Update to ugh post ...

[wileybunch]

What is the name of your state? NV

My thread (https://forum.freeadvice.com/showthread.php?t=392996) was already closed so posting an update here ....
Husband called daughter this morning and said hold onto the tickets, he'll get back to her tonight w/a decision. Asked how long show was, she didn't know. He didn't tell her to find out so was supposed to call after school to find that out so we could make decision.

I told him which way I was leaning this morning and why and that was to go after her show (DH thought it was ~1 hr long), but we didn't have a lot of time to talk and he wasn't articulating his choice, but said my reasons made sense. So he was supposed to call and get the info and then let her know he would call her tonight.

He called her after school, asked how long show was then said OK, be prepared to leave after the show.



He's really got a lot on his plate right now and just wants things to go away so he totally missed the step about us making a decision. He thought what I said this morning is what I wanted to do, but I was just thinking out loud. He tends to get forgetful and mix things up when he's under a lot of stress (kinda frustrating).

There is no real opportunity now to get Mom to put the make up time and alternating spring break in writing any time soon.

 

[Bloopy]

There is no real opportunity now to get Mom to put the make up time and alternating spring break in writing any time soon.

Sorry. But I think using the magic show to get that stuff in writing was silly.

It would only puff up Mom as the hero looking out for the child's interests and Dad like a bully taking things from the child to nail Mom.

Mom will want a favor soon.

 

[penelope10]

Sorry. But I think using the magic show to get that stuff in writing was silly.

It would only puff up Mom as the hero looking out for the child's interests and Dad like a bully taking things from the child to nail Mom.

Mom will want a favor soon.

I honestly still believe that in the future it would be a good idea to find another means of communication except by telephone regarding visitation changes.

Like I said, my ex and I use email. Even if discussions over the phone take place about visitation schedules, it's still a good idea to send the other party the agreement(or what they thought the agreement was)so there is some kind of documentation and to avoid future misunderstandings.

I agree with Bloopy, Mom will be contacting you guys when she wants a favor......

 

[wileybunch]

Sorry. But I think using the magic show to get that stuff in writing was silly.

It would only puff up Mom as the hero looking out for the child's interests and Dad like a bully taking things from the child to nail Mom.

Mom will want a favor soon.

Mom has had those open items pending so I disagree it was silly and Dad already spoke to daughter earlier in the day when she got home from school as I mentioned so daughter knows it was Dad's decision to let her go. (So actually a silver lining to DH goofing and giving daughter his decision earlier in the day after all.)

And, I actually have an update ....

Husband spoke to ex tonight and let her know her voice mail was over the top and that he's really had enough of the drama and .... wait for it ... SHE APOLOGIZED! This is a first!
She said that she knew she was out of line and that she's going to try not to do that any more, getting all "freaky" as she put it. She has never ever apologized for anything so there's progress!

And, she said she would put the other things in writing in emails to close out those open items.

 

[wileybunch]

I honestly still believe that in the future it would be a good idea to find another means of communication except by telephone regarding visitation changes.

They do as little as possible by phone. Sometimes it's unavoidable b/c she calls when daughter is with us an announces a change to daughter (such as the Sunday night church event that wasn't).

I agree with Bloopy, Mom will be contacting you guys when she wants a favor......

No risk in that guess. She asks for a favor about every week or so. Which wouldn't be any problem if it were give and take, but she's not very good about giving. It would be best for the kids if she COULD, but if she can't, then it has to be more rigid than it would otherwise b/c she will steamroll.

I think that one counseling session she's been to so far must have helped. LOL

 

[penelope10]

They do as little as possible by phone. Sometimes it's unavoidable b/c she calls when daughter is with us an announces a change to daughter (such as the Sunday night church event that wasn't).

No risk in that guess. She asks for a favor about every week or so. Which wouldn't be any problem if it were give and take, but she's not very good about giving. It would be best for the kids if she COULD, but if she can't, then it has to be more rigid than it would otherwise b/c she will steamroll.

I think that one counseling session she's been to so far must have helped. LOL

LOL too---Ex has gone through years of counseling and still thinks he's GOD'S GIFT. Bless his thorny little heart, that's why we communicate via email!