Want to see my child

[sometwo]

I'm not gonna sit here and listen to your insults....IM DOING THE BEST I CAN TO REACH THE MOTHER!!!!!!!!! AS LONG AS IM TRYING I DONT CARE WHAT THE HELL YOU THINK...THANKS OHIOGAL, I WILL CONTACT CSE AND PAY UP MY SUPPORT

I don't care what you think either. Not my fault your a lousy parent. Just stating facts. You abandoned your child. That is not my fault.

Its your own fault you can't contact mother. You weren't there, you were nowhere around you were off too busy making another baby to even care about your child.

I feel sorry for this child having such a lousy parent. I wonder if you hadn't had another baby would you even now be looking for your first child. Its all about your precious new baby and your precious new baby knowing the older sibling, forgetting what you have done to this child who probably doesn't even know you now.

I feel sorry for the child, and your new child because I have no doubt if you and your wife were to separate the new child would be in the same boat while you go off making more babies.

Maybe you should consider taking care of the children you now have before you have anymore if you ever should have anymore.

 

[Proserpina]

Alright, seriously - OP, you need to do whatever it takes. Get two, three jobs.

Hire a PI, ask friends/relatives, find Mom. THEN you can have discuss visitation. If you find her and she refuses, you likely will NOT be able to have her found in contempt since you've been absent for so long. You will likely have to modify the current order to - as I said earlier - include a reintroduction period of probably supervised visitation.

You do NOT need, necessarily, to find Mom in order to start paying CS.

Contact CSE first thing Monday morning and talk to them.

(Can we end the scolding now? It's really not serving a purpose)

 

[Monte86]

Paying child support is not a ticket to see your child.
Not paying child support doesn't mean you CAN'T see your child.
I was unemployed at one point and could not pay my support. You know what? I still saw my child every visit.
I'm sorry if finanical reasons stopped you from paying support, it happens to the best of us. But there is no excuse for not seeing your child.

 

[sometwo]

(Can we end the scolding now? It's really not serving a purpose)

op doesn't see anything wrong with bringing more children into the world.

With that thinking he'll keep having more and never actually support the children he has now. Its a shame for these children.

However op isn't going to change his thinking. I just pray he gets fixed sooner rather than later.

 

[stepmom4ever]

Paying child support is not a ticket to see your child.
Not paying child support doesn't mean you CAN'T see your child.
I was unemployed at one point and could not pay my support. You know what? I still saw my child every visit.
I'm sorry if finanical reasons stopped you from paying support, it happens to the best of us. But there is no excuse for not seeing your child.

whatever! Who fed, clothed,and sheltered your child while you didn't do it? Seeing you every visit didn't provide your child their daily needs....please

 

[Proserpina]

whatever! Who fed, clothed,and sheltered your child while you didn't do it? Seeing you every visit didn't provide your child their daily needs....please

Um...hon?

Really?

You are the last person who should be criticizing on this score....know what I mean?

 

[Isis1]

whatever! Who fed, clothed,and sheltered your child while you didn't do it? Seeing you every visit didn't provide your child their daily needs....please

Who left the door open???

 

[Proserpina]

Who left the door open???

Don't blame me!

I've been making mimosas all day.

Still making 'em, actually.





Now, in all fairness - stepmom4ever has admitted that she's made mistakes and has ...somewhat...seen the light.

She's got a LOT of making up to do in her personal life perhaps, but she's entitled to come and go here as she pleases just like the rest of us (even...oh. Wait. You saw that discussion already ).

However - her latest comment on this thread? Well, pots and kettles have perhaps never been closer in shade...

 

[Isis1]

I'll take a triple, thank you!!!

 

[acmb05]

Now that everyone is done bashing dad here I think I will give him my two cents.

OP, you made a crappy decision a year ago. You left your child to be with another woman and have a child with her. You did not pay your support when you should have and you need to start doing that now.

As far as wanting to see your child now you need to first find the mother. There are many ways you can do this without having to hire a private investigator, use that money to put toward your back support. It may take you a little longer but there are a lot of ways to find someone. If you must hire someone then shop around, most of the time it should not cost you but a couple hundred dollars.

Once you do that you should make every effort to start out slowly with your child. Supervised visits for awhile would be a good start. Don't go into court thinking you are going to go right back to having weekends. Your child is young and will adjust back to seeing you more.

Do not do this again to this child. Your new child and wife should be no more important to you than your other child period. Take it slow and let your child open up to you at her own pace. Don't try to force it upon her.

 

[stealth2]

Now that everyone is done bashing dad here I think I will give him my two cents.

OP, you made a crappy decision a year ago. You left your child to be with another woman and have a child with her. You did not pay your support when you should have and you need to start doing that now.

As far as wanting to see your child now you need to first find the mother. There are many ways you can do this without having to hire a private investigator, use that money to put toward your back support. It may take you a little longer but there are a lot of ways to find someone. If you must hire someone then shop around, most of the time it should not cost you but a couple hundred dollars.

Once you do that you should make every effort to start out slowly with your child. Supervised visits for awhile would be a good start. Don't go into court thinking you are going to go right back to having weekends. Your child is young and will adjust back to seeing you more.

Do not do this again to this child. Your new child and wife should be no more important to you than your other child period. Take it slow and let your child open up to you at her own pace. Don't try to force it upon her.

Well done, acme. (teasin' ya)

 

[justliving]

I would like to know other ways I can search for the mother besides hiring a PI and if I hire a PI how much do you think one would cost?

 

[majomom1]

I would like to know other ways I can search for the mother besides hiring a PI and if I hire a PI how much do you think one would cost?

Where is her family? What about her friends? Surely there were people in her life that still have contact with her. They didn't all just pick up and move.

Start sending in CS payments... show her family and friends the receipts, that you sincerely want to pay and make amends... Leave your contact info with them, to give to her... and ask her to call you.

If you haven't been paying CS there is a good chance she is looking for you too.

Check the court files and see if she filed notice of her move... send a letter to her last known address. When it comes back check to see if it is "unable to forward" or "forwarding expired"... that will give an attorney or a PI helpful information that would keep your costs down.

 

[justliving]

Where is her family? What about her friends? Surely there were people in her life that still have contact with her. They didn't all just pick up and move.

Start sending in CS payments... show her family and friends the receipts, that you sincerely want to pay and make amends... Leave your contact info with them, to give to her... and ask her to call you.

If you haven't been paying CS there is a good chance she is looking for you too.

Check the court files and see if she filed notice of her move... send a letter to her last known address. When it comes back check to see if it is "unable to forward" or "forwarding expired"... that will give an attorney or a PI helpful information that would keep your costs down.

The only person I know who definately know where she would be is her mother but her entire family is mad at me for what I did and I know they wont give me her contact information. I guess I can do the mail thing and see what comes out of it. Thank you

 

[acmb05]

The only person I know who definately know where she would be is her mother but her entire family is mad at me for what I did and I know they wont give me her contact information. I guess I can do the mail thing and see what comes out of it. Thank you

You can search phone, electric, cable records. you can also google search her name or do a search on any of the multiple sites like facebook, myspace, and twitter. You may not be able to get into some of those records but a good PI can.

A typical location search will run you around $200.