Update

[momself]

What is the name of your state? Missouri

I haven't been on here much lately but i wanted to give an update on what's been going on. My ex received supervised visitation and that started the day after Thanksgiving. It's only one hour a day twice a week. Elizabeth has done fine at the visits and i'm glad for that. She only cried the first day, but she's doing great now.

The police investigation is at a standstill right now, but DFS has told me that they have and will keep an open file on my ex due to substantial evidence they have found.

My ex ended up consenting to the order of protection last week and i think that is in effect for one year, not sure.

I am confused as to what i should do next week with it being Christmas. The visits are Monday and Thursday afternoons for an hour each, but that means that he won't get to see Little Beth (my new nickname for her now!) at Christmas.

I have told the lady that supervises the visits that if she will supervise several extra hours next week and if my ex wants to and is able to spend more time with her next week, i will bring her in for that. Everyone tells me that I should just follow the court order to a "T" and not give him anymore time than that, but regardless of what has happened to my oldest daughter, he is still the father of my youngest daughter. What do you think?

As it stands right now, he won't get to see her on Christmas or Christmas Eve. The superviser of the visits won't be there on those two days.

Merry Christmas!!!

 

[njmom]

just a suggestion.......

can't you find someone who is willing to be a third party and at least give him the option? I am assuming that you have a RO against him, and that is why I suggested a third party. I completely understand why someone would tell you to stick to the order, however, it doesn't mention anything about the holidays just yet does it? Tis the season to be jolly, my suggestion would be, do whatever you can to keep the peace and at least give him the opportunity! Merry Christmas to you too!

 

[momself]

i had thought about having a third party supervise and apparently so did he.

When i picked her up from visitation yesterday, the supervisor informed me that he wants to take her out of town with his family for a couple hours on christmas day with a member of his family supervising. I told her i didn't think this was a good idea, but that i am still going to bring her in for more time with him next week if he wants. I guess we'll see what happens now.

 

[stealth2]

Do you have a family friend who would be willing to supervise for a couple of hours on Christmas Eve (not quite as disruptive as the Day)? I don't think I would agree to a few hours out of town with his family, myself.

 

[coolmomof4]

No, personally, I don't agree with that one either. We've been down the same road, with family members on ncp's side supervising. This is what happened to us...

We thought the family was supervising, when in reality, they totally disagreed with the supervision part of the order and allowed her to take him alone whenever she wanted. Child has been lost, completely unsupervised, left alone, hurt (cut his head open), several times. But in her opinion, they were only a few times out of the many over the years that she was alone with him. She basically said "So what? Those things happen to kids. He's been fine all the other times." After that, we never could enforce it and a judge even took the supervision part out of the order! No one said anything makes sense!

 

[momself]

momma- I am trying to find a family/friend that would be willing to supervise so he can see her that day. His family has hired a new attorney($500 per hour) for him for the abuse charges that may be filed in the near future. That leads me to believe that they don't think he is capable of sexual abuse of a child. I didn't either. But now i do. Boy do i feel like a fool.

coolmom- I spoke with a friend last night and he informed me that my ex could use that against me in court in the future also. I was told if i let her go with him for xmas that the courts would not order the visits to be supervised anymore because i trusted him enough on xmas to let her go, so why should there be supervised visits? I had even asked the supervisor at the beginning to change her diaper or have his mom change her diaper at the visits.