Visitation around school schedule - Year Round bad?

[MBMom]

What is the name of your state? Oklahoma

Has anyone who has school age children on this site had experience with long distance child custody visitation that also works with a year round school schedule? If so, do you happen to know if my son being in year round school can play against me? I know the schedule is a lot different than a traditional school schedule. Instead of having three months off in the summer, he would have August, December and April off.

 

[MomInNE]

Work against you?? In what way??
I know Wilson vs Wilson vistation schedule probably wouldn't work with year round schooling.

 

[nextwife]

Who decided on having him attend a year round school? Was it a mutual decision? Is there joint legal custody? Is a CO'd visitation schedule already in place?

 

[MBMom]

We haven't decided on him attending the year round school for sure yet. I live in California and his dad lives in Oklahoma. Both of us are wanting to have him during the school year, and currently the district I live in has all year round schools. I am supposed to propose a visitation schedule to his attorney and am going through figuring out what times he would have off school IF he should attend school here in CA. I was just curious is anyone had any experience with something similar. In your opinion or experience, would the fact that the school he would attend, should he be with me, is a year round school play against me?

Custody has not been determined yet, but will next month at trial. And no, there is no actual court ordered visitation schedule in place besides the status quo of what we were doing before which is only in place until the trial when the Judge determines visitation.

 

[nextwife]

I see one problem in that a working parent whose child has a traditional schedule, and has them during summer can sign them up for camp during the day while they are at work. What programs exist for a working parent residing in a traditional district for a month at a time in December and April? Man, such a schedule must play havoc with existing vistation schedules based on traditional school schedules.

And imagine a NCP who has one child in a traditonal school and the other in year round? He gets one parts of april december and August and the other maybe june and july?

 

[MBMom]

Well, so you understand our situation a little better. My son does have a brother, my younger son with my husband. My ex is not married, and has no plans to place my son in camp while he is working since he agreed to let my mom, who lives in Oklahoma keep him in the days during whatever his visitation turns out to be. **My mom has kept my son days while we both worked since shortly after he was born. He is only five and this would be the first time we've had to work with school schedules, whether traditional or non-traditional.

And, yes, I do imagine having one child in a traditional schedule while the other is in a non-traditional schedule. That's just one more reason why I think it's good for him to attend the school in the same district as his brother. (Of course, his brother is only two so he's not going to school yet.)

 

[MomInNE]

schooling

My daughter's father lives in NV and has children in year round schooling. My daughter is in traditional schooling. It is havoc trying to find when they are both off school for visitation.

 

[nextwife]

My daughter's been in various summer day camp programs since she was 4 (that one was 5 blocks way). It has been wonderful for her, swimming lessons, sports (including portable rock wall climbing with harnesses and helmuts), songs and cook-outs, religious education. Can't imagine trying to do camp in April or December! What a loss.

I can't imagine us Wisconsinites ever liking year round schools, with two months off during crappy weather months. What good is being off in April? And one can barely leave the house some Decembers!!!!!

 

[MBMom]

Well, believe it or not, some studies have shown that a year round school schedule can benefit a child academically since there is not a long 3-month span of time between the school years. It does understandably intefere with what some consider their traditional summer vacation. But, another way I believe my son can benefit is that he gets to see his dad for longer periods THROUGHOUT the year instead of just one long visit in the summer and a couple weeks around holidays or spring break. Besides, all you seem to be concerned about is my son not getting to participate in any summer camps...is there any concern for how often he can see his dad in there? Also, before you criticize him spending time with my mom, since he was a baby, he's had a playgroup organized by my mom and some other women who were in my son's Mother's Day Out program to get together several times during the week when the children are not in school so they can get a chance to get out and play with each other. They do many different things and each time are sure to make it fun for the boys.

And barely leave the house in December?! That much more time he can exclusively spend with his dad!

So before you go criticizing me like I'm wanting this to ONLY benefit me, maybe you should give it a little more thought.

And for the record, my son is currently in swimming lessons and tennis lessons. AND has participated in rock climbing classes. I guarantee you he doesn't sit at home like a lump on a log.

 

[stealth2]

Noone was criticizing you - lighten up. Trying to work visitation with two different schedules CAN be difficult - that's what's being said.

I happen to agree that it could be advantageous since the kid would have blocks of time spread out through the year with his Dad. The question is how it would be worked out, especially since transportation may (MAY, not WILL) be more expensive.

 

[MBMom]

I understand what you're saying, Stealth. It pisses me off when people try so hard to find fault in something I only mean to be best for my son. I have already made a schedule that allows him visitation with his dad almost every time he is given a school break. I've managed to make it where he can spend Thanksgiving with one of us every other year as well as Christmas and New Years. Then of course he has Spring Break and possibly Easter if it falls during his April month off. There is also one more week he has off, which I included to see his dad. I have also figured out that there would be more trips, which in turn will cost more. I've proposed to pay for most of the trips, but requested that his dad pay for some. This may not happen, and if he has to pay child support, then I wouldn't request that. I'm trying to make this a best possible arrangement for my son, his dad and myself. My main concern is not whether or not my son will be able to participate in certain activities that don't even include time with his dad.

I appreciate ALL the input...I think I've covered most everything I should although I like to get others' input since sometimes people looking in can catch things I forgot to.

My only question about the whole thing was if anyone had experiences working with a year round schedule and visitation before, how and if it worked out for them, and their opinions, of course.

 

[nextwife]

I wasn't criticizing you. Just thinking out loud. Many Decembers are sub-zero for most of the month, and April is sometimes non-stop rain. Of the three months you named, the only decent one is August.

I guess we Wisconsinites so cherish our summers here that I can't imagine keeping them in school during that time (not to mention the enormous cost of retrofiting so many old schools with AC, which only the administrative offices usually have). The festivals, outdoor concerts and such are packed into the summer from beginning to end. The various centers and programs my child attends are simply not staffed or open until late spring (partially because the weather is adverse, and partially because they rely on college students who staff them after they are done with school for that semester). So much is unavailable until end of May. I think the state's tourism economy would collapse if we had year round schools. Memorial Day to Labor day is the entire make or break season for certain businesses.

Well, if you feel year round school is more beneficial to Dad, what does Dad think about it?

 

[TNBSMommy]

I just wanted to comment on the year round school issues, Nextwife, you asked who decided on year round school, in my state, the county I live in went to year round school at the beginning of last year, so if you live in the county, you don't have a choice.I am not trying to start any arguements, just pointing out that you may not always have a choice. The year round was tried in a couple of counties, and had such good reviews they started adapting it in surrounding counties. We also have the summer camps, for instance the one I put my children in this summer is a gymnastics place, they have their programs for school age kids both in the summer breaks, the two weeks they are off in Dec. and then again the two weeks they are off in Apr.They have been trying to go outside quite a bit now, but with all the rain we have had, lately it hasnt been to much different than the way I imagine it would be in Dec. They merely plan lots of indoor activities for the children.

MBMom, I hope that a year round school doesnt work against you, you cant exactly choose how the school board decides to have the year. Maybe offer one of the three months he has off and a week or two in the other months? I would imagine he would maybe be more agreeable to having the longer visitations throughout the year. I wish I had an answer for you, but my ex only gets two weeks in the summer, and every other weekend. Good luck to you!