Travel Expenses Per CO....How to Divy....

[Lils]

What is the name of your state? GA

Hey gang....

Well, in anticipation of the next challenge with my BF's ex, I'm going to try and get some answers about how this is going to go down...

For some of my BF's visitation, including this visit from the 26th - 2nd, it was court ordered that he and his ex "share equally in the transportation expenses of the two children".

Here's how it's going down:

His ex now resides in NJ with the kids.....but, for the holiday, she took the 5 year old out of school on the 17th and flew to her parent's condo in FL (also, a 14 month old is involved too). The children and his ex are currently in FL. On December 26, she is DRIVING from FL to GA to drop the two kids off at my BF's at 6:00 pm. He has them from December 26 - January 2nd.

On January 2nd, my BF is flying with his 5 year old and 14 month old back to NJ and then he will be flying back to GA on his own. I understand that the airfare for himself is not included in this, he is paying this on his own. He has his two children's airfare on his credit card.

My questions (I know, I try and be succinct, it's hard though):

1. He is not responsible for paying for the airfare of his children from NJ to FLORIDA, correct, being that it is of his ex's free will that they went to FL on a vacation, that has nothing to do with his visitation, right? Therefore, I'm to understand (please correct me if I'm wrong), that the cost of gasoline will be her portion of the expenses??

2. Do they both have to show proof of their expenses? Should he just believe her if she says the cost was $125 (or whatever she tells him)?? Should they base it on mileage at a standard pay rate of 36.5 cents per mile? Neither of them trust one another, so my BF is assuming she is going to screw him over....

This is the first time with splitting expenses, and we want to set a precedent. This is so soon after the custody decision, nerves are raw, nobody trusts one another, so we just want to be very careful and precise about everything.

I appreciate any responses....

Lils

 

[snodderly]

1.Are you asking if he gets out of paying for gas just because she chose to go visit her family in Florida? If she had stayed in NJ and the kids had, had to fly down to GA, then he would have had to split the cost of the airline ticket right? Seems to me you would be better off being glad that all you have to pay is half of the cost for gasoline. Instead you seem to want to focus in on the fact that she went to Florida and, in your mind, that makes her some sort of evil malcontent. Have a feeling, after reading your other threads that this woman could do no right in your eyes.

2.Neither of them trust each other, they are in a bad situation where someone should be trying to act as an adult and make the best of it but it seems with a third party (that would be you) interferance, things are only getting more stirred up. You seem to sit around and project some terrrible wrong that this woman is going to commit. You were sure she was going to deny him visitation, that didn't come to fruition. Now you are sure she is going to try and screw him out of money by charging him to much for gas?

HE should request a receipt for gas and pay her half. HE should then offer her a receipt as far as his travel expenses and request half from her. At this point that is all HE can do. If she gives HIM a problem then HE should document her refusal and take her back to court.

YOU are way too involved in the legal issues between this woman and her ex husband. YOU are trying to exert control and influence in a situation that is none of YOUR business. Maybe you have attached yourself to a man who needs a woman to do battle for him or maybe you are just the kind of woman who likes the chaos of involving herself in other people's lives. Who knows!! One day this man's ex wife and the mother of his children may tell you to get your nose out of her business and she would have every right to.

You have a BF that you have never been intimate with and you seem to be way, way, way emotionally involved in this situation. Heck my ex husband's wife doesn't come to court with him, doesn't express an opinion, doesn't sit around on message boards trying to gather information so they can set a precedent and I'm sure she loves him very much. I'm also sure she hates my guts and thinks her husband was royally screwed by the system. She knows her place and that seems to be something you don't have a grasp on. Why not get out of the middle of this man, his children and his ex-wife and let them deal with their own problems for a change. You never know, the two of them might manage to gain some trust and faith in the other to do what is right for the kids.

 

[styl4u64]

It seems there is too much 'precedence' involving the amounts spent on your BF and his ex during the children's visitations. The energy spent trying to calculate to the 'penny' here is becoming down right petty and insignificant to validate any indiscrepencies involving your BF's ex. Your BF should not have two children billed on his credit card as the 14 month old is considered a 'lap passenger' and is not charged as a child of age, 2 yrs. is a paying passenger and under that age is not charged. It seems there is some extreme calculating here that YOU are working on to deem this unfair. The question I have is that you are questioning the literal dollar amounts for your BF and it seems YOU are the one that isn't happy with the arrangements. You also spoke of a finalized custody hearing and it sounds like things didn't come out best for your BF, please let us know if this is something that happened so we may better understand your distress about the costs of travel in order to meet and exchange the children for your BF's visitation. Maybe it would be easier to agree or help in this situation if us readers would be able to understand all the circumstances. Looking forward to your replies, and good luck in helping 'us' understand the full story.

 

[snodderly]

styl4u64, do a search of her past posts. She has fully explained the situation regarding custody and everything else. I'm sure reading her other posts will help you see just how involved and how much energy this woman is putting into every aspect of her boyfriend's legal issues with his ex wife.

 

[Shay-Pari'e]

What is the name of your state? GA

Hey gang....

Well, in anticipation of the next challenge with my BF's ex, I'm going to try and get some answers about how this is going to go down...

For some of my BF's visitation, including this visit from the 26th - 2nd, it was court ordered that he and his ex "share equally in the transportation expenses of the two children".

Here's how it's going down:

His ex now resides in NJ with the kids.....but, for the holiday, she took the 5 year old out of school on the 17th and flew to her parent's condo in FL (also, a 14 month old is involved too). The children and his ex are currently in FL. On December 26, she is DRIVING from FL to GA to drop the two kids off at my BF's at 6:00 pm. He has them from December 26 - January 2nd.

