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WHat does it take to change a custody order?

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What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Texas
My divorce is final. My ex husband has never once exercised his visitation rights, I have not denied him to come and pick up our daughter, he just won't. He comes to visit her for about 15 minutes then he leaves. it has been this way since she was born and she does not know him. We have joint custody, might it be possible to get custody changed since he is not involved on our daughters life and upbringing?What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?
 


Proserpina

Senior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Texas
My divorce is final. My ex husband has never once exercised his visitation rights, I have not denied him to come and pick up our daughter, he just won't. He comes to visit her for about 15 minutes then he leaves. it has been this way since she was born and she does not know him. We have joint custody, might it be possible to get custody changed since he is not involved on our daughters life and upbringing?What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?


You filed harassment charges against your ex, correct?

What happened with that again?

Have you spoken to your attorney?

And which is it...either he comes to visit, or he doesn't. It's not both.
 
Yes, I did file. A warrant was issued, He turned himself in and his arraignment is next week.

And which is it...either he comes to visit, or he doesn't. It's not both
The answer to this is just what I said he comes to the house to visit for about 15 min maybe twice a month then he's gone. Divorce decree states he can pick her up two weekends a month and one overnight visit per week and he's never done that. Hopefully that clears it up.

I have not spoken to my attorney yet, I want to find out first if its even possible before I speak to my attorney.
 

Proserpina

Senior Member
Yes, I did file. A warrant was issued, He turned himself in and his arraignment is next week.

And which is it...either he comes to visit, or he doesn't. It's not both
The answer to this is just what I said he comes to the house to visit for about 15 min maybe twice a month then he's gone. Divorce decree states he can pick her up two weekends a month and one overnight visit per week and he's never done that. Hopefully that clears it up.


Visitation is a right, not an obligation. If he doesn't want to come visit per the court order, that's up to him.

It is highly unlikely that you're going to get that changed so soon after the order was actually filed.

I have not spoken to my attorney yet, I want to find out first if its even possible before I speak to my attorney.


Talk to your attorney. :cool:
 

mistoffolees

Senior Member
The answer to this is just what I said he comes to the house to visit for about 15 min maybe twice a month then he's gone. Divorce decree states he can pick her up two weekends a month and one overnight visit per week and he's never done that. Hopefully that clears it up.

You need to understand that legal issues require precise description of the facts. You said that Dad "has never once exercised his visitation rights". Now, it turns out that he does visit the child fairly regularly, albeit briefly.

When you give incorrect information, the advice you receive will be worthless. More importantly, if you were to make the above statement under oath, you would be in contempt - which could land you in jail. Lying to make your situation look better doesn't help anyone.

And, given the circumstances, it is not likely that you could get the court order changed. Nor should you. He may just be uncomfortable with a very young child and may get more involved when the child is older.
 

LdiJ

Senior Member
You need to understand that legal issues require precise description of the facts. You said that Dad "has never once exercised his visitation rights". Now, it turns out that he does visit the child fairly regularly, albeit briefly.

When you give incorrect information, the advice you receive will be worthless. More importantly, if you were to make the above statement under oath, you would be in contempt - which could land you in jail. Lying to make your situation look better doesn't help anyone.

And, given the circumstances, it is not likely that you could get the court order changed. Nor should you. He may just be uncomfortable with a very young child and may get more involved when the child is older.

I don't think she was intentionally or unintentionally lying. He is NOT exercising his visitation rights and she did explain what contact he had with the child in the same paragraph. That is hardly misleading.

Now, she could have worded it slightly differently and maybe it would have made more sense, but I did understand what she meant.
 
You need to understand that legal issues require precise description of the facts. You said that Dad "has never once exercised his visitation rights". Now, it turns out that he does visit the child fairly regularly, albeit briefly.

When you give incorrect information, the advice you receive will be worthless. More importantly, if you were to make the above statement under oath, you would be in contempt - which could land you in jail. Lying to make your situation look better doesn't help anyone.

And, given the circumstances, it is not likely that you could get the court order changed. Nor should you. He may just be uncomfortable with a very young child and may get more involved when the child is older.

