Voluntary Relinquishment of Parental Rights

[MommieBear]

BoxcarBill- Voluntary Relinquishment of Parental Rights

What is the name of your state? Texas
First, I usually find most of the answers I need without having to ask. That is why I don't have many posts. This sight is very informative. Unfortunately, I haven't been able to find this. My ex-husband decided the last time we went to court 07/16/03, yesterday that we was going to give up his parental rights in leau of paying any increases in child support and maintaining insurance for our son. I had gone in for an increase and contemp of not providing me with insurance information. Our son was with him for his summer possession period, and after he announced to the judge and my attorney (he was pro-se) that he is giving up his rights, he told me that he would bring him by last night and that he was all mine. A guardian ad litem was appointed to determine the best interest of our son. I agreed to let him give up his rights, frankly if he feels that money is more important than our son, he doesn't deserve that right. My husband is going to adopt him, that was never a question. Now the Question-- Approxiametly how long do this process take in Texas? All parties are willing. The adoption is taking place simultaneously (the only way the judge would allow Ex to give up rights). I want to start preparing my son for what is about to happen with counseling, but don't want to do it until everything is about final. In case ex changes mind. Sorry so long.

 

[MommieBear]

Bump. Sorry just hoping someone has an answer. Thanks.

 

[mrseld]

I don't know the law in TX, but I was wondering if your son is old enough to tell you what he wants?

The reason I ask is because I am in the process of terminating my ex's parental rights (he's not willing) and my daughter (9 yrs.) said that she wants his rights terminated and that if he doesn't agree, she wants me to try to persuade the judge to "make daddy go away".

I was just wondering if your son said one way or the other what his preference is because if my daugher had said she didn't think this was a good idea, I wouldn't pursue it.

 

[Boxcarbill]

Re: BoxcarBill- Voluntary Relinquishment of Parental Rights

QUOTE]Originally posted by MommieBear
What is the name of your state? Texas
First, I usually find most of the answers I need without having to ask. That is why I don't have many posts. This sight is very informative. Unfortunately, I haven't been able to find this. My ex-husband decided the last time we went to court 07/16/03, yesterday that we was going to give up his parental rights in leau of paying any increases in child support and maintaining insurance for our son. I had gone in for an increase and contemp of not providing me with insurance information. Our son was with him for his summer possession period, and after he announced to the judge and my attorney (he was pro-se) that he is giving up his rights, he told me that he would bring him by last night and that he was all mine. A guardian ad litem was appointed to determine the best interest of our son. I agreed to let him give up his rights, frankly if he feels that money is more important than our son, he doesn't deserve that right. My husband is going to adopt him, that was never a question. Now the Question-- Approxiametly how long do this process take in Texas? All parties are willing. The adoption is taking place simultaneously (the only way the judge would allow Ex to give up rights). I want to start preparing my son for what is about to happen with counseling, but don't want to do it until everything is about final. In case ex changes mind. Sorry so long. [/QUOTE]

It depends. How busy is the lawyer; how busy is the court? How busy is the person who is conducting the social study. How busy is your husband to go to the sheriff's dept. or dept of public safety and get a fingerprint card done and make the request for his criminal background check? How prompt is the person doing the criminal background check on your husband.

As for service of process, is the father going to sign a waiver or his he going to be served? How long is he going to meditate of the Relinquishment before signing the Voluntary Affidavit of Reliquishment of Rights Or deciding not to sign? If he decides not to sign will the case be dropped or will you proceed under involuntary termination?

As to preparing your son. If he is 12 years or older he must sign an affidavit that he agrees to the adoption. So it would be a good idea to discuss this with your son before doing anything.

But everything goes without incident, it could concluded in six months.

 

[MommieBear]

My son is five soon to be six. Right now he doesn't know or truthfully I don't think would understand such a decision. When his father dropped him off back to me the other night he already said his good-byes and raced down the street. My son did not understand the concept of this at all. He has ADHD and ODD. Some of his concepts are not all there, we are working with a psychiatrist with these diagnoses and possibly more. At this point, even if the judge had said no way, his father would not continue a relationship with his son. We have had a lot of problems with his father, this is really what is best for our son. This way my husband can adopt him, as he has been with me his primary caregiver for the last three and a half almost four years. My son adores my husband. Sorry to add things that aren't legally relevant but it helps with how my son is seeing things right now.

 

[MommieBear]

Thanks BoxcarBill, I appreciate your time.

