tricked into fatherhood

[RuthieCollinsJu]

What is the name of your state?ca
while we know ignorance or being naive is no excuse, we have a question. when my husband was 18 he was introduced to a partygirl 25. he was foolish and a horny teen but did ask shouldn't we use a rubber and was told that on her last check-up that she was unable to conceive. yes, he fell for it, after all she was supplying him and his other teenage friends with party favors and sleeping with him and possibly the others? while he/they were under the influence.this has been 11 yrs since this accurred
he has grown into a good man and deserves to find out if anything can be done. Is this a legitimate Question? this is but a small part of story. I know we should probably get a lawyer, but the cost is above our means at this time. we also know there is abuse in the home and that sweet child has had a smokers cough from the age of 3.
thanx for any input on this

 

[thelizzy]

How do you know the child is his? Has paternity been conclusively established? If not, I urge you to get a DNA test. Has your husband been paying child support?
I'm a bit confused... you said this was 11 years ago... but the child is 3? Or is the child 11 now?
Why is this only being addressed now, 11 years later?
Lastly, what exactly is your question? What do you mean "what can be done?"

 

[RuthieCollinsJu]

my question-is there legal action that can be taken?his mom convinced him it was his,he had no father and wanted to do the right thing, since he didn't deny paternity the court says she is his untell proven otherwise,we are pursuing this.
the child is now 11 and has had a smokers cough since 3, yes he pays support, like I said very big story. he had a VERY controlling mother who convinced him of many things she has passed away grhs Its taken me some time but since 2000
we arranged a visitation schedule with the mother
(custodial parent)and thats when certain things became horribly clear.we have been together 9 1/2 yrs and have tried to see his daughter fairly regular from the beginning, once the visitation(two weekends a month, 1/2 holidays part summer.the mother has a shrine in her sty of a house, of my husband,anyway the visitation failed because the more of her daddy she saw the meaner the mom got, so we had to stop, when we tried to get something done, she accused him of the abuse and we knew what the next accusation would probably be. I won't allow my husband or step daughter to suffer. or for the child to these type of memories instilled in her of her daddy. and my god they saw each other maybe twelve times before pregnancy.no realrelationship they didn't know each other. seems kind of crazy.

 

[BL]

Some courts recognize legal parentage after a certain number of years , regardless.

If your HUSBAND wants to know if the child is biologically his,he should check out having DNA preformed by a license lab.

He is not sure one way or the other at this point. If he wants he can petition the court for Ordered visitations with the child.

And you are right ignorance is no excuse.

I have/had a question about one of my children ( now grown ). I excepted her as my child no matter what.

Your husband is probably the only father figure she knows.If he doesn't want to be labeled an abuser ( I got a story about that too ), then he should except the child and fight for visitation rights,love the child as his own. The child will make her own conclusions after some time .

 

[RuthieCollinsJu]

you misunderstand, he and I love this child and wish she was with us its not a matter of paternity its a matter of the truth(we believe the child to be his) I guess the story is so big its hard to get the whole thing across, obviously you understand how complicated things can get.we are currently in the thick of things and one of the biggest problems is she hurts our daughter to get back at my husband we are just beside ourselves and no one will hear us.(the mother also works for the county where they live, she was forced to go to work and thats the job she landed). I do appreciate any and all input. wish us luck, and the child. thanx