I really don't appreciate you saying I'm lying. That is very not very nice. Since you do not understand what i was trying to say let me try again,he has never exercised hid visitation rights because he has never picked up our daughter and kept her overnight as it's ordered in the decree. the decree does not say come visit for 15 min and go on about your business, it says he is to have her with him two weekends a month and one day overnight per week. He has not even bothered to buy a carseat. If he is uncomfortable with a young child then he should not have asked for two weekends a month and one overnight period per week in our divorce mediation. he asked for this and he got it.. You don't even know the whole story so please ask before you call me a lie. Anything you wanted or needed to know I will tell you. This is totally uncalled for. Im not making the statement under oath I am simply looking for some help from people who know about the law. I did not post the question to be called a lie.I'm not trying to be a butt about this, but you were not right for calling me a lie. It's bad enough I've gone through this awful divorce and its aftermath, and I come here to get help and get dumped on by you. Thanks a lot. :mad:
 

Proserpina

Senior Member
I really don't appreciate you saying I'm lying. That is very not very nice. Since you do not understand what i was trying to say let me try again,he has never exercised hid visitation rights because he has never picked up our daughter and kept her overnight as it's ordered in the decree. the decree does not say come visit for 15 min and go on about your business, it says he is to have her with him two weekends a month and one day overnight per week. He has not even bothered to buy a carseat. If he is uncomfortable with a young child then he should not have asked for two weekends a month and one overnight period per week in our divorce mediation. he asked for this and he got it.. You don't even know the whole story so please ask before you call me a lie. Anything you wanted or needed to know I will tell you. This is totally uncalled for. Im not making the statement under oath I am simply looking for some help from people who know about the law. I did not post the question to be called a lie.I'm not trying to be a butt about this, but you were not right for calling me a lie. It's bad enough I've gone through this awful divorce and its aftermath, and I come here to get help and get dumped on by you. Thanks a lot. :mad:



No, it says he MAY have the child that frequently. It does not say that he MUST have the child that frequently.

And really - calm down. Have a hot buttered crumpet. :cool:
 

stealth2

Under the Radar Member
I really don't appreciate you saying I'm lying. That is very not very nice. Since you do not understand what i was trying to say let me try again,he has never exercised hid visitation rights because he has never picked up our daughter and kept her overnight as it's ordered in the decree. the decree does not say come visit for 15 min and go on about your business, it says he is to have her with him two weekends a month and one day overnight per week. He has not even bothered to buy a carseat. If he is uncomfortable with a young child then he should not have asked for two weekends a month and one overnight period per week in our divorce mediation. he asked for this and he got it.. You don't even know the whole story so please ask before you call me a lie. Anything you wanted or needed to know I will tell you. This is totally uncalled for. Im not making the statement under oath I am simply looking for some help from people who know about the law. I did not post the question to be called a lie.I'm not trying to be a butt about this, but you were not right for calling me a lie. It's bad enough I've gone through this awful divorce and its aftermath, and I come here to get help and get dumped on by you. Thanks a lot. :mad:

What you do not seem to understand is that Dad's visitation is a right, not an obligation. He is not REQUIRED to use all of his time. Or any of it. You, however, ARE required to make the child available at the times the court has ordered.
 
What you do not seem to understand is that Dad's visitation is a right, not an obligation. He is not REQUIRED to use all of his time. Or any of it. You, however, ARE required to make the child available at the times the court has ordered.

Thank you, that's all I wanted an answer.So he's not required to pick up our daughter, but I must make her available when it's his time to come and pick her up. Got it.
 

Proserpina

Senior Member
Thank you, that's all I wanted an answer.So he's not required to pick up our daughter, but I must make her available when it's his time to come and pick her up. Got it.



Absolutely! :)

The bottom line is, your divorce is only very recently final. The court isn't going to be happy changing things so soon after the initial decree was ordered.

If Dad is still pulling the "15 minutes every month" (or whatever it was) in a year's time? That's the time to go back to court and have it modified.
 
Absolutely! :)

The bottom line is, your divorce is only very recently final. The court isn't going to be happy changing things so soon after the initial decree was ordered.

If Dad is still pulling the "15 minutes every month" (or whatever it was) in a year's time? That's the time to go back to court and have it modified.

Thank you so very much! That is exactly what I needed to know. Attorneys are expensive which you know so I try to get an idea of what I can and can not do here and call my attorney only when necessary because if I call him every time I have a question I will go broke, and Im close now. But thanks again I really, really appreciate that, I need help and I got it, thank you!
 

Proserpina

Senior Member
Thank you so very much! That is exactly what I needed to know. Attorneys are expensive which you know so I try to get an idea of what I can and can not do here and call my attorney only when necessary because if I call him every time I have a question I will go broke, and Im close now. But thanks again I really, really appreciate that, I need help and I got it, thank you!



You're welcome!

(And Mom, we do get that this is oh-so-frustrating and emotional - we do understand :) )
 
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