untrusting

[confused :(]

What is the name of your state?AZ
My daughter is staying indefinitely with my parents. I am confused about my rights, I do not want to give custody or guardianship to my mother because I do not trust her, for too many reasons to mention, but I had no where else to turn. Can she take my daughter from me or have any legal reprocussions against me? She and my daughter are in Oklahoma.

 

[hockeymom9]

She prob could file something with the courts along the lines of abandonment to get some kind of rights. It would really depend on the whole situation, your entry is kind of vauge.

 

[confused :(]

My daughter has been there for almost 5 months now with only a verbal agreement between the two parties. I have sent cards money and e-mailed back and forth, but I dont trust.

 

[Chelle0511]

My daughter has been there for almost 5 months now with only a verbal agreement between the two parties. I have sent cards money and e-mailed back and forth, but I dont trust.

First of all who are you living with? Who is supporting you? And, why in the heck would you take off and leave your child states behind?? You did have a choice! There is help... and you don't have to move states away from your child to get it. You better reconsider and maybe think of your child and not yourself!

 

[confused :(]

Ok, here goes, I am living with my new fiance the birth mother is in and out of prison has two other illegitimate kids and my daughter is 7 diagnosed with ADHD and RAD and caused so much havoc with me almost cost my job she went to stay with grandma. As for who is supporting me I am the breadwinner in the family have a great job and make good money. The problems with my daughter are a different matter. I just need to keep my mother from legal actions

 

[LdiJ]

Ok, here goes, I am living with my new fiance the birth mother is in and out of prison has two other illegitimate kids and my daughter is 7 diagnosed with ADHD and RAD and caused so much havoc with me almost cost my job she went to stay with grandma. As for who is supporting me I am the breadwinner in the family have a great job and make good money. The problems with my daughter are a different matter. I just need to keep my mother from legal actions

There is every chance that your mother could obtain custody. You are unwilling to parent your special needs child and she is. However unless your mother is willing to break the law by pretending that she doesn't know where you are, she can't obtain custody without officially serving you with the suit.

However, if you have given your mother no legal status (not even a power of attorney) then you may be forcing her hand. Its almost impossible to care for a child and handle the basics of life without at least a POA.

 

[confused :(]

My mother has been given a form notorized and signed giving her permission to have my daughter treated for medical issues and has her insurance card along with my financial backing. The problem is not the willingness to parent her and her special needs, currently she has lied and manipulated people into feeling pity for her and subsequently had child abuse allegations brought to me. After hiring an attorney the case was dropped because there was no evidence to support the claim. Not wanting another episode like this my mother was only too willing to say "just send her to me and I will take care of this"

 

[Chelle0511]

Ok, here goes, I am living with my new fiance the birth mother is in and out of prison has two other illegitimate kids and my daughter is 7 diagnosed with ADHD and RAD and caused so much havoc with me almost cost my job she went to stay with grandma. As for who is supporting me I am the breadwinner in the family have a great job and make good money. The problems with my daughter are a different matter. I just need to keep my mother from legal actions

~This is way too confusing. Who is the birth mother? I thought that was you?? So if the child caused you so many problems and you passed her off to grandma, then what are your intentions? Leaving her there and not signing over custody? You are making NO sense!

 

[colson111]

~This is way too confusing. Who is the birth mother? I thought that was you??

Umm, maybe the poster is the father???

 

[BL]

I can understand what the Father has gone through.

I have been helping raise my Girlfriend's Son, who's manipulative and has attempted to get me arrested for Abuse, as well as manipulating Hosp. staff , Etc. to thinking we are neglectful , abusefull people.
( BTW , when the police came and he cried abuse, one female cop said he needed a good foot up his behind )

I also, have a brother who has a daughter of special needs , who has his work disrupted because of her. Good thing his employer is understanding. He has to work in summers and collect unemployment in the winter.

To the original poster , I don't know if you are worried if your mother obtains custody, you will have to pay support, because you would have to , but you should be anyways.

Are giving your mother any other support beside medical coverage for the child ?

You can't expect someone else , even if it's your mother to care for your child without paying support.

What I don't understand is , you express not trusting your mother , but yet you allow her to care for your child. She has been for 5 months .

It makes no sense .

If not , you should be ...

 

[nextwife]

It is very serious that a child with their biofamily is suffering from RAD. I hope this child is getting EXTENSIVE therapy, as are all those involved with her caregiving. Of course, the ADHD needs to be addressed, but RAD is a far scarier diagnosis. Is your 7 year old working with an attachment therapist? You should not delay in addressing this.

 

[casa]

Ok, here goes, I am living with my new fiance the birth mother is in and out of prison has two other illegitimate kids and my daughter is 7 diagnosed with ADHD and RAD and caused so much havoc with me almost cost my job she went to stay with grandma. As for who is supporting me I am the breadwinner in the family have a great job and make good money. The problems with my daughter are a different matter. I just need to keep my mother from legal actions

Your child has an attachment disorder and you ship her off to another family member during the formative years? Sounds like you have no intention of taking her back anytime soon- and if she's integrating with her Grandma, it'd be wise to let her stay. Do they have in therapy? Any medication? Some ADHD medications also help some symptoms of RAD (the reactive parts).

I feel for you all in this mess, but it would seem that providing the child with a stable and LONG TERM living situation is in her best interest.

My 2c. Take or Toss

http://www.chadd.org/

http://www.aacap.org/publications/factsfam/85.htm

 

[efcoco1]

How long do you "think" your child will be with your mother?
Your daughter seems to be "too" much for you to "handle"..when do you think you will be able to handle her?