 

[ktarra617]

mommiebear, I can totally understand! my daughter is adhd with ODD aswell...I am also in Texas..its hard raising a child like this. My daughter is extremely bright but thinks she doesn't have to mind or do anything anyone tells her...

I wish you the best of luck with your adoption. Please let me know how it goes as I hope to soon be pursueing a stepparent adoption. My ex doesn't pay anything or do anything for his daughter he pops up every now and then just long enough to keep me from being able to file abandonment papers on him....

Good luck...

 

[MommieBear]

Thanks for your support Ktarra. It is difficult to raise these children, but in a lot of ways it can be very rewarding. We have our good days and bad. I will keep you posted as to how everything turns out. Although, his father is voluntarily giving up his rights. Thanks.

 

[annefan]

Re: BoxcarBill- Voluntary Relinquishment of Parental Rights

My ex-husband decided the last time we went to court 07/16/03, yesterday that we was going to give up his parental rights in leau of paying any increases in child support and maintaining insurance for our son. I had gone in for an increase and contemp of not providing me with insurance information.

Damn, I hope all parties genuinely understand what you are about to do. It sounds like the father is reacting emotionally to having child support increased and you are reacting to his reaction. If you give it some thought, ponder how you came to the decision to 'mutually agree' to terminate his rights when you felt compelled so recently to petition for an increase in child support?

 

[MommieBear]

annefan-- I appreciate your concern. But I had stated in another post that there have been a lot of difficulties with his father in the past. With that being said, my ex had consulted an attorney about the ramifications of this a couple of times during the last couple of months, by his own admission to the court and to my attorney. I understand what I am in for, and so does he. He unfortunately is not an emotional man, I have known him for the last ten years. He has never done anything out of emotion. Once he makes up his mind about something, there is no changing it. He has cut off all ties with his family, I am their only source to see their grandson/nephew. It has been this way for over a year. So, under different circumstances, I would totally agree with you. But in this instance, It really is the best for my son. Thank you for your concern.

 

[annefan]

It's just very disturbing to hear of any parent terminating his or her rights because of an issue other than abuse (or death of the parent).

I'll just plug my opinion here: I think in order for all parties concerned to be absolutely certain termination is what they really want, they might try 'practicing' the termination for a period of time and then make the decision whether they want to proceed. This practicing would include non-contact on the part of the non-custodial parent, and non-acceptance of child support on the part of the custodial. At that point, an informed and best decision could be made.

Again, just my opinion.

Termination is a very drastic move.

 

[KCMR]

It's just very disturbing to hear of any parent terminating his or her rights because of an issue other than abuse (or death of the parent).

I'll just plug my opinion here: I think in order for all parties concerned to be absolutely certain termination is what they really want, they might try 'practicing' the termination for a period of time and then make the decision whether they want to proceed. This practicing would include non-contact on the part of the non-custodial parent, and non-acceptance of child support on the part of the custodial. At that point, an informed and best decision could be made.

Again, just my opinion.

Termination is a very drastic move.

Very drastic.

 

[sarahandbabies]

Very drastic.

Of course it can be, but in some cases it is for the best. This post is very interesting because I too am looking for a TPR. Xh has not paid cs for about 1 year, despite a recent contempt action against him. He also has not visited in more than 3 months.

I can understand some want to TPR just out of hate, but that is not the case with all. My xh talks very bad about me and dh. He does many things to put us down so he can look better in the kids (4 and 5) eyes. All his lies and accusations are not only hurting the children psychologically, but ulitimately will ruin his relationship with them. But, he doesn't see it that way. I don't know if you can actually call it abuse, but somedays, when I have to answer questions like, "Mommy, why did you steal us away from daddy?" or, "Daddy says you are not my real parents, him and MommyD are.." it certainly does feel like it. Dh and I do our best to never talk bad about their dad, we know it would be wrong.

I didn't mean to steal her post, just wanted to point out- sometimes TPR is in the best interest of the child. My children are much more secure and happy these last 3 months without xh. When they are of age, and have a desire to get to know him, then I will support their desire. For now, we would like to give them a secure, comfortable start in life and that is best done without him.

 

[dakoto70]

Agreement

I also agree that they are times that it is " in the best interest" of the child to go ahead and terminate parrntsl rightds. What I don't agree with is that there needs to be someone else willing to adopt them before this can happen, in most cases anyway. What if the CP learned their lesson and didn't want to be bothered by another spouse? I feel like it is forcing someone else on the child(ren). JMHO.