Unsure what to do from here

[RRevak]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? FL

I'm feeling a bit defeated here but wanted to make one last effort to see if there was anything I could do. Day before yesterday (the 14th) my oldest daughter was at school for her afternoon tutoring class which happens every tues and thurs. This has been going on since the beginning of december. An adult male who is employed by the church the school operates out of has been helping the school as a minor custodian, trash duties etc, every day for the last several years. I'm not clear on his timelime as the school wasn't forthcoming as to how long he's been "helping". The 14th he came into my daughters classroom while the teacher was in front for parent pickup, approached her and another student who was also present, asked if he could "rub her feet" then proceeded to remove her socks and massage her bare feet for what she describes as several minutes while telling her he liked the feeling of her skin. She said he asked if he could but she was afraid so she didn't reply. He then stopped and left. After speaking to her today it turns out this is not the first time he has touched her and through the statements the girls gave to the school and the talk I had with my daughter the day it happened, he has apparently been approaching them for months with the same request.


The first time he touched my daughter he told her not to tell anyone. The school told me that DCF had been notified that day and he was removed from the school and church and told he could not ever return. There was no mention as to whether or not law enforcement had been notified, they simply said DCF was called and it was "out of their hands". I finally got in touch with someone at DCF this morning who informed me that the case that was opened for this incident has now been closed and had been since yesterday. No person reached out to me, no person reached out to my child at school, and DCF did not reach out to the sheriffs dept. The school told me this man was now "being sent to live with his sister" when I spoke to staff yesterday. So I went to the sheriffs department today to file my own report (after giving the school a chance to remedy the situation) and was told to once again file a new report with DCF but since this man is "developmentally delayed" that this man might not even be arrested for what he did. What complicates the situation further is this man supposedly has the mind of a child, or so the school says. They said he is also on medications which according to them has made his behavior erratic and abnormal the past several weeks.


Due to the nature of his mental state, the sheriff has told me there stands the chance that he might not be able to arrest this man as since this is a case of "simple battery" the man might not be able to understand what he did was wrong. He also told me DCF does not see this type of behavior as "abuse" and will more than likely shut a new case down as it seems they have already. The school board says there is nothing they can do as this is a charter and therefor out of their responsibilities. So my options now are file a new report with DCF and let them decide again if this is something they will pursue with the sheriff, do nothing and move her to another school (we're moving her as soon as we can get her into somewhere else), or speak with an attorney. My question is does this sound normal to anyone? I feel that being told this wasn't honestly abuse seems scary as this adult man can place his hands inappropriately on my child and due to his mental state, and DCF not seeing it as "abuse", is now clearly going to just walk away without as much as a conversation with authorities. I'm just horribly confused as to how this can happen.

 

[single317dad]

First, let me say I understand and sympathize with your position. As this is your child -- not my child -- I think I'm able to look at it more objectively where if it was my own kid I would probably be seething also.

The guy is fired, and is going to live under some level of supervision. He's probably mentally handicapped (many severely autistic people have strong "touch" compulsions). He's gone from the school and won't be back. I don't think you gain anything by pursuing criminal charges or changing schools.

An adult touching a kid's feet is inappropriate, but in a much milder sense than other inappropriate behavior. Yes, he's creepy. Yes, he shouldn't be cornering the kids and asking weird questions. Yes, he should be fired and shouldn't work with kids anymore. No, he probably shouldn't go to prison. Though I reserve the right to revise that because the "other instances of touching" weren't fully described, and may have been different.

Just my personal opinion. Toss it in the hat with the others.

 

[TheGeekess]

Daughter is in some kind of counseling, yes?

 

[RRevak]

Yes we're currently working on finding her a counselor in our area. The one we used before is no longer in practice due to having a baby which stinks because they really worked well together.

I know its hard to see this objectively but its still hard to wrap my head around the idea of a grown man being able to touch my child without her consent and its all ok just because he's been asked not to come back. We don't know if he is truly mentally competent or not, i'm just being told that's the case as i've never met this person. I see the pastor sending him to his sister as a means of just not dealing with the problem and making it someone elses because if its a living situation like the one he has here then he isn't 100% supervised. I don't know if he has touched any other children, nobody asked. I don't know if him touching her was the beginning of him working up to something more because not a single person of authority aside from the pastor and the principle have spoken to him. That part is really getting me. Why police or a counselor haven't interviewed him. Heck, even DCF didn't interview him! I just feel this is wrong that authorities said well it was just her feet so its no biggie and left it at that. I didn't necessarily want this man in cuffs and behind bars but geez, SOMETHING more than an oh well he's gone would have been better!

