what a world

[thetsgtswife]

Hey TSgtswife, I'm also a TSgt's wife. (Testing for Master as we speak- fingers crossed and praying very hard.)

Mom2J

OH fingers crossed for you both!! Master would be a wonderful step!! We cant test until 2007.

We will have to email each other my email is info is in my profile. We seem to have alot in common but I dont want to Hijack this post. LOL

TSGTSWIFE

 

[joan marie]

I see this more as a "people" thing than a mom or dad thing. There are people with self respect, good self esteem and self honor, they will do they right thing regardless and be good people/parents. Than their are those that lie, steal, manipulate, misrepresent themselves to get what they want. Look at the person not their "label". There are good and bad in all things.

I learned in my first marriage : ) that you can only work on you. You can only change you. The other person picks who and what they will be as well.
We all live with our choices.

joan marie *

 

[thetsgtswife]

why are you here posting to a law forum for child custody visitation? Are you are speaking from experience regarding child custody issues?Well from my perspective, my current husband is awesome but we both have ex's and occasionally need advice.

Perhaps you are one of those people who like to think that they are "above" all this?

Im sorry that you are so bitter. I know that I didnt agree that my husband is wonderful just to make you think I was looking down on you or anyone else for that matter. Just to give a ray of hope that there are good, strong, loving relationships that are working out there.I dont think anything was said about either of our lives being perfect, we are miltitary spouses and families for goodness sakes, our lives are far from perfect. Do I think our children are perfect, yes, perfect little blessings, but not perfect humans.


IS it a bad thing to be a good person(on here)?

TSGTSWIFE

 

[abstract99]

Having a child is a blessing. When you get divorced you are put in a tough situation. My ex does not allow me visitation.

when you divorced wasnt visitation dealt with?

I am now in the situation to decide:
- Do I fight for sole custody and hope that since she is no longer receiving child support (the only reason she wanted the children) will she just let us be?

imho* you always fight to see the kids.

- Do I just bow out and never see my children again?

Unless you are a nutcase (and Im not saying you are) how could it be good for the kids? Kids need input from both parents. The kids are a combination of the parents. I can see no benefit in not fighting for your kids. Even if you lose? The kids know that you did fight for them. why does it have to be all or nothing? How bout just seeking joint custody and doing your best to co-parent? I know its not as easy as it sounds.

I wish you well.

joan marie *

The mother drags the children through living hell when we go to court it is a hard decision to either decide to leave the children out of the whole situation or fight for your rights as a father. I am at the point now where the children are so brainwashed by their mother. They think that I am the reason why the marriage did not work. The mother told them that she came home and found me in bed with another woman whereas it was the other way around. The mom tells them that I do not love them because I never want to see them when it is in fact her that does not allow me to see them. Don't worry I have made the decision to fight but I hope you can see why it would be a hard one. The hell that they have to go through. The things that their mother says to them when she finds out that daddy is trying to see them. She forces them to try to talk me into sending me more money. She promises them things and then tells them that she can't do them because daddy won't let her. Even if I do win I can't help but wonder if the children will hate me for it.

 

[bliss_in_texas]

Not a hijack, just some thoughts.

Our family is now involved in a custodial/visitation battle. From my viewpoint both parents are perfectly capable of raising the child. The Mom has, however, taken it upon herself to deny my son the right to see their son since Jan 15th. She thinks my son does not show responsibility....even though he is employed fulltime, paying child support. I think the laws are somewhat bias. Yes the Mom may be more maternally capable of taking care of the child, but the father is required to in addition to the child support now spend mega bucks on hiring a lawyer for the right to see his son.

The Mom knew this. The law should be that both parents have equal rights and as soon as the Mom pulls this kind of stuff, should be liable no matter what. No matter what my son did, she was never satisfied. And I don't ever see her being satisfied. It will always be a battle with her. But still the judicial system seems to lean toward the Mom.

How can a person show love toward someone like this? How can the child ever have a peaceful surrounding if one of the parents is trying to pull him from the other?

What about when the positions are somewhat reversed? Mom is taking great care of the child, Dad is absent, suddenly decides that he wants to "appear" the caring parent and drags mom into court, forces her to pay for a lawyer, creates all kinds of financial difficutly and...when it's his time for court ordered visitation - doesn't show up. Parents, equal rights via the law? You cannot force someone to be a good or moral or attentive parent. Sometimes it's a lot of grandstanding for the judge or family. Perhaps you do not have the whole story? In my case, my ex is such a smooth liar that his whole family and new wife's family believe everything he says with no proof other than what he says. They never asked me what was going on..He disappeared as of January 1 and didn't contact us again (six weeks later) until he served me with a suit for custody which stated I had denied him the right to see his son, when in fact, I had been contacting him via phone, email and handwritten letter, trying to find out what happened to him, why he abandoned his son. He admitted in court that he had NOT tried to see his son and that I had not denied him visitation, he just didn't want to deal with the situation and just decided to go to court. *shrug* If I were you, just a thought, I'd have a heart to heart with the ex in a neutral location and find out both sides. Perhaps mediation would be an option?