Tired of paying support to a crazy girlfriend

[newlywed03]

Shubee - he's not paying "HER" support. He's paying support for his SON, and if his son is a "stranger" - well it's just as much your man's fault as it is moms.

It's funny that you are ranting about her being a psycho, yet he was the one who obviously wasn't fullfilling his legal (and moral) obligation to pay support, otherwise he wouldn't owe back money!

Is he really upset that he doesn't get to see his son, or is it that he's just tired of paying out something designed to keep a roof over the child he didn't mind creating but apparently doesn't want to take responsibility for?

After all, the title of your thread WAS "Tired of paying support to a crazy girlfriend"

You've been given your advice - unless the x has someone willing to adopt, you and your hubby are S.O.L. Maybe it's time that he step up & help parent his child, he might be surprised to find he has a great kid out there who really needs his Daddy.

 

[AHA]

Then I will expect to never see you post any kind of complaint or opinion in posts where a single parent is telling their story of how hard it is for them to feed their kids without any kind of financial support from the other parent!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm sure you'd be singing another tune if you had ever been forced to raise kids without any financial help from the other RESPONSIBLE party. Hell, what's next, let the little kids fend for themselves and provide their own income??????? UNPROTECTED SEX=PAY FOR THE CONSEQUENCES!!!!!!!!

 

[Ambr]

Then I will expect to never see you post any kind of complaint or opinion in posts where a single parent is telling their story of how hard it is for them to feed their kids without any kind of financial support from the other parent!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm sure you'd be singing another tune if you had ever been forced to raise kids without any financial help from the other RESPONSIBLE party. Hell, what's next, let the little kids fend for themselves and provide their own income??????? UNPROTECTED SEX=PAY FOR THE CONSEQUENCES!!!!!!!!

I can't believe that I am going to get involved in this one, but.....

That argument goes both directions. It should be an AUTOMATIC understanding (FOR MALE AND FEMALE). If you are going to have sex, you take the chance that you:

(a) might possibly run the risk of providing emotional and financial support for the child you may create
(b) might get something that AJAX won't take off
(c) could possibly be sentencing yourself to death

 

[Shay-Pari'e]

I can't believe that I am going to get involved in this one, but.....

That argument goes both directions. It should be an AUTOMATIC understanding (FOR MALE AND FEMALE). If you are going to have sex, you take the chance that you:

(a) might possibly run the risk of providing emotional and financial support for the child you may create
(b) might get something that AJAX won't take off
(c) could possibly be sentencing yourself to death

I don't see where AHA singled out Male/Female.

 

[AHA]

Then I will expect to never see you post any kind of complaint or opinion in posts where a single parent is telling their story of how hard it is for them to feed their kids without any kind of financial support from the other parent!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm sure you'd be singing another tune if you had ever been forced to raise kids without any financial help from the other RESPONSIBLE party. Hell, what's next, let the little kids fend for themselves and provide their own income??????? UNPROTECTED SEX=PAY FOR THE CONSEQUENCES!!!!!!!!

I hope it was obvious who my reply was directed to. Anyone who doesn't believe in supporting their own kids needs some serious "mental" help.

 

[Ambr]

I don't see where AHA singled out Male/Female.

I edited my post to add that MALE AND FEMALE part into it. I didn't want to make it sound biased.

I was trying to be good.

 

[Shay-Pari'e]

I edited my post to add that MALE AND FEMALE part into it. I didn't want to make it sound biased.

I was trying to be good.

No problem, I was just pointing out that AHA wasn't being biased.

 

[StepmomsAreBest]

No, YOU do not get it. YOU have not gotten it, and YOU will never get it. All you do is spew your personal agenda on every thread because you have been told that your husband has rights, but does not seek them. He's given up remember?

You really have a warped sense of reality. The statement you made about motivating someone to pay support for a stranger, was really unreal.

Did you even read the first post?

You have no clue
I have no agenda. Unlike many of you CPs.
For your information, my husband is out busting his ass to support his children. He does not have the time or the money to sit in court all day fighting this witch. She can either grow up and let him see his children that HE helped create or she can do it herself. HER choice. NOT his.

 

[Shay-Pari'e]

You have no clue
I have no agenda. Unlike many of you CPs. I am not a CP.or a NCP
For your information, my husband is out busting his ass to support his children. He does not have the time or the money to sit in court all day fighting this witch. His fault.

She can either grow up and let him see his children that HE helped create or she can do it herself. No, you and he can grow up, forget about her. You can butt out as you are a legal stranger. He can choose to be proactive and get what is legally his. He's had seven years.

HER choice. NOT his. Wrong, she is not making his choice.

 

[StepmomsAreBest]

So you're not a CP or a NCP? Well that explains it all
Let me repeat......You'll never understand what it is like until you've been there.

 

[gatorguy3]

he doesn't see the child because of the crazy mother what kind of crap is that? if he would pay his **** on time she wouldn't have to keep bothering him for payments. nothing should stop a real man from seeing his child. not even the mother. i've been the child in this kind of situation and now i'm a mother of this kind of situation shame on the daddy shame shame shame for not seeing his kid and blameing the mother the kid will grow up and realize what is going on and who do you think the kid is going to blame?

I think that the above statements as well as those made by AHA are pretty far fetched and very ignorant. You both are living in a little bubble if you believe CP's should have no blame for the children being used as pawns and used furniture.

I agree that the NCP should fight, as many are doing, but at what cost? They financially ruin themselves. The only ones who win are overpriced attorneys and the court system.

