Visitation denied...Again!

[kittiepaws]

It's Worth It

What is the name of your state? Mississippi

I havn't talked to my two kids for 8 months now. All I get is an answering machine and/or cursed at by ex. I send gifts for birthdays, christmas, and various other times throught the year. I pay child support without fail.

Summer is coming around the bend and I'm getting frustrated. By the way, we have joint legal and my kids and ex live in Ohio.

I know to file contempt if she doesn't send them for the summer and to file contempt for no phone calls (it is in my decree that I get 2 days a week phone time for 2 hours each day). But, my question is does this really do anything? All my research shows that contempt my go back to court and the non-custodial gets a nice increase in CS, ex gets a slap on the hands, and the problem remains. At this point, I could care less about getting anybody in trouble, pointing fingers, etc. ALL I want is to have a relationship with my kids.

hypothetical scenario: If a non-cust parent gets a child during summer visitation and when the summer is over does NOT send the kids back, that non-cust parent could be in trouble for kidnapping. FACT. If on the other hand the cust parent fails to send the child for visitation (as court allows), wouldn't that be the same form of kidnapping? JUST A THOUGHT!

Any comments would be appreciated.

I'm in Texas
I had problems with my ex not letting me have my kids. I DID file contempt on him....I did what my attorney told me to and had a sherriff aid my brother in picking them up and he he struggled with letting them go. I gave a copy of the papers to my brother that showed I had the right to have them....that showed I had the right to APPOINT someone else to pick them up...a NOTARIZED letter giving my brother permission to pick them up. WE FILED CONTEMPT and the judge threatened to throw my ex husband in jail for 5 months if he didn't pay a $500 fine to the courts. I don't think my ex has ever written a check so fast in his life. It was enough to make him realize that there were strict laws about this stuff. He made the judge mad because he said on the stand that he would "do whatever he wanted with his son". Don't let your ex get by with this. THEY ARE YOUR KIDS TOO AND THEY DESERVE TO SEE YOU!! If the courts have ordered it...I don't think it matters what state your in...you have a good case against your ex and $500 fine is not a slap on the wrist if she's a single mom. (Trust me). If you've got proof of your calls...ie phone bills of 1 minute attempted calls....then you could be building enough of a case against her to possibly as for Primary conservatorship....not sure since you live in a different state...but hey...it's worth it if you want them.

 

[nicetryadmin]

Because my ex is very "money hungry" and has told me over and over that if I take her back to court, prepare for an increase. I feel like I'm being extorted!

Your ex is like quite a few female CP's who pull this crap: A FREAKING DUMBASS (no, that is not a slam against every single female CP!). Stop letting this dumb broad treat you like a rug.

She can not file for a child support increase anytime she gets an itch to do so. There are statutes in place that allow increase under certain circumstances.

 

[nicetryadmin]

I totally understand and havn't looked at it this way, thanks. I am planning on driving up to Ohio and get the kids on the day the order specifies for summer.

And you need to get documented proof that you showed up at the location and were denied visitation. Go to a nearby store and by a candy bar and get a reciept. Make sure the reciept indicates time and date and make sure the place is in the immediate area. Also, file an incident report with the police. Make sure you have the court order with you to show them. All of this shows a "neutral party", per se, to show that you did show up at the specified location for your parenting time.

Yes I try every phone call (talking to machine) to arrange for the summer.

I would also send a letter, certified w/return reciept AND regular mail, stating your parenting time. Also in that certified letter, include the certified ticket number (you should get a handful of these from the post office and keep at home) and also indicate in that letter you are sending it certified w/return reciept and first-class mail.

 

[mifelix]

Because I don't know if my daughter and son ever receive my phone messages or if they are aware that the gifts I send to their home are from me, I have contacted the local florist to have a gift basket sent my daughter's school for her and my son. On the note, I had the florist write that I miss and love them both and that I would like them to call me because I have been trying to call and can never get through to them.

Was this is good move on my part?

I am trying desperately to let my daughter and son know that I have not given up on them and that I love and think of them often. I just didn't know of another way to let them know. I haven't heard anything yet, so I hope they get the message.

 

[bononos]

Because I don't know if my daughter and son ever receive my phone messages or if they are aware that the gifts I send to their home are from me, I have contacted the local florist to have a gift basket sent my daughter's school for her and my son. On the note, I had the florist write that I miss and love them both and that I would like them to call me because I have been trying to call and can never get through to them.

Was this is good move on my part?

I am trying desperately to let my daughter and son know that I have not given up on them and that I love and think of them often. I just didn't know of another way to let them know. I haven't heard anything yet, so I hope they get the message.

Good thinking!
Maybe worth a shot.. ask the florist to include a pack of stamps and envelopes in an arrangement and bill you for it, on the note, give your address, tell the kids to leave the stamps and envelopes at school, at lunch or recess they can write to you and ask the secretary to put the letters in the out-going mail. or (sorry I forget their ages) on the walk home from the bus stop, put it in the mailbox.

 

[stealth2]

2 hours is alot if could actually get the opportunity to have 2 hours. It is in my decree that I get 2 hours of phone time on Sundays and Thursdays between 6pm and 8pm.

I suspect that you're misinterpreting this. It is very likely that you are permitted phone time DURING those 2 hours, not for the entire 2 hours.

 

[Ithildriel]

I suspect that you're misinterpreting this. It is very likely that you are permitted phone time DURING those 2 hours, not for the entire 2 hours.

Perhaps, but misinterpreting or not, he is calling during this time and she is consistently not picking up and letting the kids talk to him.

 

[stealth2]

I know. But he also needs to prove it with documentation.

 

[Ithildriel]

I know. But he also needs to prove it with documentation.

"It's easy to document my lost phone time, It is every single Sunday and Thursday from last August until now. I can dig up phone bills with connects for 1 min. to her number...you bet."

Would this not be pretty solid proof that he called and got her answering machine, or does he need more than that?

 

[joe32]

I dont know if this holds up where you are but my sister has a similar court order in place stating that while her daughter is on visitation with her father she must be able to call and recieve calls from her mom every other day. Last summer that order was not being followed and my sister was able to have the sherriff go to her x home to inforce the order and she was able to talk to her daughter.Also bringing a sherrif to her door to pick up the kids for the summer would be a good idea.I would also go for the contempt thing because the longer you wait on that the worse it will look in court they will wonder what took you so long.When was the last time your cs was raised in my state it can only be raised every three years so check that out you may have time to file contempt without her being able to ask for the increase.

 

[stealth2]

"It's easy to document my lost phone time, It is every single Sunday and Thursday from last August until now. I can dig up phone bills with connects for 1 min. to her number...you bet."

Would this not be pretty solid proof that he called and got her answering machine, or does he need more than that?

Assuming he actually can do that, it would likely go a long way. But my ex claimed the same thing. Until it came time to put his money where his mouth was and he couldn't. But I was able to provide MY phone records showing where the kids called him every blessed Sunday as ordered.