Overview of Facts
THIS IS NOT INTENDED TO CRITISIZE MY X.
Imagine if your child is possibly being hurt and you can't protect or help them. Imaging your being severed from them completely. Imagine your the person being investigated for abusing your child.
This is the other side of the pain I live. This is why I can't quit on them. They need their Daddy. My X has demanded I undergo a psychological evaluation to get the help I need, and to also decide if the children should be allowed to have a relationship with their father? She is so worried about me having contact, yet this is the person she chose to parent our sons with.
THIS INFORMATION IS PUBLIC RECORD
I'm posting his background to better describe his mental state.
Here's my questions.
Should I have a right to be alarmed?
Do you think my X needs a Psych Eval?
The attachment bond between father and sons has been damaged. How do I rebuild what my X has destroyed after I get contact?
This is an actual arrest report and criminal history, of the boyfriend of my X who has been living with my sons. This person has lived with my sons since March 2000.
Nov 1999 X left to live with boyfriend
Nov 99- March 2000 X spends little time with kids
I beg her to see them on Christmas. X goes camping with boyfriend and says "They're your responsibility, NOT hers"
My X hid our sons from March 2000 until August 1st 2000 (our divorce) I suffered until court. The Judge demanded my X bring the kids to me after court. I had them for 24 hours and then never seen them again. I have NO CONTACT yet this person lives with them.
SUMMARY:
Arrestee threatened to kill his wife while pointing a crossbow and arrow at her, intentionally placing her in fear of imminent serious physical injury. Arrestee also poked his wife in her back with the tip of the arrow.
NARRATIVE:
On Sunday, September 19,1999, at approximately 0616 hours, Deputies Shaw, Valdez and I responded to 6661 Monument Drive, Grants Pass, Josephine County, Or for a report of a disturbance. We were told a husband had threatened to kill his wife with a crossbow. While en route, we were advised the male subject involved had left the residence and was armed with the crossbow.
When Deputies Shaw, Valdez and I arrived at the incident location, we searched the immediate area of the residence in an attempt to locate the male involved. After searching the area and unable to locate him, I contacted the the complainant, Melissa Bigelow at the residence. When I first contacted Melissa, I observed a crossbow lying on the floor of a covered porch area. Melissa told me the crossbow I had located was the one her husband had threatened her with. The crossbow was secured in Deputy Shaws vehicle.
Melissa told me she and her husband sleep in separate beds and earlier in the morning, her husband, Ronald Bigelow, had entered her bedroom. When Ronald entered her room he woke her up and pointed a crossbow at her and threatened to kell her with it. Melissa said the crossbow did have an arrow, or a "bolt", but the drawstring for the bow was not pulled back.
Melissa told me Ronald is diagnosed as bi-polar and manic-depressant, and possibly has other psychological problems. She said Ronald is taking several medications and had been drinking heavily during the night. Melissa believed Ronald may have possibly gone to a neighbor's residence at 6575 Monument Drive. After speaking with Melissa briefly, Deputies Shaw, Valdez and I went to 6575 Monument Drive and contacted Ronald Bigelow at the residence.
When I contacted Ronald, I placed him into custody. Ronald demanded to know why he was being arrested. I told him at the time he was under arrest for a warrant which had been issued out of Gold Beach. The warrant had been confirmed by the Josephine County Sheriff's Office. As I spoke with Ronald, I detected the strong odor of alcohol coming from his breath. After placing him into custody, I responded back to 6661 Monument Drive and contacted Melissa Bigelow.
I advised Melissa Bigelow I would be recording our conversation and she stated she understood. The following is a synopsis of statements made by Melissa Bigelow. All details of the conversation may, or may not be present in these writings. Therefore, it is suggested to any interested parties to this matter should review the tape recording for accuracy and detail.
Melissa told me she and her husband had been having problems and they had been sleeping in separate rooms for some time. She had been out the previous night and had gotten home late. At approximately 0600 hours, Ronald walked into her room and woke her up. When she woke up, Ronald asked her "Who are you ****ing?" Melissa replied "I am not ****ing anybody." Ronald then said "**** you" several times and "I was going to kill you last night."