 

[Zigner]

I disagree with the prior response. I would be at the sheriff office raising hell all the way up the chain of command. Why in the WORLD would DCF or anyone else simply take the word of the church about the guy's mental state, etc???

 

[RRevak]

I disagree with the prior response. I would be at the sheriff office raising hell all the way up the chain of command. Why in the WORLD would DCF or anyone else simply take the word of the church about the guy's mental state, etc???

I was at the sheriffs office all day yesterday trying to figure out who dropped the ball. Sheriff said DCF should have done more while in the same sentence saying that DCF wouldn't deal with it anyway. That they would just refer it back to sheriff. The nice woman at DCF whom I spoke to said I needed a supervisor as she said it was odd that the case was already closed. The explanation sheriff gave for that was again, it isn't "abuse" so they would close it and be done. Part of me is wondering if the school didn't tell DCF that he actually touched her but rather he "made comments". I don't know, i'm just very angry and very confused.

 

[dave33]

I was at the sheriffs office all day yesterday trying to figure out who dropped the ball. Sheriff said DCF should have done more while in the same sentence saying that DCF wouldn't deal with it anyway. That they would just refer it back to sheriff. The nice woman at DCF whom I spoke to said I needed a supervisor as she said it was odd that the case was already closed. The explanation sheriff gave for that was again, it isn't "abuse" so they would close it and be done. Part of me is wondering if the school didn't tell DCF that he actually touched her but rather he "made comments". I don't know, i'm just very angry and very confused.

The fact that the school/church let a known mentally incompetent man around children unsupervised sounds like a recipe for disaster. I cannot imagine what in the heck the administration was thinking. I believe if I was in the financial position to do so, I would consult with an attorney. I would have this consultation in the hopes that the policy would be changed as to not let something like this happen again. goodluck.

 

[justalayman]

it isn't up to the sheriff to determine the man's mental capacity and if his actions should be excused due to some perceived incapacity. The courts make that determination using a shrinks evaluation for information. Therefore Sheriff is an idiot.





The school, if they were aware of an issue and did nothing to rectify the matter, they are, at least, negligent in their actions and as such, share culpability.

Sending a person who acts like this to live elsewhere does not solve the problem; him. It allows for other children to be subjected to this sort of behavior. Who knows how far the guy make take things. While I'm being a bit reactive here, when it comes to protecting children, I'm not sure there is truly overreaction.

. The explanation sheriff gave for that was again, it isn't "abuse" so they would close it and be done.

really? Would he allow a stranger to play with his child's feet?


the guy apparently has a foot fetish. I suspect it is for sexual excitement or gratification therefor would be molestation.

Regardless of anything else, this is a battery of a minor.

and yes, it is abuse.

DCF screwed the pooch on this one as well. An incident such as this should be investigated. It should be recorded in DCF files the admin allowed this sort of person to be around children, without others in attendance. That goes to the basic nature of the admin attitudes and is a warning sign they may ignore other similar issues as well.

If it were me, if you have any other police departments that have jurisdiction, I would contact them. I would also consider contacting the prosecutor's office and speaking directly to them.

 

[RRevak]

So this morning I made another call to DCFs main abuse line and put in an official report of abuse regarding the situation. The woman I spoke to said that there was an initial report made but she isn't sure what happened to it. I described the situation in detail including reading the written statement my daughter gave the school and made sure they were aware that it was the exact copy of what she told the administration. This was about 10am this morning. At 4pm this afternoon I received a call from a DCF social worker informing me that she was on school grounds with a sheriff officer and she would like to speak with myself and my child. So I headed down and we all sat while my daughter told her what happened. They were very concerned that this man was allowed to interact with the children while the school administration did not have an adequate background check. The one provided by the church only went back 1 yr and did not include fingerprints. The school didn't even have an address or information on him other than a phone number. I told them he was under the supervision of the pastor so they should find him to figure out where this man was living but they said that might be a grey area since its the church. So after we finished I asked the social worker if she could tell me anything about the initial report and she told me there was a report made but that it only included 2 or 3 lines and Tallahassee filtered it out before it really even reached down here. Since the second report included more details it managed to pass the Tallahassee desk and down to someone here which prompted the worker being sent out to talk with the staff and my daughter. That along with there being no record of a sheriff visiting the school or no report by DCF of sending someone in for interviews says that the school really didn't tell them the details clearly in an attempt to protect this man. I'm not even sure where to go with that one. I'm waiting this investigation out to see what the outcome is but at this point I want jobs. If I can't at least have the man spend a night or two in jail, then I want someone trained to speak with him to determine whether or not this really is sexual for him and if he's done this before or in the future. If it is sexual then I want him in jail. If it isn't then at least he could get help. An attorney might be next depending on the situation. I'm so mad at the darn school I could spit