Unwed pregnant mother questions

[vanilla_girl]

What is the name of your state? Michigan

I am 4 months pregnant and not with the father of the child anymore. I do not plan to put his name on the birth certificate. I have a few questions regarding rights and visitation.
1. I plan to move back with my parents after the baby is born, since all my family and friends are in that town. It is about 150 miles away from where I (and the ex boyfriend) currently live. After we broke up, he moved 50 miles in the opposite direction away, so we will be about 200 miles apart (not sure if that matters). I don't want him to have anything to do with my child since he is not a good person (mentally abusive alcoholic). My question is: should I have the baby in the town I live, or the town I am moving to, will that matter in the courts eyes if he decides to press for visitation?
2. WIll he have any rights as a father for this baby? or will he have to establish paternity (and pay back child support) before becoming involoved in this childs life?
3. Can I block his ex-wife/current girlfriend (who is one and the same person) from having contact with my child? She has a child neglect charge on her record (from 3 1/2 years ago)?
Any other advice for me?
thanks,
mandi

 

[rt2busi]

hi in my state which is pennsylvania , you dont have to name a father on a birth certificate but if he comes around and decides , he can have paternity test done but at the age of 6 months old for the baby and at his cost,if you dont want this guy to b a part of the babys life you shouldnt try for child support because they will ask you to name the father , and if his wife has a record of some sort you may be able to keep her away but that would b difficult and costly . im not sure how it is in all states but i have friends who have been through the same sort of things. give it time you have five months to go alot of things can happen> does the father know you are pregnant? is there anyone else out there who can agree with me?

 

[AHA]

If you want child support from him, there will have to be a paternity test. Along with that comes his rights for at least visitation. If you can prove that he and the gf are not fit to have child for visitation, it's worth a shot to use that in court if you get that chance.
Wherever you give birth to the child, the biodad's identity will still be the same. If you can provide fully for your child for the next couple of decades without child support, you might get away with not having the father in your life, but then again, he himself can take the initiative to be present in his child's life at any point(after paternity has been established), so there's no 100% certainty.

 

[stealth2]

1. I plan to move back with my parents after the baby is born, since all my family and friends are in that town. It is about 150 miles away from where I (and the ex boyfriend) currently live. After we broke up, he moved 50 miles in the opposite direction away, so we will be about 200 miles apart (not sure if that matters). I don't want him to have anything to do with my child since he is not a good person (mentally abusive alcoholic). My question is: should I have the baby in the town I live, or the town I am moving to, will that matter in the courts eyes if he decides to press for visitation?

A: You would be better off moving before the child is born. However, should he decide to prove his paternity and go for visitation, you will have little argument about his being a good person - he was good enough for you to sleep with. Assuming you're an adult who knows the consequences of sex, THAT was the time to think about whether he was good father material - not after conceiving his child.

2. WIll he have any rights as a father for this baby? or will he have to establish paternity (and pay back child support) before becoming involoved in this childs life?

A: He'll have to establish paternity. But if he chooses to do that, you won't be able to stop him and he WILL have rights to the child. There is no "back" child support until there is a court order for support - and that would require paternity. And besides, Support & Visitation are two separate issues.

3. Can I block his ex-wife/current girlfriend (who is one and the same person) from having contact with my child? She has a child neglect charge on her record (from 3 1/2 years ago)?

A: Depends - you'd have to prove that she is a danger to this child.

 

[Gracie3787]

What is the name of your state? Michigan

I am 4 months pregnant and not with the father of the child anymore. I do not plan to put his name on the birth certificate. I have a few questions regarding rights and visitation.
1. I plan to move back with my parents after the baby is born, since all my family and friends are in that town. It is about 150 miles away from where I (and the ex boyfriend) currently live. After we broke up, he moved 50 miles in the opposite direction away, so we will be about 200 miles apart (not sure if that matters). I don't want him to have anything to do with my child since he is not a good person (mentally abusive alcoholic). My question is: should I have the baby in the town I live, or the town I am moving to, will that matter in the courts eyes if he decides to press for visitation?
2. WIll he have any rights as a father for this baby? or will he have to establish paternity (and pay back child support) before becoming involoved in this childs life?
3. Can I block his ex-wife/current girlfriend (who is one and the same person) from having contact with my child? She has a child neglect charge on her record (from 3 1/2 years ago)?
Any other advice for me?
thanks,
mandi

Question 1.- It doesn't matter what town you have baby in. If father files for visitation, the court will make decision at that time as to how /where visits take place.

Question 2.- He will have to have paternity established first and then YES - HE WILL HAVE RIGHTS. He will have to pay CS ONLY from filing date- NOT BACK TO BIRTH.

