What is mediators job

[VANCAM1]

What is the name of your state? CA
I was awarded sole legal and physical custody of my 2yr old son.The mother didn't show up for 2 mediations and court. She also has drug charges. Now she is taking me back to court 'cause she has a job and lives w/mom. What will the mediator do? do I sign anything? Do I have to agree to 50/50 custody? When she wasn't going to go to court the first time she said "tell the judge whatever you want but lets split him every other month." I stuck to this (mostly-3 weeks for her) but once she found out that she can't get her welfare and her visitation is what i see reasonable she wants it changed. I dont know what to expect at the mediator, can you help me? I want her to see the child but I am worried about the drug issue and $ being her main motive. Do I mention that she seek drug counseling in my response to the OSC or at the mediator?

 

[I AM ALWAYS LIABLE]

What is the name of your state? CA
I was awarded sole legal and physical custody of my 2yr old son.The mother didn't show up for 2 mediations and court. She also has drug charges. Now she is taking me back to court 'cause she has a job and lives w/mom. What will the mediator do? do I sign anything? Do I have to agree to 50/50 custody? When she wasn't going to go to court the first time she said "tell the judge whatever you want but lets split him every other month." I stuck to this (mostly-3 weeks for her) but once she found out that she can't get her welfare and her visitation is what i see reasonable she wants it changed. I dont know what to expect at the mediator, can you help me? I want her to see the child but I am worried about the drug issue and $ being her main motive. Do I mention that she seek drug counseling in my response to the OSC or at the mediator?

My response:

You respond to the OSC, do not sign anything, and tell the mediator that these issues were already decided - - that you'd like the judge to rule on the OSC.

IAAL

 

[adonahee]

Your court appt. comes first.

You said she was taking you to court to change visitation, so that date will come first. She will present her case to the judge, and if judge sees fit to order you into mediation, that will come second. All a mediator does is document for the court what the parents agree upon. You'll have an appt., sit down and state what you want - the mediator will write the agreement, and it will go to the judge to sign. You can ask that certain provisions, like the drug counseling, be included.

 

[VANCAM1]

She served me on july 16 with an order for mediation on
Aug 4 and a court date for sept 13. The original order was set April 4. Will it look bad if I tell the mediator that I want the judge to rule? I think that the mediator will force a shared agreement and not consider her bad history.

 

[karma1]

Your most recent order was just signed April 4 of this year?

And from your post, I gather you've been through mediation before with her not showing up?
What, exactly, is the OSC for? She now wants 50/50 placement?
If she does in fact show up for this mediation, my advice would be to make sure all your focus is on your child. Don't use this as an opportunity to point out or bash the other parent, no matter how tempting. OF course, if you have proof of said drug use, definetely point that out...but it has to be hard, solid proof.
Your focus should be on your positive parenting abilities--how you have cared for child, etc......how child has a stable home life with you and how you've encouraged visitation, etc......possibly your concerns at this time might be the newness of mom's living arrangements?

On a personal note--my brother was granted full legal and physical of his daughter....biomom went and filed for full custody as soon as she got her own place. Judge was NOT happy due to the fact that his order was practically brand new and biomom had NOT been in her new housing long enough to prove stability.....

Good luck to you and as always, consult with an attorney.....

*side note-all the cases I've seen in CA-personal and otherwise, mediation comes first, then court*

 

[VANCAM1]

The OSC is for sole legal and physical custody. In the original court hearings, she addmitted to warants and arrests for drug possession. I don't want to bash her. I have a stable living environment w/wife and other child. She mentioned in her OSC that she is temporarily w/mom. The child is 2 and has lived w/ 2 boyfriends, her mom twice and her father in Texas (we are in CA)