Unwed father-to-be. Hopefully I can get some advice!

[Proserpina]

Don't get too attached though. At this point there's a very good chance the child isn't even yours.

Agreed.

There'll be plenty of time to bond once Dad is established as Dad.

 

[brandnew1]

I would say, given that I did the deed with her and 'finished the job' while she was ovulating means there is a pretty good chance that it is mine. Also since she doesn't even like me I don't see why she would pick my name out of a hat and name me the dad. She claims I'm the only person she slept with that month. She could be lying, but I'm not going to bank on that.

This does bring up another point though. If this is my daughter I want to establish paternity as soon as humanly possible to ensure I get my foot in the door right away. I have read that I can sign the birth certificate as the father and then I have a certain amount of time to get the DNA test done to confirm. Does anyone know what this timetable is?

I would rather not wait for the court to order a paternity test to establish that I'm the father because those are going to be precious weeks/months I don't get to see my daughter .

 

[ecmst12]

Don't sign the BC - even if she lets you. Get the DNA test FIRST. And don't get too attached to the idea of fatherhood until then. She could be lying about any NUMBER of things.

I hope you carry around plenty of condoms now as well.

You are just going to have to accept that if this is your child, you are going to miss the first few months. There are worse things that could happen - namely you accepting financial and life-responsibility for a child that isn't yours.

 

[TheGeekess]

I would say, given that I did the deed with her and 'finished the job' while she was ovulating means there is a pretty good chance that it is mine. Also since she doesn't even like me I don't see why she would pick my name out of a hat and name me the dad. She claims I'm the only person she slept with that month. She could be lying, but I'm not going to bank on that.

This does bring up another point though. If this is my daughter I want to establish paternity as soon as humanly possible to ensure I get my foot in the door right away. I have read that I can sign the birth certificate as the father and then I have a certain amount of time to get the DNA test done to confirm. Does anyone know what this timetable is?

I would rather not wait for the court to order a paternity test to establish that I'm the father because those are going to be precious weeks/months I don't get to see my daughter .

When one helps to create a child out of wedlock one does not always get those "precious weeks/months". But that was your choice to have (unprotected) sex outside of marriage (though abstinence is the only way to guarantee one does not contribute to a situation such as yours).

 

[Proserpina]

I would say, given that I did the deed with her and 'finished the job' while she was ovulating means there is a pretty good chance that it is mine. Also since she doesn't even like me I don't see why she would pick my name out of a hat and name me the dad. She claims I'm the only person she slept with that month. She could be lying, but I'm not going to bank on that.

This does bring up another point though. If this is my daughter I want to establish paternity as soon as humanly possible to ensure I get my foot in the door right away. I have read that I can sign the birth certificate as the father and then I have a certain amount of time to get the DNA test done to confirm. Does anyone know what this timetable is?

I would rather not wait for the court to order a paternity test to establish that I'm the father because those are going to be precious weeks/months I don't get to see my daughter .

In addition to ecm's excellent post, another point:

You cannot sign the AOP without Mom's consent since you're unwed.

Don't. Sign. ANYTHING. Not without a paternity test. Don't do it. Read over other threads here - please, do that.

 

[Proserpina]

When one helps to create a child out of wedlock one does not always get those "precious weeks/months". But that was your choice to have (unprotected) sex outside of marriage (though abstinence is the only way to guarantee one does not contribute to a situation such as yours).

Hysterectomied and post-menopausal women also

 

[ecmst12]

How do you verify a hysterectomy? Or menopause for that matter. Women can lie about that stuff too. The only way to be sure is for YOU to get sterilized, or use protection every time, or not have sex at all. A guy could tell me he's had a vasectomy, but I'm still not letting him stick anything in me uncovered, unless I WANT him to knock me up!

 

[You Are Guilty]

OP, do not, and I stress the not, sign the birth certificate or affidavit of paternity before you have the results of the DNA test that YOU ordered and paid for in your hands. (Do NOT let baby momma be involved in the DNA test process). If it turns out you are not the dad (reasonably good possibility), but you have signed off on any of the paperwork, you are in for a world of hurt. Even if it can be straightened out, it will take a long time and cost you a lot of money, for nothing. And, not to be the bearer of bad news, but there is also the possibility that you could be held financially responsible for this child even if it is not genetically yours (albeit a small chance).

While it is admirable that you want to step up to the plate and take care of your responsibilities, make triply sure they are your responsibilities first.

How do you verify a hysterectomy? Or menopause for that matter. Women can lie about that stuff too. The only way to be sure is for YOU to get sterilized, or use protection every time, or not have sex at all. A guy could tell me he's had a vasectomy, but I'm still not letting him stick anything in me uncovered, unless I WANT him to knock me up!

This is why I made all my former girlfriends get a CAT scan, MRI and PAP smear (hey, you can never be too careful), before sleeping with them.





I was very lonely

 

[Zigner]

This is why I made all my former girlfriends get a CAT scan, MRI and PAP smear (hey, you can never be too careful), before sleeping with them.

I was very lonely

That reminds me of one of the jokes from my childhood that I've never forgotten:

A man runs into the vet’s office carrying his dog, screaming for help.

The vet rushes him back to an examination room and has him put his dog down on the examination table.

The vet examines the still, limp body and after a few moments tells the man that his dog, regrettably, is dead.

The man, clearly agitated and not willing to accept this, demands a second opinion.

The vet goes into the back room and comes out with a cat and puts the cat down next to the dog’s body. The cat sniffs the body, walks from head to tail poking and sniffing the dog’s body and finally looks at the vet and meows. The vet looks at the man and says, “I’m sorry, but the cat thinks that your dog is dead too.”

The man is still unwilling to accept that his dog is dead.

The vet brings in a black Labrador. The lab sniffs the body, walks from head to tail, and finally looks at the vet and barks. The vet looks at the man and says, “I’m sorry, but the lab thinks your dog is dead too.”

The man, finally resigned to the diagnosis, thanks the vet and asks how much he owes. The vet answers, “$650.”

“$650 to tell me my dog is dead?” exclaimed the man….

“Well,” the vet replies, “I would only have charged you $50 for my initial diagnosis. The additional $600 was for the cat scan and lab tests.”


(This version retrieved at jokeslab.com/jokes/198/animal-jokes/cat-scan-and-lab-tests/)