waiting for paternity test results

[whitedoveh]

What is the name of your state?Ohio

To update you, today we had visitation with our grandson for 6 hrs. That's all we were allowed by the court until the paternity test gets back. One more week and hopefully that part will be settled. I think it already is in our minds. It's so sad though, she has been able to keep our grandson from his Dad for 3 months and there is nothing he can do. The lawyer says sit tight and we are, but it is soooo agonizing. My son is going to file for full custody, hoping he will at least get every weekend and 50/50 custody. When she brings him for us to pick him up he is all smiles. When she picks him up, he cries and doesn't want to go with her. It doesn't make us too comfortable. We have nothing on her.....but we wonder why he doesn't want to go with her. What can we do?

I know it would be very hard to prove anything on her. He looks healthy enough. He is 2 and a half years old and doesn't talk much. That worries me. But the fact that he cries when she picks him up is very devastating.

Any advice or encouragement here would be much appreciated. And don't scold me for saying "we"..... because his Grandpa and I love him just as much as his Dad....and we are totally involved in this childs life.

 

[BelizeBreeze]

and if your son ISN'T found to be the father?

 

[whitedoveh]

well, you can look at the baby pics of our son and our grandson and there is no doubt whatsoever, but yes.....we will wait for the paternity test this week

 

[LdiJ]

What is the name of your state?Ohio

To update you, today we had visitation with our grandson for 6 hrs. That's all we were allowed by the court until the paternity test gets back. One more week and hopefully that part will be settled. I think it already is in our minds. It's so sad though, she has been able to keep our grandson from his Dad for 3 months and there is nothing he can do. The lawyer says sit tight and we are, but it is soooo agonizing. My son is going to file for full custody, hoping he will at least get every weekend and 50/50 custody. When she brings him for us to pick him up he is all smiles. When she picks him up, he cries and doesn't want to go with her. It doesn't make us too comfortable. We have nothing on her.....but we wonder why he doesn't want to go with her. What can we do?

I know it would be very hard to prove anything on her. He looks healthy enough. He is 2 and a half years old and doesn't talk much. That worries me. But the fact that he cries when she picks him up is very devastating.

Any advice or encouragement here would be much appreciated. And don't scold me for saying "we"..... because his Grandpa and I love him just as much as his Dad....and we are totally involved in this childs life.

Assuming that the paternity test will indicate that he is the father...I have to say that you really need to be looking at things a little more realistically/practically.

Don't read so much into the fact that the child cries when mom picks him up.

I really think that the "filing for full custody so that you hope you get 50/50" is not a very wise move strategically. It just racks up the hostility to the highest possible level, immediately....and means that mom isn't likely to cooperate with an agreement.....nor is it likely that your son would get every weekend...mom is entitled to some weekend time too.

I know that many people believe that strategy is a good one...but I have seen it backfire on alot of people....plus it just guarantees a expensive court battle.

 

[whitedoveh]

You could be right. I had thought about further angering her with demanding full custody.

The weekend thing though....she is employed at the daycare where he is enrolled and she gets to see him 24 hrs a day through the week....so I don't think it would matter whether or not she got any weekend time.

 

[LdiJ]

You could be right. I had thought about further angering her with demanding full custody.

The weekend thing though....she is employed at the daycare where he is enrolled and she gets to see him 24 hrs a day through the week....so I don't think it would matter whether or not she got any weekend time.

It honestly does matter. She has a family too and the children deserve the opportunity to spend time with both sets of extended family. In addition, although she sees them all day at daycare, its not the same kind of "quality time" that is available on weekends. I honestly don't think your son is going to be able to convince a judge to give him every weekend. He may be able to get the 1st, 3rd and 5th...or he might be able to get three a month...but I just don't think that there is any chance that a judge will give him EVERY weekend....and honestly its more likely to be either the 1st, 3rd and 5th, or every other weekend.

 

[whitedoveh]

Still more questions in our minds here. When speaking of weekends, since he is not enrolled in school and day care is not a "requirement"....is there a possibility my son would get Friday through Monday every other weekend?

Also, our first hearing will be before a magistrate. If they cannot come to terms on what they would like as far as 50/50 custody, equal visitation, etc....will the magistrate rule in the end? And then if either party disagrees can choose to go onto court? Or just what is the standard procedure here? This is all new to us all.