Visitation - Weekends

[Badhead]

Alright you guys - you all made excellent points. Excellent....

I gave this alot of thought over the past few days (actually after Chitchat's blood was boiling), and realized what I was doing to my son. Something I don't want to do.

He spent the weekend with the g/f and survived...I did as well.

As for the father, he came back from being gone Friday morning until last night (Monday). But, whatever.

Yes, switching weekends would have worked most likely - but they had a point to prove to me. And they did.

Seriously, I stand with my head bowed down.....in shame. You guys are absolutely right. My son has to deal with this situation and I'm being totally unfair.

Not gonna do that anymore.

And, as far as not trusting the Dad's judgment - you're right - I made a mistake in marrying him. But, I'm not gonna let you all rip me a new one going on about that one or the fact that we had a child together.

Thanks for all your comments. They've really had a huge impact on me. And one that will have a positive impact on my son.



Badhead

 

[stealth2]

Good for you. But more - good for your son.

Noone's going to rip you a new one. We're all in the positions we are because we made lousy choices in our partners. What we *will* rip you for is putting your (and that's a generic, global "you") wants & needs ahead of the kid's.

You're doing fine.

 

[chatkat]

Good for you!!

I'm so happy for you badhead and I think it is great that although you could have taken the advise you received here and ignored it as I believe many do. You could have gotten mad about the things people were saying and just kept arguing, which I have also seen people do.
It seems instead that you stepped back from your situation and looked at another perspective. That takes a lot of initiative on your part and I totally respect you for that!
I also very much repect the fact that you came back to let us know how things were going and the decision that you made.
You put your son first!

I applaud you !!

Do remember though that there will be many trying times and you may not always like what is going on or what gets said at dads house. Keep the communication open with your son and
know that kids will sometimes try to put one parent against the other, which means you should keep the communication open at dad's too.
I know it is hard, and you know where to come if you need to vent. LOL

Chat

 

[tammy8]

Hooray for YOU!

Would you become my stepkids bm?????

 

[3kidsmom]

Good for you Badhead!!

You coming and updating us all took a lot!!

I am happy for YOU and YOUR (collectively speaking of course) Son, that you are working on overcoming your dislike of his father's choice in a companion!

Good for you!! It is refreshing to know that sometimes we DO have people who consider other points of view!! You will be a better person, and a better MOM because of it!

 

[Badhead]

You all are very kind. Once I realized what you were saying was true....I felt really bad for my son.

The LAST THING I want to do is make him feel worse than he already does about the situation. He's made comments in the past about mommy and daddy getting married again. Even though he has no recollection of it. He was just a baby when we split.

But, you are absolutely right, in that I have to keep the communication open. I need to quit "bad mouthing" the girlfriend, and instead give her some kudos for some things. I've said in the past how grateful I am that my ex picked a woman who wasn't all screwed up and a big drinker or drug user, etc.

She certainly isn't that. She seems to take interest in our son (sometimes she oversteps, however). And in the past, I've discussed those individual situations with my ex, who agreed with me. But she is there for my son, and my ex must be happy with her, or he wouldn't be with her...certainly not for this long of a time. They are talking marriage now and having their own family. Another hill to climb when the time comes.

But, I guarantee you, I'll help my child adjust to that situation. You really opened my eyes, even though I didn't want to and felt really bad about it.

I deeply love and care for my son. I don't want to hurt him or cause more heartache than necessary.

Badhead