underage mom w/no formal custody order

[gabycielo]

What is the name of your state? Florida

My daughter is an underage mother of a 1 yr old. What is the default for custody when the two parents have never lived together and there's no formal court order establishing custody? Does my daughter automatically have sole custody or is it shared custody? The father says he has a right to pick up the baby from daycare without my daughter's consent or knowledge because he is the baby's father. (He is not on the list of people who are authorized to pick her up).

 

[Ozark_Sophist]

Has paternity been legally established?

 

[CJane]

Your daughter automatically has custody.

HOWEVER...

IF the boy/man has been determined to be the LEGAL FATHER (he signed an affidavit claiming such at the birth of the child, or has been determined by the courts to be the father) then he technically has the right to pick the child up from daycare - in that the daycare should not be playing go-between on custody issues.

It would be in EVERYONE'S best interest if you hired an attorney for your daughter and worked out a custody/visitation/child support order (is he currently ordered to pay support) so that everyone is protected. The reason behind this is that a verbal agreement is not binding on ANYONE and also, even though your daughter is presumed to be the custodial parent, IF he 'just took' the child, it would be a sticky situation to get the child back since there's not a paper trail.

 

[Just Blue]

What is the name of your state? Florida

My daughter is an underage mother of a 1 yr old. What is the default for custody when the two parents have never lived together and there's no formal court order establishing custody? Does my daughter automatically have sole custody or is it shared custody? The father says he has a right to pick up the baby from daycare without my daughter's consent or knowledge because he is the baby's father. (He is not on the list of people who are authorized to pick her up).

Is he "legally" the father? Did he sign the AOP at the hospital? Does he pay court ordered support? Why has custody/visitation never been established? And why is it a problem for him to pick up his child at daycare?

 

[LdiJ]

Is he "legally" the father? Did he sign the AOP at the hospital? Does he pay court ordered support? Why has custody/visitation never been established? And why is it a problem for him to pick up his child at daycare?

The father says he has a right to pick up the baby from daycare without my daughter's consent or knowledge because he is the baby's father. (He is not on the list of people who are authorized to pick her up).

I suspect that the above is the problem. I can't think of any new parent who wouldn't have a problem with that.

 

[CJane]

I suspect that the above is the problem. I can't think of any new parent who wouldn't have a problem with that.

Heh. I'm an old parent ... sort of ... and I'd have a problem with my ex-husband or the asshat picking up any of the kids w/out my knowledge.

 

[Just Blue]

Heh. I'm an old parent ... sort of ... and I'd have a problem with my ex-husband or the asshat picking up any of the kids w/out my knowledge.

I, personally, would not have a prob with Dad picking up the child as long as he called and said "Hey Bay, Just wanted to let you know I have Jr".....I took the OP to mean that her daughter had no knowledge of his plans to pick up the child. But if Dad is picking up and not contacting Mom at all...THAT IS AN ISSUE!
And if Dad isn't on the BC and is not legally considered Dad then the daycare is negligent in releasing the child to a legal stranger.

 

[gabycielo]

The boy is the legal father-he did sign papers and child support was established when the baby was about four months old. We're dealing with him-an irresponsible 19 year old and his mother. They are upset because my daughter (and I agree) refuses to let the baby spend the night with the father (this started about four months ago) He sees the baby I'd say on average 1 or 2 times a month. It's only been about three months since the baby would let the father hold her (she's 14 months old now). My daughter breastfeeds the baby and that's one of the reasons she gave for refusing. In our state overnight visitation doesn't normally start until the child is at least 2 years old. So they're upset and now they're talking about him being able to pick up the baby again as I stated in my question. I'm still no closer to knowing-if my daughter has sole custody(?) how could he pick up the baby w/o my daughter's knowledge or consent?
Does anyone know if she has sole custody or not?

 

[CJane]

The boy is the legal father-he did sign papers and child support was established when the baby was about four months old. We're dealing with him-an irresponsible 19 year old and his mother. They are upset because my daughter (and I agree) refuses to let the baby spend the night with the father (this started about four months ago) He sees the baby I'd say on average 1 or 2 times a month. It's only been about three months since the baby would let the father hold her (she's 14 months old now). My daughter breastfeeds the baby and that's one of the reasons she gave for refusing. In our state overnight visitation doesn't normally start until the child is at least 2 years old. So they're upset and now they're talking about him being able to pick up the baby again as I stated in my question. I'm still no closer to knowing-if my daughter has sole custody(?) how could he pick up the baby w/o my daughter's knowledge or consent?
Does anyone know if she has sole custody or not?

