Things got interesting!

[mommyto4]

What is the name of your state? Arizona

My exhusband after 6 years of being out of the state called me on Thursday to inform me that he has moved back to town. I have no issues with him moving back to town ( i personally dont care for him but I would like to see him try to make a go at being a parent his time with the 2 boys has been very sparatic)

Normally what happens is he will call and tell me that he is going to be out for a few days or however long and I will let him come and see the kids as he pleases. Well now that he is here on a perm basis he thinks that can continue. I told him no I am sorry that we are going to have to come up with a visitation plan. He doesnt care for that. I have asked him to sit down and see if we can come to an agreement or else we will have to go to court. I looked up Arizona guidelines and it says regarding to visitations parents first if parents come to no agreement then courts decide.

He says that he wants the boys every weekend and on day out of the week. I have told him that is not fair and his reasons are that he has been out of the state for 6 years that he feels that it is.

My questions here are:

1. Can I force him to go to court? He says that he will not attend court PERIOD

2. Is his request something that I should consider. Just because he comes back to town I dont think that I should give up my weekends with the boys. every other weekend sure I understand but not every weekend.

3. He is also asking for every holiday for now can he do that?

Thank you all for your help.

 

[brisgirl825]

My questions here are:

1. Can I force him to go to court? He says that he will not attend court PERIOD

2. Is his request something that I should consider. Just because he comes back to town I dont think that I should give up my weekends with the boys. every other weekend sure I understand but not every weekend.

3. He is also asking for every holiday for now can he do that?

Thank you all for your help.

Can you force him...No. However if he does not show up to court the judge will enter a default judgement in your favor.

It depends on the situation. I personally would not give up every weekend. I assume you work so you would not have any free days to spend with kids. It is pretty standard for each parent to have every other weekend with the kids. The midweek visit is reasonable.

Every other holiday is also standard. Otherwise you'd never have a holiday. I wouldn't budge on that issue either.

 

[Mbarr]

My exhusband after 6 years of being out of the state called me on Thursday to inform me that he has moved back to town.

Does your divorce make any provision for visitation? Please type exactly what is stated in the divorce.

1. Can I force him to go to court? He says that he will not attend court PERIOD

No, he doesn't have to attend. But you can file to establish a visitation schedule (if there isn't already one established in your divorce), and he can default by failing to appear. Then you'll either get what you ask for, or get the standard orders for your area.

2. Is his request something that I should consider. Just because he comes back to town I dont think that I should give up my weekends with the boys. every other weekend sure I understand but not every weekend.

No. It's unlikely that you would ever be ordered to allow every weekend visitation with dad.

3. He is also asking for every holiday for now can he do that?

He can ask, but he isn't likely to get it.

 

[mehr]

No way..... every other weekend and every other holiday is standard. Yes, you can force him to go to court if you get him served.

 

[mommyto4]

Divorce degree states that he has 20 days per year visitation to be arranged by both parties. He was just leaving the state when the divorce was finalized.

I feel that it is fair to give him more time and to come to an agreement but he is being very difficult to work with.

From what I looked up the standard for our aread is everyother weekend from what I can find.

I guess what I will do then is submit my offer to him if he doesnt like it then I will file.

Thank you

 

[Mbarr]

Divorce degree states that he has 20 days per year visitation to be arranged by both parties. He was just leaving the state when the divorce was finalized.

I feel that it is fair to give him more time and to come to an agreement but he is being very difficult to work with.

From what I looked up the standard for our aread is everyother weekend from what I can find.

I guess what I will do then is submit my offer to him if he doesnt like it then I will file.

Thank you

Or, rather than spending YOUR money to petition the court to amend HIS visitation to give him more time, you could just allow additional time on your terms, so long as you stay within the framework of the already existing order (i.e. allowing no less than the 20 days). If dad wants to change the court order, let him spend the money to petition the court.

 

[brisgirl825]

Or, rather than spending YOUR money to petition the court to amend HIS visitation to give him more time, you could just allow additional time on your terms, so long as you stay within the framework of the already existing order. If dad wants to change the court order, let him spend the money to petition the court.

I concur!

 

[MomIsWorried]

There are a few different parenting plans that the state of Arizona uses ... for children of different ages. You can check out this link and read about the parenting plans that Arizona uses.

http://www.supreme.state.az.us/dr/Pdf/Parenting_Time_Plan_Final.pdf

 

[mommyto4]

that is a very good ideal! thank you for the suggestion!