them?

You really can't afford not to have an attorney.

Is she currently on parole? That would not be considered the past, but the present.....

Another excellent website: www.deltabravo.net