Question 3.- You may or may not be able to keep his GF, wife, or whoever from having contact with HIS child. It will depend on just how "bad" the person is and how much you will be able to prove. However, until paternity is established, you can keep anyone you want from YOUR child.

 

[vanilla_girl]

Thanks for replying so quickly -
I do not anticipate asking for child support from him, as I do not want him to have visitation.
yes - he knows I am pregnant, and says he cares, he don't show it (as in not even picking up the ultrasound pictures I have waiting for him)
Again, thanks for answering so quickly - I may have a few more questions, but I can't think of them right now.

 

[stealth2]

He can file to have paternity established and ask for custody/visitation all on his own.

 

[AHA]

Thanks for replying so quickly -
I do not anticipate asking for child support from him, as I do not want him to have visitation.
yes - he knows I am pregnant, and says he cares, he don't show it (as in not even picking up the ultrasound pictures I have waiting for him)
Again, thanks for answering so quickly - I may have a few more questions, but I can't think of them right now.

A lot of men don't actually get interested until the baby is born. They don't carry it inside them, so for some men the baby probably doesn't really exist until it's born and they can actually see it and hold it.
Don't be surprised if he shows up after the birth an take an active interest in his child.

 

[Happy Trails]

A lot of men don't actually get interested until the baby is born. They don't carry it inside them, so for some men the baby probably doesn't really exist until it's born and they can actually see it and hold it.
Don't be surprised if he shows up after the birth an take an active interest in his child.

Oh, that is SO true. Reality has not set in yet only shock and denial.

 

[Naturalmom]

In Nj First don't count on because she has child endangerment under her belt they deny access. My Ex who is now married to a two year prison felon for child endangerment , HE is convicted of DV and both have access to my child EOW.
Next don't hesitate about moving NOW, if he is interested in being in childs life he will find you , other wise you can make a life without problems. Don't file for support because that opens up a can you don't want to get into As for BC your are not required to put fathers name. My STRONG suggestions is the childs last name be yours life is much easier and you areNOT required to put fathers last name as childs. Take this from someone who is in the shoes NOW . Run don't walk move and listen to what I have said. Also you might consider allowing private messages from this sight to you so people can speak more open without public scrutiny.

 

[LdiJ]

If you are going to move, do it now. Don't wait until after the baby is born.
You are totally free to do that now. Once the baby is born a court could prohibit you from relocating.

As for the rest, the other's have already answered those questions.

 

[Shay-Pari'e]

If you are going to move, do it now. Don't wait until after the baby is born.
You are totally free to do that now. Once the baby is born a court could prohibit you from relocating.

As for the rest, the other's have already answered those questions.

I am curious as to what you are advocating in that response.

 

[LdiJ]

I am curious as to what you are advocating in that response.

I am advocating nothing. I am merely accurately answering that question.

 

[gatorguy3]

Don't think that just because you don't ask for support that he has Zero rights to "yours and his" child.

I agree with Stealth2 on his statement "you will have little argument about his being a good person - he was good enough for you to sleep with".

You have no right whatsoever to keep this man from being a part of the child's life. If you choose to not put his name on the birth certificate as the father of the child, he can come back later and have it added.

Stop being vendictive, as that is what I see. You loved him enough to have sex with him and now the two of you have a child on the way. You will mess that child's life up if you continue along the path you are going. THINK ABOUT THE CHILD FIRST. Your needs and wants and the needs and wants of the father should be last.

The child needs and deserves a loving mother and a loving father...no exception.

 

[vanilla_girl]

The father has 2 children from a previous marriage (he is now back with his ex-wife). They both have child neglect charges against them in the past. CPS was called by the police (after they were called to the house for domestic violence) becasue their trailer was "filthy." I have all of their police/FIA reports. The last time (and only time) I was in her house, the ceiling was caving in the living room and mushrooms were growing inside. When me and the father were together and the kids would come over for the weekends, they would always have some sort of cold or sickness. I think there is a mold problem. There would be no room for my child if he took her there for visitation. It is a 3 bedroom single-wide trailer and she already has 3 children. Can I request that her house be tested for mold before I release my child to stay there? Is there a law that requires a bedroom for my child to stay while visiting?

On a different note...As for moving now, I have a career where I currently live and make decent money. I have excellent benefits (100% pre-natal & birth/hospital coverage). I will also get 4 to 6 weeks paid maternity leave. If I have to move I will, but I would like to stay until the baby is born and move during my maternity leave. That is why I wanted to find out exactly what the laws are. If it doesn't matter where I have the baby, I will stay. But remember, he will not have his name on the BC until he proves he is the father (if he chooses to do so) until the baby is about 6 months (I think). So before that time, he is not recognized as the father and he will not have any rights (correct?). By the time he gets rights, I will be long gone.