Melissa told me when Ronald said that, she thought it was an idle threat and did not take it seriously. She did not "realize what kind of state of mind he was in until he came back in with the crossbow." Ronald then left the room and returned again less than five minutes later. Melissa said he was gone long enough to retrieve the crossbow and come back to her room.
Melissa said when Ronald came back into the room, she was laying on her stomach, in her bed. Ronald entered the room and said "Do you want to see what I have for you?" Melissa told him "no" and asked him to leave her alone. Ronald then said "This is what I had for you." and poked Melissa in the middle of the back with the tip of the arrow. Melissa saw an arrow in the crossbow, but it was not cocked because the arrow was not straight.
Melissa said she knew it was difficult to load the crossbow and the tension on the drawstring is heavy. Melissa said it appeared Ronald appeared to be delusional and was afraid he would attempt to harm her. Melissa was scared and concerned she would not have enough time to gather their three children together and get into the car before Ronald had loaded the crossbow.
Melissa said she was able to lead Ronald out of the bedroom, through the living room and into the kitchen area. Ronald continued to threaten to kill her. Ronald also stated he was going to thow her body into a neighbor's worm bed. While in the kitchen, Melissa was able to grab the arrow and throw it into the covered porch area. She then told Ronald she was calling 9-1-1 and he left out the back door.
Melissa told me during the incident, their son Daniel was sleeping with her, in her bed. The other two children, Cody and Gabriel had been asleep on the couch in the living room. Melissa told me Ronald had taken his medication and had been drinking heavily since 1400 hours the previous day. She believed he had drank twelve 12 ounce cans of "Red Wolf Beer" and had also consumed a flask of tequila during the same time.
After speaking with Melissa, I contacted her son Gabriel regarding an incident Melissa told me had occurred the prior day. Gabriel told me one of his cats had jumped on his back the other day and had hurt him. When his "papa" (Ronald) had found out the cat had hurt Gabriel, he told Gabriel he was going to kill the cat. Ronald then asked if he was ready to drink the blood from the cat.
After speaking with Melissa and Gabriel, I went back to my patrol vehicle where Ronald Bigelow was sitting and being watched by Deputy Shaw. I advised Ronald Bigelow of his Miranda rights and transported him to the Josephine County Jail. While en route to the jail, Ronald requested an employee with Mental Health be standing by because he was thinking of killing himself.
Arriving at the jail, I asked Ronald if he would be willing to talk to me regarding an incident which had occurred at his residence earlier in the morning. Ronald agreed he would and stated he understood our conversation was going to be recorded.
Ronald told me he and his wife had been in an argument earlier in the morning. The argument stemmed over the fact because for the second time in a week his wife had not returned home until after 0200 hours. He admitted to having a crossbow in his possession while he was arguing with his wife. Ronald admitted there was an arrow in the crossbow, but the string was not pulled back. Ronald denied poking Melissa in the back with the arrow, but admitted to poking her with his finger.
Ronald told me he never threatened his wife and did not recall ever saying he was going to kill Melissa. Ronald said he had dreamed about killing Melissa and "dreamed about finding her with a lover and torturing her." After Melissa told him she could not stand him and did not like being around him, he left the residence.
Ronald told me he is diagnosed as bi-polar and attention deficit/hyperactive disorder and is on numerous medications. Ronald Bigelow was lodged in the Josephine County Jail for Domestic Felony Menacing and for Reckless Endangering.
Photographs were taken of the crossbow and arrow and have been placed into the Josephine County Sheriff's Office Photo Lab. The crossbow and arrow has been placed into the Josephine County Sheriff's Office Evidence Locker. The micro cassette with the recorded statements of Melissa and Ronald Bigelow have been placed into the Josephine County Sheriff's Office Evidence Locker.
CASE STATUS:
Closed by arrest.
I bet those boys end up hating her for what she is doing. I have seen this happen so many times, they will have nothing to do with her when they get old enough to understand what is going on. She will lose them, I bet on that.
