unsure about what adoption and natural fathers rights

[jjs0831]

Ohio -

First want to thank you for your time. Probably going to be lengthy.

I start with our history. My fiance and myself had our first child 3 years ago. After, we split up for awhile and she got pregnant. Things did not work between her and the (i'll call him donor) during the pregnancy, and they split up.

We worked things out between us and got back together. The donor didn't care about the baby. I supported her and the unborn baby through part of the pregnancy. I held her hand during labor and delivery. I cut his cord, and helped pick his name. He has been my son since before day 1.

My fiance had a protection order because the donor threatened her and the baby in a text. As far as I know he has only seen 1 picture of the baby, and it was my arm in the picture holding him.

The donor has never made any attempt to see or support him. Which is perfectly fine with us. We decided the baby is mine and did not want to pursue any support from the donor.

Since then we have had another child together and are engaged. Our son will be 2 in a few months and we want everything to be legal. I was reading about step parent adoption, but we are not married yet.

What are our options and with our situation will the donor have any say in the adoption?

Thanks again.

It's not blood, but love that makes us father and son.

 

[Silverplum]

Ohio -

First want to thank you for your time. Probably going to be lengthy.

I start with our history. My fiance and myself had our first child 3 years ago. After, we split up for awhile and she got pregnant. Things did not work between her and the (i'll call him donor) during the pregnancy, and they split up.

We worked things out between us and got back together. The donor didn't care about the baby. I supported her and the unborn baby through part of the pregnancy. I held her hand during labor and delivery. I cut his cord, and helped pick his name. He has been my son since before day 1.

My fiance had a protection order because the donor threatened her and the baby in a text. As far as I know he has only seen 1 picture of the baby, and it was my arm in the picture holding him.

The donor has never made any attempt to see or support him. Which is perfectly fine with us. We decided the baby is mine and did not want to pursue any support from the donor.

Since then we have had another child together and are engaged. Our son will be 2 in a few months and we want everything to be legal. I was reading about step parent adoption, but we are not married yet.

What are our options and with our situation will the donor have any say in the adoption?

Thanks again.

It's not blood, but love that makes us father and son.

Think whatever you please: in the law, you're just Mommy's boyfriend. Here, we deal with the law, and are not swayed by little sayings that make people feel better.

 

[Proserpina]

Think whatever you please: in the law, you're just Mommy's boyfriend. Here, we deal with the law, and are not swayed by little sayings that make people feel better.

I'm 1000% certain Mommy has posted before either here or "down the street" and didn't like the responses she received ...

(You are of course perfectly correct, too!)

 

[Silverplum]

Start reading here: https://www.ohiobar.org/forpublic/resources/lawyoucanuse/pages/lawyoucanuse-204.aspx

 

[Silverplum]

I'm 1000% certain Mommy has posted before either here or "down the street" and didn't like the responses she received ...

(You are of course perfectly correct, too!)

I hate that 'donor' crud.

 

[Proserpina]

Ohio -

First want to thank you for your time. Probably going to be lengthy.

I start with our history. My fiance and myself had our first child 3 years ago. After, we split up for awhile and she got pregnant. Things did not work between her and the (i'll call him donor) during the pregnancy, and they split up.

We worked things out between us and got back together. The donor didn't care about the baby. I supported her and the unborn baby through part of the pregnancy. I held her hand during labor and delivery. I cut his cord, and helped pick his name. He has been my son since before day 1.

My fiance had a protection order because the donor threatened her and the baby in a text. As far as I know he has only seen 1 picture of the baby, and it was my arm in the picture holding him.

The donor has never made any attempt to see or support him. Which is perfectly fine with us. We decided the baby is mine and did not want to pursue any support from the donor.

Since then we have had another child together and are engaged. Our son will be 2 in a few months and we want everything to be legal. I was reading about step parent adoption, but we are not married yet.

What are our options and with our situation will the donor have any say in the adoption?

Thanks again.

It's not blood, but love that makes us father and son.

And the law says you're absolutely not father and son. So with all of that said, let's try to keep this shorter than 5 pages of angst.

Whether or not he's actually been established as the legal father, he WILL be involved to some degree in a stepparent adoption. The key point about a stepparent adoption is the word itself - "stepparent". You are not a stepparent. If you would like to try for a stepparent adoption, you must first marry Mommy.

Once that's out of the way, you get yourselves to a local adoption attorney who will guide you further. If you are all in agreement it should be fairly quick and problem-free (and hence not too expensive). If Dad objects, you have to accept that the adoption may not happen at all - ever.

Does that answer your question?

 

[stealth2]

Ohio -

First want to thank you for your time. Probably going to be lengthy.

I start with our history. My fiance and myself had our first child 3 years ago. After, we split up for awhile and she got pregnant. Things did not work between her and the (i'll call him FATHER) during the pregnancy, and they split up.

