Visitation rights

[Dailylatte]

i was divorced in alaska and moved to oregon. my question is does my ex-husband have to follow every visitation rights that we agreed on in the divorce. and if so what can i do about him not taking the kids when he wanted these visitation dates! we got a dissolution of marriage (with children). i do not think he should be able to pick and choose so far he has missed two visitations.

 

[Grandma B]

Did you have the court's permission to move with the children following the divorce, and was the visitation set knowing you'd be moving?

 

[Dailylatte]

visitiation rights

yes, every thing has been great but for some reason he is not following visitation date he desided on. do i have any say in him not taking the kids for the times in the divorse agreement.?

 

[morning_angel]

No, as hard as it may be on the kids, and as frustrating as it is for you, you cannot force him to take his visitation, nor can you deprive him of visitation as "punishment."

If he is coming for the kids from Alaska, perhaps it is difficult for him to manage ($) taking advantage of each and every visitation. Try to be supportive of his visitation when he is able to take the kids. You should not, however, be forced to make excuses for them. Tell him that <i>he</i> will have to explain to the children.

Good Luck!

 

[Grandma B]

While working out a parenting plan, my ex SIL was told by the court's mediator that he had an obligation to take the children at the appointed times because the mother had a right to be able to plan her life according to the schedule. I agree with the premise, but it would be very hard to enforce. Lack of exercising visitation would, however, be grounds for having the visitation reduced, though I doubt missing twice would be sufficient cause.

When he cancelled visitations, my daughter did make him tell the children himself that he wouldn't be coming. His response--"Sure, make ME the bad guy"!!

[Edited by Grandma B on 06-25-2001 at 08:58 AM]

 

[freeride]

aaaaaa!!!!!!! i see there is cp,s out there that has it like me,set specific dates and the ncp not showing!
AND you all didn't mention to that it can be grounds for change in custody if the ncp,s petition the court on not letting the ncp,s have the child whenever they [decide] they want them

 

[Grandma B]

Freeride said: "aaaaaa!!!!!!! i see there is cp,s out there that has it like me,set specific dates and the ncp not showing!
AND you all didn't mention to that it can be grounds for change in custody if the ncp,s petition the court on not letting the ncp,s have the child whenever they [decide] they want them"

Wrong. It is grounds for change in custody when ncp's petition the court on not letting the ncp's have the child DURING THE TIMES STATED IN THE VISITATION SCHEDULE.

 

[freeride]

DURING THE TIMES STATED IN THE VISITATION SCHEDULE.

YES,YES!!thats it .thats the problem/ncp,s that [dont] go by the-- THE VISITATION SCHEDULE
THEY go by their own schedule
whenever they [decide] they want the visit

[Dailylatte-i do not think he should be able to pick and choose {so far} he has missed two visitations.]

on not letting the ncp's have the child,It is grounds for change in custody/////////////////// SO I GUESS WE SHOULD LOOK AT IT THIS WAY,THERE IS NO SET SCH.AND NOTHING TO PICK AND CHOOSE ABOUT,ITS WHEN THE NCP WANTS THE VISIT,THE CP [HAS] TO GIVE THE VISIT...

 

[Grandma B]

Sorry. I realize you didn't appreciate the advice given to you on another post, but this is a different situation.

 

[freeride]

to Grandma B/sorry to have struck a nerve w/u,
but i feel the same as on me,he set specific dates in the degree to HAVE STATED,nov.24th&apr.24th& didn't show for either one

"when he wanted these visitation dates!"
"he is not following visitation dates[he]decided on"
"ncp have to follow every visitation?" ---[NO right???]
"ncp pick and choose?" ----[YES right???]
/// I realize you didn't appreciate the advice given///
YES I HAVE,YOU DONT HAVE TO SHOUT @ ME
///Freeride said: "///nor this
SORRY Grandma B,IM JUST AGGRAVATED.ok

 

[Grandma B]

If I'd been shouting at you, the entire post would have been in caps. I used them for emphasis only.

I do believe someone could use anger management training. Get over your bitterness and vindictiveness toward your ex, get on with your life, and encourage your children's relationship with their father. It's not about you or your ex--it's about them.