To Anath614

[BL]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?

unlock your post ,so you can receive advice.

 

[Just Blue]

Can baby's Father stop me from moving within the state after the baby is born - NY
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? NY

I am currently 7 months pregnant and not with my baby's father. We were trying to work things out but it is just not going to happen, he constantly talks down to me and tries to verbal intimidate me.

I am currently residing in a small 2 bedroom apartment with my 15yr old son, which I rent and pay all the utilities and expenses on. Obviously this small apartment is not going to work for long once the baby arrives. I cannot afford a bigger apartment in this area, I can also not afford day care so that I can return to work after the baby is born. My sister lives upstate, about 4 hrs away, she is getting married and will be moving to her husband's home but she has invited me to come live in her home. Her house is a three bedroom house which is obviously better and will cost me next to nothing in rent. I will also have family support there which I do not have here, they have already offered to watch the baby so I can work or go back to school or both.

I thought of moving before the baby is born but do not want to do that because I have my ob, a specialist, and a hematologist I am currently seeing here and feel it is safest for my health and the babies to be here for delivery.

My baby's father does not have a home or apt here, he rents a room in a house. Also his schedule is very unstable because he is an emt and volunteer firefighter. During a couple of emergency situations already he has told me that he cannot just leave work no matter what the emergency is, which I get but that seems to restrict his ability to respond to needs with the baby as well.

My question is can the babies father stop me from moving to my sister's after the baby is born? Should I go to court here to establish custody first or wait until I get to the new county? What are the chances that the court will give me sole legal and physical custody?

 

[Silverplum]

He's not responding to *your emergencies* by leaving work. If there's an actual emergency with one's CHILD, one may and certainly does leave work.

 

[Ohiogal]

What is with all these women expecting that they will be awarded SOLE LEGAL AND PHYSICAL CUSTODY. That happens less and less now. Good grief.

 

[BL]

You won't be barred from moving within State. There is no orders yet.

You will not be awarded sole anything.

Even in any orders , language if requested would normally be ,neither parent is to permantly remove the child from the State without the other's written permission.

 

[Ladyback1]

He's not responding to *your emergencies* by leaving work. If there's an actual emergency with one's CHILD, one may and certainly does leave work.

If Dad is an EMT/Firefighter, he does have restrictions on when he can leave work for a personal emergency (whether it's a truly personal emergency or for a child or what have you). In fact notifying him of an emergency can be difficult at time (can't really take personal calls or texts while working at an accident scene or fire, ya know...) Unfortunately, that is a downside of the profession.

Not that I'm disagreeing or agreeing with Mom (or you). But, Mom does have a valid point.

 

[Anath614]

Was this for legal advice or an attack

First off he is the one who told me that he wouldn't be able to leave, even for emergencies with the baby. Even said he may not be able to leave when I go into labor. As for "my emergencies" as you put it one example was when my brother was shot and killed and another was me bleeding during pregnancy. He was not on calls at the either time.

Secondly I never said I expected sole custody I asked what the odds were.

 

[Zigner]

First off he is the one who told me that he wouldn't be able to leave, even for emergencies with the baby. Even said he may not be able to leave when I go into labor. As for "my emergencies" as you put it one example was when my brother was shot and killed and another was me bleeding during pregnancy. He was not on calls at the either time.

Secondly I never said I expected sole custody I asked what the odds were.

Those aren't his emergencies. Not disagreeing with the fact that he may have trouble getting away from work...just making the point.

 

[Silverplum]

First off he is the one who told me that he wouldn't be able to leave, even for emergencies with the baby. Even said he may not be able to leave when I go into labor. As for "my emergencies" as you put it one example was when my brother was shot and killed and another was me bleeding during pregnancy. He was not on calls at the either time.

Secondly I never said I expected sole custody I asked what the odds were.

None of that overcomes his fatherhood, once legally established.

We don't give odds.

 

[Silverplum]

Those aren't his emergencies. Not disagreeing with the fact that he may have trouble getting away from work...just making the point.

Heart surgeons can't run off whenever an(other) emergency arises. I've never heard of that as a "reason" for withholding custody or parenting time.

 

[BL]

New York State is fair at giving equal rights if requested . As I said when Custody/Visitations are brought before the court ,if requested that neither party remove the child from NYS permanantly without written permission from the other ,it will most likely be granted.Which means ,moves within the State would not be considered contemp,but any with-holding of visitations would be.

 

[LdiJ]

First off he is the one who told me that he wouldn't be able to leave, even for emergencies with the baby. Even said he may not be able to leave when I go into labor. As for "my emergencies" as you put it one example was when my brother was shot and killed and another was me bleeding during pregnancy. He was not on calls at the either time.

Secondly I never said I expected sole custody I asked what the odds were.

It honestly would be best to move before the baby is born. I realize that you don't want to do that, but he absolutely cannot do anything to stop you from moving before the baby is born.

 

[BL]

It honestly would be best to move before the baby is born. I realize that you don't want to do that, but he absolutely cannot do anything to stop you from moving before the baby is born.

Well of course,then the filings and orders would have to be made in her county.

She indicated she does not want to until baby is born.

 

[gam]

Dads job is unlikely to prevent him from getting joint legal custody and parenting time. It also does not prevent him from having a form of physical custody. All kinds of professions out there that the individuals can't leave work for emergencies, yet they have either full or joint legal custody. Emergencies including medical can be handled without actually being there.

 

[LdiJ]

Dads job is unlikely to prevent him from getting joint legal custody and parenting time. It also does not prevent him from having a form of physical custody. All kinds of professions out there that the individuals can't leave work for emergencies, yet they have either full or joint legal custody. Emergencies including medical can be handled without actually being there.

I agree that dad can get parenting time or partial custody, but it really would be difficult for a firefighter to have full custody if they are not married...or don't have available backup, because of their strange hours.

I found this description of the two most typical types of firefighter schedules:

24 Hours On and 48 Hours Off

Most cities in the United States employ the 24 hours on and 48 hours off scheduling system for firefighters. This schedule requires firefighters to remain in a fire station for a 24-hour period and respond to fire calls at any time during this period. This shift is followed by 48 hours off, after which another 24-hour shift is required. Typically, this results in a firefighter working more than 50 hours per week. An average of ten of these 24-hour shifts are usually worked each month. An additional day off every month is arranged in order to comply with the Fair Labor Standards Act.

Shift Cycles

Though not as common as the 24-hour shifts scheduling system, some municipalities require that firefighters work for three to four days in a row. Shifts are generally during the daytime and are between eight and 12 hours per day. This schedule is followed by 12- to 14-hour night shifts for three to four days. Then, firefighters have three or four consecutive days off before the cycle begins again. Regardless of the type of shift worked, firefighters can expect to be scheduled on any of the year's 365 days.

Both of those would make primary or full custody quite difficult.