This is it!!

[LittleLisa]

De - To ALL those who are "thinking their own way", I did not ask for anyone's help in that thread, I was responding to what was "LEGAL IN DELAWARE". So Ive gone up against a few of you in my situations on MY THREADS, (by the way, Rx, thanks for the input) and as far as Im concerned YOU are the ones who automatically ASSUME what the person whos asking for help, is somehow in every-way either a druggie, alcholic, bad person, etc...you read "WHAT" you want to read, not THE whole story.

My daughter is 15, i raised her for 14 years, she had been wanting to live w/her dad for sometime now, I am on good terms with her father and his wife, his wife and I are best-friends (go figure), AS I SAID BEFORE, if she has a situation where she is wanting to live w/her dad, for whatever reason, WHICH I PLAYED NO NEGATIVE ROLE IN THAT DECISION, i wanted her to have the opportunity to go, Im not going to say NO to something she wanted to try. My daughter does not HATE me, shes mad because of how i interfered with her school, when i see shes failing subjects which could prevent her from moving on to high school, and her dad was not really following her grades, yes I freakin called, she would get in trouble, then be pissed at me, even though my intentions were to HELP her.

So thats why shes mad, I suggested summer/school for her Algebra, which was also "suggested" by her own school, she gets mad when she feels Im "interfering and trying to get her in trouble w/dad".

Also, just for your knowledge "which some of you really need", we never went in front of a JUDGE, it clearly stated MEDIATOR. Which means you are in mutual agreement, and dont have to go in front of a judge!!. Mouvei!!!!

So why doesnt everyone stop being so darn judgemental and really focus on the problems people have in here!!!

 

[MandyD]

Oh my, it appears that someone got up on the wrong side of the WEB this morning.

 

[LittleLisa]

Whatever

Oh my, it appears that someone got up on the wrong side of the WEB this morning.

.

No, i did not get up on wrong side, im sick of people who dont read the whole facts about someones threads, jump down their throats and pass unfair judgment on them...Thats all..This is pertained to certain people who know who they are, not meant to offend others.

 

[stealth2]

I'm still waiting for some sort of LEGAL citation about the DE LAW that you claim allows your daughter to choose where she lives. Not what someone told you, but black and white law which you said exists.

 

[casa]

De - To ALL those who are "thinking their own way", I did not ask for anyone's help in that thread, I was responding to what was "LEGAL IN DELAWARE". So Ive gone up against a few of you in my situations on MY THREADS, (by the way, Rx, thanks for the input) and as far as Im concerned YOU are the ones who automatically ASSUME what the person whos asking for help, is somehow in every-way either a druggie, alcholic, bad person, etc...you read "WHAT" you want to read, not THE whole story.

My daughter is 15, i raised her for 14 years, she had been wanting to live w/her dad for sometime now, I am on good terms with her father and his wife, his wife and I are best-friends (go figure), AS I SAID BEFORE, if she has a situation where she is wanting to live w/her dad, for whatever reason, WHICH I PLAYED NO NEGATIVE ROLE IN THAT DECISION, i wanted her to have the opportunity to go, Im not going to say NO to something she wanted to try. My daughter does not HATE me, shes mad because of how i interfered with her school, when i see shes failing subjects which could prevent her from moving on to high school, and her dad was not really following her grades, yes I freakin called, she would get in trouble, then be pissed at me, even though my intentions were to HELP her.

So thats why shes mad, I suggested summer/school for her Algebra, which was also "suggested" by her own school, she gets mad when she feels Im "interfering and trying to get her in trouble w/dad".

Also, just for your knowledge "which some of you really need", we never went in front of a JUDGE, it clearly stated MEDIATOR. Which means you are in mutual agreement, and dont have to go in front of a judge!!. Mouvei!!!!

So why doesnt everyone stop being so darn judgemental and really focus on the problems people have in here!!!

I am sorry if I am one of the people who offended you in the thread you are referring to.

I copy/pasted IN law on that thread, which clearly outlined what the poster needed to know in terms of a child's age to choose. I felt it was irresponsible of you to put your situation in that thread and insist legally a child can choose in your state & at what age. First of all, "legally" that is untrue. Second of all, your case was much much more complicated than the case of the poster. You made it 'seem' as though your child simply chose to live with the father and the court allowed her to. When, in reality- Your child changed custody on mutual consent of you & the father while you were battling both a serious physical illness and an addiction to Rx pain medication.