We worked things out between us and got back together. The FATHER didn't care about the baby. I supported her and the unborn baby through part of the pregnancy. I held her hand during labor and delivery. I cut his cord, and helped pick his name. He has been HIS son since before day 1.

My fiance had a protection order because the FATHER threatened her and the baby in a text. As far as I know he has only seen 1 picture of the baby, and it was my arm in the picture holding him.

The FATHER has never made any attempt to see or support him. Which is perfectly fine with us. We decided the baby is (NOT) mine and did not want to pursue any support from the FATHER.

Since then we have had another child together and are engaged. HIS son will be 2 in a few months and we want everything to be legal. I was reading about step parent adoption, but we are not married yet.

What are our options and with our situation will the FATHER have any say in the adoption?

Thanks again.

It's blood that makes them father and son.

Fixed it for ya.

 

[jjs0831]

Was not expecting all the harshness but whatever. No mommy has not posted here or anywhere about this. As for the saying my step father came into my life when I was very young, married her had another kid and adopted me when she passed when I was 5.

I understand I'm just mommies boyfriend as far as the law is concerned. The "donor" crud, sorry, "natural" father. We plan on telling him that I am not his "natural" father around 5 or so when he will be able to understand. I didn't find out until I wss 23 and I didn't take it very well. We do not want him to go through the same

We are getting married this year.

We will be getting an adoption lawyer

I was just looking for advice about what to expect with this whole thing. What I read about step parent( which I will be) is that if the "natural" father did not do the minimum "minimus efacto" or w/e for a year before filling he had no say. Does that year start from the day we get married or the day we bought our home and began living together?

Thank you for the link I will read it.

Any other actual advice or shared experience will be appreciated.

Ill refer to facebook when I need sacarstic unhelpful remarks, thanks

 

[Silverplum]

Was not expecting all the harshness but whatever. No mommy has not posted here or anywhere about this. As for the saying my step father came into my life when I was very young, married her had another kid and adopted me when she passed when I was 5.

I understand I'm just mommies boyfriend as far as the law is concerned. The "donor" crud, sorry, "natural" father. We plan on telling him that I am not his "natural" father around 5 or so when he will be able to understand. I didn't find out until I wss 23 and I didn't take it very well. We do not want him to go through the same

We are getting married this year.

We will be getting an adoption lawyer

I was just looking for advice about what to expect with this whole thing. What I read about step parent( which I will be) is that if the "natural" father did not do the minimum "minimus efacto" or w/e for a year before filling he had no say. Does that year start from the day we get married or the day we bought our home and began living together?

Thank you for the link I will read it.

Any other actual advice or shared experience will be appreciated.

Ill refer to facebook when I need sacarstic unhelpful remarks, thanks

You're welcome.

 

[not2cleverRed]

The legal answer: get married already. Stay married. Then look into adoption.

 

[stealth2]

The sarcasm is a bonus that comes free with your membership fee. Oh.... wait.....

 

[jjs0831]

"You're welcome."

Since your on here talking about the law. I'mgoing to assume you may have some sort of legal experience. Since your trolling I'm also going to assume you failed the bar and now your stuck spending your miserable life doing 15 hours a day of research as an aide and handing of the information to an actual lawyer that is living the life you wish you had. If you don't have a bridge to go back under, your in luck, I can build you one cause I have the life I want and don't spend my free time trolling to make myself feel better

 

[Silverplum]

"You're welcome."

Since your on here talking about the law. I'mgoing to assume you may have some sort of legal experience. Since your trolling I'm also going to assume you failed the bar and now your stuck spending your miserable life doing 15 hours a day of research as an aide and handing of the information to an actual lawyer that is living the life you wish you had. If you don't have a bridge to go back under, your in luck, I can build you one cause I have the life I want and don't spend my free time trolling to make myself feel better

Okay, then.

 

[Proserpina]

"You're welcome."

Since your on here talking about the law. I'mgoing to assume you may have some sort of legal experience. Since your trolling I'm also going to assume you failed the bar and now your stuck spending your miserable life doing 15 hours a day of research as an aide and handing of the information to an actual lawyer that is living the life you wish you had. If you don't have a bridge to go back under, your in luck, I can build you one cause I have the life I want and don't spend my free time trolling to make myself feel better

"You're". It's "you're".

You need to understand something. You came to a place where legal strangers (that's you, legally) who badmouth the actual parent are not welcomed with open arms. It is highly disrespectful to come here and criticize someone in such terms. You don't have to like the guy, but you do have to show respect for, if nothing else, his being half of the DNA of the child you want to adopt. Your girlfriend chose him and that little boy is a result of her choice.

I strongly advice you to choose your words wisely, because they can be used against you.

And seriously, quit trolling yourself. Really.

 

[Proserpina]

One other thing.

I'm pretty sure this situation has been posted elsewhere very, very recently ... and then deleted.