This is a good one.. Dad has full custody has wanted nothing till now....

[rmet4nzkx]

I used the term adoptive parents because he did and this held some significance to the picture he was presenting. Many parents are protective of their children no matter their age when their behavior is in question, it is a natural response, perhaps more so if after investing so much time and effort in raising a child and the outcome is disappointing.

I was not making any disparaging remarks about her parents or their ability to raise their child or how they became a family, but that it might be difficult for them for a number of reasons. I know many wonderful families who have adopted children and there seem to be challenges that occur almost like clockwork that happen with greater frequency with children who are adopted possibly because of the unknown factors that exist making a successful accommodation more difficult. And you see abrupt turn arounds such as the teenager who runs away and can't wait to move out only to return to marry and live in the home with their parents that they couldn't wait to leave. In the past, especially that long ago, there was not full disclosure of health histories like there is today it is possible that there may be some mental health or behavioral problems resulting her attitudes or actions, that cause him to hate her and the ground she walks on.

Apparently something changed in their relationship because he knew she had a history of giving up one child and a stepson prior to their child so he might have wondered about her ability to parent or sustain a relationship nor does this mean that women who give up a child because they are not ready or able to care for their child don't eventually make good parents. My point was that the mother being adopted was an issue for him related to her behavior, I was only looking for possible explaniations for what happened.

Relatioships involve more than one person and there is more to the story but the fact remains is what is in the best interest of the child and this child has expressed a desire to have a relationship with his mother, now.

 

[Lizzy77]

Quote

"First, the parents who raise their (adopted) child are THEIR parents. Not their "adoptive parents" The bioparents are bioparents, but no longer their parents. I am my kid's MOM, the only mom she's ever known, not her "adoptive mom".


Ummm Nextwife legally you are their "adoptive mom". That term doesn't make you any less of a parent, if anything it makes you more. I have an "adoptive mom" and I think she is the best thing since ice cream. By calling her my "adoptive mom" certainly doesn't make her any less of a mother, legally that is what she is

 

[midvt]

Darn my thread got stolen...


My comment about adoptive parents (hers) was only for history.. as I find it interesting she has never liked them (and visa versa) and now they protect her..

And no I did not know of her giving up a child until she was in a mental hospital just after the Birth of my Son.

 

[topsidder]

MIDVT,

I cannot believe these people!

Of course go for Child Support. It is your right and her responsibility. You SHOULD have as much chance of getting support as any women would in the same situation.

This sight is geared towards "men bashing". They seem to find excuses for woment NCP's not to pay support; but man, go back and look at some old posts and see what they haver recommended women do to the male NCP. It would curl your hair.

GO FOR IT. I am also interested in the outcome of your case. I follow sex discrimination cases pertaining to this issue alone. If you are the legal guardian, you are entitled to support REGARDLESS of your sex.

Good luck and PLEASE post the courts decision and case number if possible.

 

[midvt]

topsider, I am begining to see that for sure, brings back lots of memories of the lies an what women will do to lie and cheat because they are the MOMMY.... Silly but I am sure most are good and have good intentions.

I am trying to get an idea... I have this baby that has questions, and I do not know what to do.... It is interesting to see al types of views here....

Yes I know for a fact I COULD go after cs, however my thing is, is it the right thing to do for my Son... Or do I terminate her rights and end all my fears she MAY wake up and want to see him one day, then be gone again the next, in the mean time I am the backboard he falls on and then I pray it does not affect him forever.

But if I do our life may change, if she all of a sudden wanted to see the child IF SHE was made to pay... she is the type that would.

 

[Kristyna]

Yes, your son has the right to know his mom, even if it hurts him in the end. Otherwise he will hold it against you, the father who is trying to protect him.

My oldest daughter adored her father and continually tried for years to win his attention. It was painful when he let her down time after time, but she had to find out for herself.

Your son may also want to know his half brother. Some of my children were eager to meet their half siblings and others weren't. This may come at a later time, but be prepared. I encouraged their meeting, while their mother absolutely refused to let them meet. But you know kids, they talked online, on the phone, and eventually met in person.

And you have every right to ask for cs.