On January 2nd, my BF is flying with his 5 year old and 14 month old back to NJ and then he will be flying back to GA on his own. I understand that the airfare for himself is not included in this, he is paying this on his own. He has his two children's airfare on his credit card.

My questions (I know, I try and be succinct, it's hard though):

1. He is not responsible for paying for the airfare of his children from NJ to FLORIDA, correct, being that it is of his ex's free will that they went to FL on a vacation, that has nothing to do with his visitation, right? Therefore, I'm to understand (please correct me if I'm wrong), that the cost of gasoline will be her portion of the expenses??

2. Do they both have to show proof of their expenses? Should he just believe her if she says the cost was $125 (or whatever she tells him)?? Should they base it on mileage at a standard pay rate of 36.5 cents per mile? Neither of them trust one another, so my BF is assuming she is going to screw him over....

This is the first time with splitting expenses, and we want to set a precedent. This is so soon after the custody decision, nerves are raw, nobody trusts one another, so we just want to be very careful and precise about everything.

I appreciate any responses....

Lils

I have not had time to read your other posts, but clearly this is a situation for your boyfriend to be asking the courts.

Why are you posting and not your boyfriend? The only "WE" here is between him and his X.

There is no "WE" when it comes to you and your boyfriend in a court of law. Even if he were married to you, there would be no "WE".

Back off, it is none of your business.

 

[LdiJ]

What is the name of your state? GA

Hey gang....

Well, in anticipation of the next challenge with my BF's ex, I'm going to try and get some answers about how this is going to go down...

For some of my BF's visitation, including this visit from the 26th - 2nd, it was court ordered that he and his ex "share equally in the transportation expenses of the two children".

Here's how it's going down:

His ex now resides in NJ with the kids.....but, for the holiday, she took the 5 year old out of school on the 17th and flew to her parent's condo in FL (also, a 14 month old is involved too). The children and his ex are currently in FL. On December 26, she is DRIVING from FL to GA to drop the two kids off at my BF's at 6:00 pm. He has them from December 26 - January 2nd.

On January 2nd, my BF is flying with his 5 year old and 14 month old back to NJ and then he will be flying back to GA on his own. I understand that the airfare for himself is not included in this, he is paying this on his own. He has his two children's airfare on his credit card.

My questions (I know, I try and be succinct, it's hard though):

1. He is not responsible for paying for the airfare of his children from NJ to FLORIDA, correct, being that it is of his ex's free will that they went to FL on a vacation, that has nothing to do with his visitation, right? Therefore, I'm to understand (please correct me if I'm wrong), that the cost of gasoline will be her portion of the expenses??

2. Do they both have to show proof of their expenses? Should he just believe her if she says the cost was $125 (or whatever she tells him)?? Should they base it on mileage at a standard pay rate of 36.5 cents per mile? Neither of them trust one another, so my BF is assuming she is going to screw him over....

This is the first time with splitting expenses, and we want to set a precedent. This is so soon after the custody decision, nerves are raw, nobody trusts one another, so we just want to be very careful and precise about everything.

I appreciate any responses....

Lils

Ok...here is my opinion. She is delivering the kids to him at her cost. He is returning the kids to her at his cost. That is a reasonable "split". Any excess cost to her is due to her Florida vacation, not the children's visitation.

However, if you are hoping that she is going to have to pay some of the airfare your husband is spending to return them (because her gas from Florida to Georgia is less than the airfare), then I sincerely doubt that your husband would get anywhere with that.

Splitting the travel costs doesn't normally mean that you add everything up and divide it in half. That can be the method used when you are purchasing a round trip airline ticket, however its also perfectly acceptable for one parent to choose their method of providing their half of the transportion.

 

[haiku]

Ok...here is my opinion. She is delivering the kids to him at her cost. He is returning the kids to her at his cost. That is a reasonable "split". Any excess cost to her is due to her Florida vacation, not the children's visitation.

However, if you are hoping that she is going to have to pay some of the airfare your husband is spending to return them (because her gas from Florida to Georgia is less than the airfare), then I sincerely doubt that your husband would get anywhere with that.

Splitting the travel costs doesn't normally mean that you add everything up and divide it in half. That can be the method used when you are purchasing a round trip airline ticket, however its also perfectly acceptable for one parent to choose their method of providing their half of the transportion.

Exactly, I also don't know what else is going on but based on this one post, but unless otherwise noted in the court orders, as LDiJ states here in the quote, the ex has fulfillled her half of the transport, by delivering the kids to ga. and your boyfriend has fulfilled his half by returning the kids to jersey. It can be that simple.

 

[stealth2]

I have to agree with LDiJ - and if this goes to court, exactly what the judge is likely to order. Mom pays to get them one way (by whatever method she chooses) and Dad pays to get them the other (by whatever method he chooses). No more arguments, no more controversy, no more arguments.

 

[nextwife]

I agree. She gets kids to dad, dad gets kids home. THAT is an even split. Dad, technically, has the same option mom did, to drive the kids home to mom.

 

[Lils]

Thanks gang, for your replies.

I understand that it can be the opinion of many that it is none of my business what is going on with my BF and his ex. I have never interfered with any communication, have never spoken to (nor do I wish), with his ex. I'm sure many of you think that my inquiries on this board qualifies as interference. You may certainly share your opinion of my clearly evil and nasty intentions to help my BF.

As always, I am grateful for the sincere and helpful posts!

Happy Holidays!

Lils

 

[Whyte Noise]

Lils,

I answered this on another board you go to. You got pretty much the same answers here.