Furthermore, it's concerning how you give so many contradictions. One example is you saying You and your child's father are "best friends"...Yet he, and your daughter, are trying to Terminate your Parental Rights.

You say the "court" allowed your daughter to choose- When in reality you & your husband attended mediation and mutually agreed to the change in custody.

You say that there were no problems with your daughter in your home and have no idea why she hates you now...In essence totally disregarding what a child experiences when in a home with a very physically ill parent who is fighting an addiction to Rx painkillers. (No matter that your family Dr. prescribed them and you are now considering a lawsuit- the bottom line is it effected your child, and you avoid or deny that reality at every opportunity)

So~ If people here confronted you about your contradictions or asked questions about information you didn't include in your posts...You had a major hand in that.

The questions and opinions given by those here are the same ones you'd hear in court. You may not like them- but that doesn't mean they aren't valid.

 

[LittleLisa]

Tired of explaining myself

I was merely referring to DELAWARE, not any other state. My daughter since she was 1-1/2 has lived with me, when she was 4, I met my current husband, whom they both adored eachother, until she turned around 12ish. Then, the "step" parenting role he played, she realized she could turn around and say "Your not my dad". I did the same thing to my stepdad as well, they all do at some point. Her father and I did not get along until he re-married, we have all been very close until about 3 months ago. Her step-mom and I are the best of friends and even she did not agree on how he was "dealing" with the tipical adolecent.

She was failing, along w/other issues, as her mother, I got involved esp w/schooling. And if I brought up to her dad that she was failing, he would ground her and she would call me and be mad that I told him. But way before my drug addiction even came into the picture, she frequently asked if she would ever be allowed to live w/her dad. I said when you feel you want to live with him, you let me know. I WOULD NOT deny that to her. As far as those of you that think she just up'd and left because of my addiction IS FALSE. WHen I was in the hospital, i was actually already scheduled to be there for my ovaries to be removed due to a cyst.

As far as "contradictions", my situation can not be typed out word for word.
Her dad and I got along fine until she started disrespecting me on the telephone, by cussing, screaming, etc. I also stated that I am best friends with his wife, not him. She is totalling behind me as far as punishments, sticking to them, etc. where he tends to be a little too lax and gives in to her.

As far as terminating my rights, yes that is what she said she wanted becuase "I am always in her business trying to get her in trouble". During that conversation, she used the F bomb quite frequently, and her father was in the background. Hello???? IF that had been me, and she was speaking to him like that, well, lets just say it would not happen. If thats how he installs family values then his other 2 kids who are 6 months and 3, then they can F bomb their kindergarten teacher as far as I can see.

As far as court, we had a mediation hearing which she came to, and after he filed for the resident custody ( for her to go to school there), the mediator gave her a chance to say how she felt. And for instance, I replied I would like to have her 4 weeks of the summer, either broken down, or a month, she said she did not want that, so the mediator took that out of the petition.

THe problems here at home started WAY before my addiction even began, she was involved with a "wrong" group of friends, lying, stealing, being in cars w/17 year old guys. Well guess what..that was NOT acceptable to me or my husband, so when she got grounded, she always ran to her dad, and bad-mouthed my husband. He is very old-school, ALWAYS wanted what was best for her, and she resented his restrictions and rules as well as mine. Thats when she decided that I was not on "her side, I didnt stick up for her. If she did something i believed that was acceptable, things were fine. But when I stood behind my husband and enforced what he said or he enforced what i would say, thats when she would get pissed.

So maybe now, but probably not, you may get a more clear picture of this. Iam tired of defending myself to people I do not even know. I know what I did, I take the responsibility and my life is moving on just fine. I still love my daughter and she knows my door is ALWAYS open and will continue to stay open.

 

[Silverplum]

Iam tired of defending myself to people I do not even know.

Then don't.

 

[stealth2]

I was merely referring to DELAWARE, not any other state.

Yes, and this is what I've been waiting on:

Well now, since he has "Residential" custody, we still also have joint, the roll was just reversed. I got what he had and except me paying him child support, weve kept her on our med/dental ins. This was agreeable by both of us. However, I can not FORCE her to see me, nor FORCE her to come visit, (we live about 38 miles apart). This is Delaware's custody rules and thats where the age of "14" comes into play.

I'd like to see a citation for that. Thanks.

 

[ENASNI]

Then don't.

Amen!
I will take some pudding now, Plum.