what do you do

[ejmmolina]

What is the name of your state?tx

ok this isnt really a legal questions but would like to know what you guys think....


ok so my oldest step sons birthday is coming up really soon. im not sure if its just us or if its all custodial parents who think like this.......

What if this is the year he/she doesnt call? as in what is he/she forgets his/her birthday all together? now i know alot of ncps do "forget" and always have. but in our case there has always been a last minute phone call. each year it gets later and later. SOOOOO what do you do if there is no call. kids are getting old enough that they know what is going on now. they relize ncp is missing the important stuff. ncp is hardly ever mentioned. So this may be the final straw for the oldest one. how can we as cp's help our kids and step kids to cope? do we out of love call ncp and tell child ncp called him? or would that be wrong? i know its lieing but if it owuld make him feel better isnt it worth it. we are torn.

 

[rmet4nzkx]

By all means call BM so your child doesn't miss his call, you know calls have been an issue anyway, perhaps call or email a few days before to remind her, possibly with the best time to be there for the call.

 

[stealth2]

Yep, in this situation, I'd likely send some reminders and even offer to place the call.

 

[nextwife]

Gosh, the couples with kids that I know who aren't together still both come to the kids birthday parties. Doesn't kiddo WANT Daddy at his birthday party? Wouldn't inviting him act as a reminder? My daughter had two birthday parties in the past months in which the Daddy was still there helping out at the party, even though they are no longer a couple. All the others, the parents are married to each other and were also both there.

 

[mom2J]

I also have a suggestion. You said the kids were getting older, so what about offering to take the child (and other children) out with the ncp for a birthday dinner? Call NCP and ask if they'd be interested in doing this for the child. This way, the child gets to see both parents and you'll both have to be on your best behavior with each other. It's one night and I'm sure it'd make the child very happy to have you both celebrating the special day. Just an idea.

For the phone call, I think I would call the NCP the day ahead and tell him you'll be doing this and that on the birthday, but that you KNOW the child would love to hear from him around this time, if he's available to call then. Make it sound very nice. (It's a nice way to remind, without sounding too pushy.) The NCP may be feeling like he's intruding, so just giving a few words of encouragement may help with this.

 

[stealth2]

Y'all may want to read the past history.

 

[rmet4nzkx]

Gosh, the couples with kids that I know who aren't together still both come to the kids birthday parties. Doesn't kiddo WANT Daddy at his birthday party? Wouldn't inviting him act as a reminder? My daughter had two birthday parties in the past months in which the Daddy was still there helping out at the party, even though they are no longer a couple. All the others, the parents are married to each other and were also both there.

NCP is mom who lives 8 hours away, and doesn't call or exercise visitation except on occasion.

 

[casa]

What is the name of your state?tx

ok this isnt really a legal questions but would like to know what you guys think....


ok so my oldest step sons birthday is coming up really soon. im not sure if its just us or if its all custodial parents who think like this.......

What if this is the year he/she doesnt call? as in what is he/she forgets his/her birthday all together? now i know alot of ncps do "forget" and always have. but in our case there has always been a last minute phone call. each year it gets later and later. SOOOOO what do you do if there is no call. kids are getting old enough that they know what is going on now. they relize ncp is missing the important stuff. ncp is hardly ever mentioned. So this may be the final straw for the oldest one. how can we as cp's help our kids and step kids to cope? do we out of love call ncp and tell child ncp called him? or would that be wrong? i know its lieing but if it owuld make him feel better isnt it worth it. we are torn.

I agree- call the NCP to remind them. If there is no call, and stepson is upset- reinforce that everyone loves and cares for him; that perhaps NCP was busy or forgot but that doesn't mean he isn't loved. (Depending on the age of the child)Offer for the child to call the NCP, see if NCP will answer/talk.

 

[ejmmolina]

i tried to call today it just rang and rang. no voice mail no answering machine nothing. so im not sure if its the right number anymore. email comes up as invalid. so now i have no options left. snailm ail wont make it in time. he is turning 8 his brother will be 7 in a few months.

 

[stealth2]

You can't do more than make the effort.