What makes "A hill to die on?"

[Proserpina]

It's not something I want to see ordered by a court, but as long as both parents agree and the child wishes to see their siblings and friends, then I have no problem with it.

I'm not necessarily advocating court-ordered visitation for third parties.

However - if there is an existing strong bond, I honestly cannot see the harm in having visitation transferred to the stepparent.

But again, I'm very aware of how the courts see this.

 

[InfantCustody]

Custody Trial set for 7/14 - Set schedule with rotational work days?

My ex and I currently have a rotational visitation schedule. He has the baby (supervised) on two of his days off each week.

He has been refusing to give me his new schedule more than 1-2 days in advance of the next change. I HAVE to follow the visitation order of the court, but don't know what that is going to be until it is "there." As such, my older son had to be withdrawn from swimming lessons as I miscalculated his days off (since I didn't have them) and have to be available for dad to pick the baby up at his swim lesson time.

When we go to court, is it reasonable to request that he have a set schedule that maintains his same number of overnights, assuming I have it worked out so that he still has "off" days with the baby each rotation? He had been utilizing 8 overnights per month - and I would propose a long term schedule that sets this as a minimum and keeps that in place as follows:

"Father will have parenting time with the child from 6 pm each Tues until 6 pm each Wed. Father will have parenting time with the child on the second and fourth full week-ends of each month from Fri at 6 pm until Sunday at 6 pm. In the event father is not working on the day beginning his parenting time (Fri or Tues) he may choose to pick the child up at 10:00 am provided he give Mother at least 48 hours notice." The earlier pick up gives him more "non-work time" with the baby each rotation.

This would guarantee dad has no less than 4 "non-work" days with Junior each month (the same as me) but 10 months of the year, he would have at least 6 non-work days with him as follows:

Dad's work days are: ---------------Dad's days with Junior are:
S/M/T/W --------------------------F, S, (4 per month)
M/T/W/Th-------------------------F, S, Sun (6 per month)
T/W/Th,F -------------------------S, Sun (4 per month)
W/Th/F/S -------------------------T, Sun (6 per month)
Th/F/S/Sun-------------------------T, W (8 per month)
F/S/Sun/M ------------------------T, W (8 per month)
S/Sun/M/T ------------------------W, F (6 per month)

Are judges willing to grant "set schedules" to parents who work rotational days? Given the distance between homes, a rotational schedule cannot work as of school age. He said he will be arguing for a 50/50 split - to be re-litigated at school age. I really don't want to get a schedule that is guaranteed to be re-litigated.

One more question : He has his judicial appeal of the CPS finding that was scheduled for July 1. The attorney for CPS requested a continuance so her office may "review information relating to the defendant and the case." He is requesting the trial be continued as he said the CPS findings are "crucial to his case."

My attorney objected to the continuance on the basis that "the court has already held a hearing and heard testimony regarding the injury to the baby and as such, the court has made independent findings into the baby's injuries. As such, the CPS findings have no bearing on the upcoming custody case."

From a legal perspective, would you believe the judge will continue the trial or should his appeal to CPS be irrelevant based on the fact the judge has made her independent determination?

Thanks all... Hope everyone is doing well!

 

[LdiJ]

My ex and I currently have a rotational visitation schedule. He has the baby (supervised) on two of his days off each week.

He has been refusing to give me his new schedule more than 1-2 days in advance of the next change. I HAVE to follow the visitation order of the court, but don't know what that is going to be until it is "there." As such, my older son had to be withdrawn from swimming lessons as I miscalculated his days off (since I didn't have them) and have to be available for dad to pick the baby up at his swim lesson time.

When we go to court, is it reasonable to request that he have a set schedule that maintains his same number of overnights, assuming I have it worked out so that he still has "off" days with the baby each rotation? He had been utilizing 8 overnights per month - and I would propose a long term schedule that sets this as a minimum and keeps that in place as follows:

"Father will have parenting time with the child from 6 pm each Tues until 6 pm each Wed. Father will have parenting time with the child on the second and fourth full week-ends of each month from Fri at 6 pm until Sunday at 6 pm. In the event father is not working on the day beginning his parenting time (Fri or Tues) he may choose to pick the child up at 10:00 am provided he give Mother at least 48 hours notice." The earlier pick up gives him more "non-work time" with the baby each rotation.

This would guarantee dad has no less than 4 "non-work" days with Junior each month (the same as me) but 10 months of the year, he would have at least 6 non-work days with him as follows:

Dad's work days are: ---------------Dad's days with Junior are:
S/M/T/W --------------------------F, S, (4 per month)
M/T/W/Th-------------------------F, S, Sun (6 per month)
T/W/Th,F -------------------------S, Sun (4 per month)
W/Th/F/S -------------------------T, Sun (6 per month)
Th/F/S/Sun-------------------------T, W (8 per month)
F/S/Sun/M ------------------------T, W (8 per month)
S/Sun/M/T ------------------------W, F (6 per month)

Are judges willing to grant "set schedules" to parents who work rotational days? Given the distance between homes, a rotational schedule cannot work as of school age. He said he will be arguing for a 50/50 split - to be re-litigated at school age. I really don't want to get a schedule that is guaranteed to be re-litigated.

One more question : He has his judicial appeal of the CPS finding that was scheduled for July 1. The attorney for CPS requested a continuance so her office may "review information relating to the defendant and the case." He is requesting the trial be continued as he said the CPS findings are "crucial to his case."

My attorney objected to the continuance on the basis that "the court has already held a hearing and heard testimony regarding the injury to the baby and as such, the court has made independent findings into the baby's injuries. As such, the CPS findings have no bearing on the upcoming custody case."

From a legal perspective, would you believe the judge will continue the trial or should his appeal to CPS be irrelevant based on the fact the judge has made her independent determination?

Thanks all... Hope everyone is doing well!

I think that you should leave well enough alone regarding the schedule, but ask the judge to order dad to provide you the information on his work schedule as soon as its available. Explain to the judge that he is giving you the info just 1-2 days in advance and that makes it impossible for you to plan anything.

You are going to end up back in court anyway when the child starts school, because you live far enough apart that weekdays will not be very feasible for dad to have, and you certainly don't want to give up all the weekends. I cannot see 50/50 working at all unless one of you moves.