The right thing

[Kevmar44]

What is the name of your state?What is the name of your state?What is the name of your state?Ohio
My ex and I have been divorced 3 long hard years. We were separated for 3 yrs prior and got along great, but then came the new gf/wife and things turned ugly. During this time I had little contact with his sister and Dad but his Mom would call from time to time and send e-mails to my son. I found out recently that my ex informed his family that they are "forbidden" to speak to me, however some things have happened in the the past few weeks that have made that impossible.

Two weeks ago my ex MOL was up from FL and called me and asked me to bring my son to visit her at my ex SIL's. My ex knew she was in town and it was his week-end but he refused to take my son to visit b/c he's not speaking to her. It's been over a year that he's talked to her b/c she told him that she doesn't like his new wife. Now this week his Dad is in town so my ex called and wants to pick up my son on my week-end to visit. As it happens my son is having a birthday/sleepover with 10 friends Saturday night so this is not a good week-end. (This has been planned for 2 months and my son sent out invitations 2 weeks ago and my ex knew about it before he called.) Communication between my ex and I consists of me leaving a message on his answering machine b/c he refuses to speak to me, so I called his sister to find out the details and to see if there was another day my son could get together with his Grandpa. She mentioned something about doing something with my son on Friday (I agreed to let him miss a day of school) and spend the night Friday night but if he winds up at my ex's house I KNOW there will be a problem with me getting him back on time for his party AND my son does NOT want his dad or his wife to be included in on his visit. Obviously I am trying to be as accommodating as possible and don't want to be difficult, but if my ex is involved in this it will turn from a nice jesture into a nightmare for me, especially after he finds out I've by-passed him and called his sister.

Any suggestions?

 

[BL]

She mentioned something about doing something with my son on Friday (I agreed to let him miss a day of school) and spend the night Friday night but if he winds up at my ex's house I KNOW there will be a problem with me getting him back on time for his party AND my son does NOT want his dad or his wife to be included in on his visit. Obviously I am trying to be as accommodating as possible and don't want to be difficult, but if my ex is involved in this it will turn from a nice jesture into a nightmare for me, especially after he finds out I've by-passed him and called his sister.

Any suggestions?

Call them up. Tell them something has come up. Tell them you can meet them some place for a few hrs. to visit .

If you knew this would create a worry , why did you tell them they could take the child in the first place .

 

[snostar]

You are only required to follow the court order. You do not have to allow the father visitation on your weekend. I have previously posted for you the possible ramifications in a custody case of promoting a relationship with grandparents when a parent objects.

 

[Kevmar44]

And here I thought I was going to get well of course you are doing the right thing by making sure your son has a relationship with his grandparents!

Ok, first of all I agreed to let him go b/c I told my SIL that my son wanted to spend the day with just his Grandpa and not his dad and I she told me his dad was probably not going to be going. Second of all my son hadn't seen his Grandpa in 2 years and has always had a good relationship with him. I can't NOT let my son see him b/c his own dad is a jerk. Well I can, but I have a hard enough time being nice about my ex around my son so I'm trying to let him see I want him to have a good relationship with his grandparents.

And I'm not sure I've ever been told anything about the ramifications of promoting a relationship with a grandparent (but I'm pregnant and my memory is fading quickly!) however, my ex has never personally told me that I am not to take our son to see his grandparents. My own Dad passed away almost 4 years ago and not a day goes by that I don't wish he weren't still around for my kids. I can't imagine a court in this world that wouldn't understand me encouraging a relationship with my son and his grandparents. The ONLY reason my ex does not take our son to see his Mom is b/c she told him that she doesn't like his new wife and he's acting like a jerk. She is in poor health and could be gone tomorrow for all we know and I won't be a part of not letting her at least enjoy her only grandson until that day comes. Any judge that has a problem with that can pretty much pucker up and kiss my posterior!