 

[SueBee1062]

LIFE'S NATURAL LAWS (POST DIVORCE, VISITATIONS, CHILD SUPPORT COLLECTING, ETC.)
------------------------------------
1. For every "psycho ex wife CP" or "whacko mom CP" there's an "insufferable deadbeat dad NCP." There just is.

2. BOTH mom and dad are financially, physically, and emotionally responsible for raising their children. Even if 4 countries and 2 oceans separate one parent from the child. Even if the child thinks mom or dad is scum of the earth and never wants to see mom or dad again, mom and dad aren't off the hook. Even if someone lied about birth control, got pregnant on the sly, and "trapped" the dad...welcome to parenthood.

3. The courts DO lean heavily in favor of mothers, especially CP mothers. It's the way our society is. It's not fair and I've witnessed judges turn a deaf ear on the NCP dad standing there explaining his broke position in life and the explanation happens to be legit and valid. Judges don't care. Significant change in the bias toward moms will take blood, sweat and tears on someone's part, but the desire for that change must be as focused and as 110% desired as, for example, the Women's Movement, Women's Sufferage, abolishing slavery, etc.

4. There will be little, if any, sympathy for any parent who is constantly in arrearage or tries to weasel out of paying support. Just pay it and focus on how lucky you are that your children are alive and here and you were fortunate enough to be a parent. During these angry moments when you feel ripped off, imagine the vast sadness and depression of many couples who biologically cannot conceive children and can't afford to adopt children, etc.
You just may have someone to take care of you in your old age if you are generous with your kids today. Try to treasure your kids, not resent them for being expensive. They are expensive when they live with you full time also, not just expensive in the form of paying support. Kids are expensive. Period.

5. If some crazy CP is preventing you big-time from seeing your kids or calling them, at least write them 1 or 2 letters per week. They will know you love them. They believe you don't love them when you aren't in their lives physically, or via phone calls. They don't understand obstacles, they just know you aren't there and they miss you and hurt deep inside.

6. There's never enough money to go around. The CP needs money, the kids need money, and the NCP needs money. Child support payments ARE often high and not easy to pay every month. Raising children as a single parent is VERY expensive and the CP NEEDS regular support payments FOR THE KIDS. Quite often the person who is bitching and moaning about having to pay or bitching and moaning about not receiving enough support, has a valid point. The mom or CP isn't ALWAYS right and the dad or NCP isn't always a hateful, cheap bass-turd.
Everyone has a point in some way and to some degree.

BOTTOM LINE: Love your kids physically and financially. Pay your support on time. Try to stay out of court.

 

[StepmomsAreBest]

Stepmom, WTF is up with your first response? What blue cloud did you pull that out of?

While I understand your later rant, since these two were never married, the question needs to be asked if they ever even filed formal paperwork for visitation/custody.

In regards to your one rant...unfortunately, there are way too many CP's out there who play these games from the NCP (if you read my situation, I feel I fall into that) & use the kids as a pawn or a simply a paycheck. These CP's play these games (which they are!) knowing that they WILL get support -- no matter what. This is why the NCP needs to file for visitation and/or custody ASAP, so when the CP pulls this crap, then you have a legal order that is being violated.

It's garbage like this that I am really started to think about getting motivated to start a change in the child support laws. CP's who play this game shouldn't be allowed to -- PERIOD! You sit on your duff for years and wait, then you have some answering to do as to WHY you waited so long. It shouldn't be an automatic paycheck because "you need money" or whatever your excuse is for waiting for so many years. You actually have to prove you couldn't locate him or whatever your excuse is.
Acts like that by the CP are not with the best interest of the child in mind, but they're own. Unfortunately, since child support reform is not a sexy issue, lawmakers most likely won't touch it because of repercussions. And if it's apparent by many of the peoples anger-and biased-filled threads on here. I might have a slight bias towards this...but I CAN see both sides of an issue.

Unfortunately, the only people who get rich off of this are the lawyers and court system. The lawyers love this stuff and are very reluctant to get involved in worthwhile cases. Mine is proof. The "attorneypages" link on here is basically a joke. I've heard NOT ONE response to mine. NOT ONE! If you don't have the money, there's basically no help for you. Nice system we have going. That's why I spend alot of time doing as much research as possible to educate myself and bring the tools I need to defend myself as much as possible.
You should do the same, Stepmom

Use your brain and read back through the first few replies. It shouldn't be that hard to figure out what I was saying in my first reply.
See, you said you "spend ALOT of time" doing research, etc. My point is...WHY should you have to spend what little time you have on earth researching stuff and sitting in court fighting what is probably going to be a losing battle anyway? If the CP (those who are playing games and keeping the kids away) would just grow up and stop using the children as pawns, the NCP could be spending ALOT of time with their CHILDREN instead of spending it with their nose in a book trying to fight for every last second of time with their own flesh and blood.
IMO (and probably alot of others....except for the CPs who just want child support so they have a "weekly paycheck") child support should be done away with and everyone should have shared parenting where everything is 50/50. Except, of course, in cases of child abuse or molestation.
Notice alot of PAS cases happen where the NCP has remarried/had more kids, etc? Wonder why that is?????????

 

[jennifer6219]

i agree kudos to the ncp who want to see their children and pay their child support the responsible ones shouldn't have to fight to see their kids because people want to play games all that does is hurt the children. shame shame to the ones who don't pay who come one here looking for loop holes to get out of paying. and blame the mother or the cp for being crazy like the one who started this thread. children are innocent i wish people would remember the children are beautiful and innocent and want to see their child and love that child no matter what the obstacles and i wish people would stop playing games and hurting the children. but wishes are just not granted sometimes