Visitation

[winbenkat]

What is the name of your state?FL
I was divorced in NC when my ex was living in FL. The separation agreement was not specific regarding visitation because of the distance between us, it just stated reasonable and liberal. Now we live in the same city and he wants them every other weekend from Saturday morning to Sunday at 6 p.m. My question is, can I do anything to have his every other weekend occur from Friday to Sunday, rather than Saturday to Sunday, or is it totally at his discretion when he sees his kids or even if he does?

 

[haiku]

maybe he works fridays? And no matter what is ordered, it is totally up to him whether he exercises those rights fully or not.

 

[stealth2]

How about asking him?

 

[justlilolme]

What is the name of your state?FL
I was divorced in NC when my ex was living in FL. The separation agreement was not specific regarding visitation because of the distance between us, it just stated reasonable and liberal. Now we live in the same city and he wants them every other weekend from Saturday morning to Sunday at 6 p.m. My question is, can I do anything to have his every other weekend occur from Friday to Sunday, rather than Saturday to Sunday, or is it totally at his discretion when he sees his kids or even if he does?

Loose language such as reasonable and liberal is just never a good idea when it comes to custody/visitation orders.

I do not think that what your ex is asking for is at all unreasonable, and I would dare to guess that most people wouldn't think that it is unreasonable. That is what a Judge would have to take into consideration if your ex claimed that you were attempting to frustrate the child/father relationship and not allowing him to see the child at all.

You don't necessarily have to agree to the times he proposes but if you don't then be prepared to show why it was so unreasonable. You can request he takes the child from Friday to Sunday but if he doesn't then just be happy that your child has an involved father.

The best solution is to file for a modification (or to prepare an agreed modification with the ex) that very SPECIFICALLY spells out visitation dates and times and such.

 

[winbenkat]

maybe he works fridays? And no matter what is ordered, it is totally up to him whether he exercises those rights fully or not.

No, the reason he doesn't want the kids on Fridays is because his girlfriend needs to "unwind" from her stressful week at work (or so he told me). So, he basically has the kids 36 hours twice a month. And, yes, I do know that's more than some kids get. He's even said that I have custody and legally he doesn't have to see them at all. Which I know is true, but how about morally, ethically, etc. I guess he can tell his kids when they're grown and they ask why he didn't want to see them that he did the legal thing by ocassionally paying child support (4 months out of 24), and not ever seeing them. I'm sure that will make for a really good relationship between them. In the end, that's his loss.

 

[casa]

No, the reason he doesn't want the kids on Fridays is because his girlfriend needs to "unwind" from her stressful week at work (or so he told me). So, he basically has the kids 36 hours twice a month. And, yes, I do know that's more than some kids get. He's even said that I have custody and legally he doesn't have to see them at all. Which I know is true, but how about morally, ethically, etc. I guess he can tell his kids when they're grown and they ask why he didn't want to see them that he did the legal thing by ocassionally paying child support (4 months out of 24), and not ever seeing them. I'm sure that will make for a really good relationship between them. In the end, that's his loss.

Unfortunately visitation is a Right, not an obligation. So regardless of whether or not you were successful in fighting him for the extra day- that wouldn't mean he'd use it. And if you then took it back to court again (at further time and expense) to have a clause put in that if he doesn't show up on friday- he forfeits...then he might not visit at all.

Trust me, it's not fun. My oldest's father was not in her life for a number of years. Eventually he came around (Thanks to his new wife) and now they have a relationship- but during the years they didn't...there wasn't much I could do about it.