Really? Because in the FIRST LINE of the FIRST RESPONSE I gave you your answer.

Your daughter needs to file a motion for joint custody and visitation. FL has forms online - perhaps Gracie will post the links for you. She's rather saintly that way.

A reasonable visitation schedule for a child of this age would be 3 evenings/week for a couple of months and one 1 full weekend day every week (alternate Sat/Sun)... work towards a schedule of one - two overnights/week and 2 overnights every other weekend.

Breastfeeding a toddler will not be seen as a reason to deny overnights per the court.

As the child's LEGAL father, the daycare has no right to deny him access to the child. Yes, they MIGHT, but it would cause a scene and most daycares will try to avoid that at any cost.

 

[escape2paradise]

The boy is the legal father-he did sign papers and child support was established when the baby was about four months old. We're dealing with him-an irresponsible 19 year old and his mother. They are upset because my daughter (and I agree) refuses to let the baby spend the night with the father (this started about four months ago) He sees the baby I'd say on average 1 or 2 times a month. It's only been about three months since the baby would let the father hold her (she's 14 months old now). My daughter breastfeeds the baby and that's one of the reasons she gave for refusing. In our state overnight visitation doesn't normally start until the child is at least 2 years old. So they're upset and now they're talking about him being able to pick up the baby again as I stated in my question. I'm still no closer to knowing-if my daughter has sole custody(?) how could he pick up the baby w/o my daughter's knowledge or consent?
Does anyone know if she has sole custody or not?

If there is no custody or visitation order then yes, she has sole custody. But as stated earlier that will not prevent the daycare from releasing the child to dad. He is the legal father they cannot withhold his child from him. Do as has been suggested. Get custody and visitation via a court order. Verbal and written agreements between the parties mean nothing. Dad could go pick the child up from the daycare and not return the child. You all would likely have to go to court to get the child back, which could take time. File for custody, visitation etc... now so all parties are protected.

 

[qurice]

Irresponsible or not, you daughter chose to have a child with him. If there are no overnight visits outlined in the order then fine, Mom can say no, but please don't use breastfeeding as an excuse.

If the child is in daycare, there should be no difference in being at daycare or at Dad's.

 

[stealth2]

We're dealing with him-an irresponsible 19 year old

It likely isn't wise to cast stones. Especially if we're talking about responsibility.

 

[CJane]

If he is the legal father, then your daughter does not have sole custody.

I can only think of one state where that's true in an unmarried situation, and it's not FL.

 

[qurice]

I can only think of one state where that's true in an unmarried situation, and it's not FL.

Edited my post. Thanks CJane!

 

[Ohiogal]

The boy is the legal father-he did sign papers and child support was established when the baby was about four months old. We're dealing with him-an irresponsible 19 year old and his mother.

What about your irresponsible child and her mother (meaning you)? Pot meet kettle.

They are upset because my daughter (and I agree) refuses to let the baby spend the night with the father (this started about four months ago) He sees the baby I'd say on average 1 or 2 times a month. It's only been about three months since the baby would let the father hold her (she's 14 months old now). My daughter breastfeeds the baby and that's one of the reasons she gave for refusing.

That is NOT an excuse. She can pump and bottle the breastmilk. She is going to have to learn to deal.

In our state overnight visitation doesn't normally start until the child is at least 2 years old.

Actually that is wrong. In your state and most states if not all the child spends overnights with both parents from the time the baby is released from the hospital.

So they're upset and now they're talking about him being able to pick up the baby again as I stated in my question.

And he can do that because he is daddy.

I'm still no closer to knowing-if my daughter has sole custody(?) how could he pick up the baby w/o my daughter's knowledge or consent?

Because she has DEFAULT custody HOWEVER without a court order dad is allowed to pick up the baby from daycare.

Does anyone know if she has sole custody or not?

You have been informed.