What should I think of this?

[InfantCustody]

Curiousity - is this doctor CLOSER to dad? Wasn't one of the complaints that he did NOTHING medically for the child for x amount of hours? Couldn't it be as simple as finding a doctor close to him in case there is another emergency?

That was one of the complaints social services had. The baby had no medical care from 2 am until I got him at 2 pm and took him to the MD. The new MD is closer to Dad... That could be the reason although I don't see 30 miles as an unreasonable drive I guess some people may. If so, you would think he could have just said so, in advance, and avoided the issue. I'm also not sure what they would want to monitor him for "on an ongoing basis" but that may just be Dad's way of trying to get under my skin. And it worked!

 

[InfantCustody]

If Dad will not permit you to go, then you need t ocntact that Doctor and request copies of all medical records. Also indicate to the new Doc that the child already had a PCP and provide contact information. Suggest to the new one that he maintain contact with your doc to about doubling up--


Oh, hey, I just had a thought---My state maintains a vaccination registry at the Minnesota Dept of Health that tracks kids and their shots. They do this to make sure kids are on track and probably to avoid situations like this where it is possible that some vaccines could be doubled up with two different docs. Check with your clinic and see if they have to report to your state's health dept about vaccines....

I'll do that...thank you!!

 

[CSO286]

That was one of the complaints social services had. The baby had no medical care from 2 am until I got him at 2 pm and took him to the MD. The new MD is closer to Dad... That could be the reason although I don't see 30 miles as an unreasonable drive I guess some people may. If so, you would think he could have just said so, in advance, and avoided the issue. I'm also not sure what they would want to monitor him for "on an ongoing basis" but that may just be Dad's way of trying to get under my skin. And it worked!

This really depends on the community you are in.....If you live a big city, then 30 miles could be unreasonable.

I live 25 miles from my PCP and Small's pediatrician....so 30 miles isn't bad.

 

[InfantCustody]

This really depends on the community you are in.....If you live a big city, then 30 miles could be unreasonable.

I live 25 miles from my PCP and Small's pediatrician....so 30 miles isn't bad.

I am in a big city. Dad is in a small town north of our city. He drives about 45 miles to work - into my city - each day so he is used to driving but I do see the point. I guess it just depends on each person, and what they want to drive for.

 

[CJane]

This really depends on the community you are in.....If you live a big city, then 30 miles could be unreasonable.

I live 25 miles from my PCP and Small's pediatrician....so 30 miles isn't bad.

Heh. I drive further than that to get to a grocery store.

Originally Posted by Ohiogal View Post
It could be he doesn't trust the regular MD and wants a new MD to check out the child -- especially since the regular MD believed you regarding the burns and dad says nothing happened like that. Be in contact with dad's MD and find out. Maybe dad wants allergy testing.

Might want to review the posting history. Mom never accused Dad of burning the child. That has consistently been an MD diagnosis with Mom being disbelieving the whole time.

IC, I'd definitely talk to the "new" MD. And I'd provide them with a copy of the order that you're currently operating under. And I'd call Grandpa - find out if he was at the appointment.

I don't think it's EVER a good idea to double up on Doctors. They're not going to share records back and forth, they dislike communicating out of practice for small issues, and it's a pain in the azz. You're primary custodian - the child should continue seeing the doctor near you unless there are issues with that doctor.

 

[CourtClerk]

Heh. I drive further than that to get to a grocery store.

That ought to be against the law. Ummm... the closest grocery store to me is maybe 1/4 of a mile from here.

Do you all use the same medical insurance? Call me crazy, but here, medical records are electronic. I go to one doctor, the other one can see my records. I take the kid to urgent care, his pediatrician can see the records.

 

[CJane]

That ought to be against the law. Ummm... the closest grocery store to me is maybe 1/4 of a mile from here.

I could technically get to a grocery store within about 15 miles, but it's a tiny one. Walmart is more than 30 miles away.

Do you all use the same medical insurance? Call me crazy, but here, medical records are electronic. I go to one doctor, the other one can see my records. I take the kid to urgent care, his pediatrician can see the records.

That doesn't happen here.

 

[InfantCustody]

That ought to be against the law. Ummm... the closest grocery store to me is maybe 1/4 of a mile from here.

Do you all use the same medical insurance? Call me crazy, but here, medical records are electronic. I go to one doctor, the other one can see my records. I take the kid to urgent care, his pediatrician can see the records.

I know...it's amazing you can live that far from a grocery store. I have 3 within walking distance!!

That was my initial thought. If Dad had picked an MD in the same network, every visit to either MD could be viewed by both offices and he would maintain one immunization record so they would be essentially the same MD for all practical purposes. Such as you said, if I take the baby to a Urgent care in network, his regular MD can access the records in real time. So, I asked Dad if he would at least pick one "in network" but he said no and the office he is using is out of network. We do use the same insurance, but they are linked by hospital network here.

 

[gr8rn]

That was one of the complaints social services had. The baby had no medical care from 2 am until I got him at 2 pm and took him to the MD. The new MD is closer to Dad... That could be the reason although I don't see 30 miles as an unreasonable drive I guess some people may. If so, you would think he could have just said so, in advance, and avoided the issue. I'm also not sure what they would want to monitor him for "on an ongoing basis" but that may just be Dad's way of trying to get under my skin. And it worked!

I would have a problem with it. It's not just the vaccinations. IF the child gets an illness, you take him to your doctor, he prescribes meds, you send the child over with the meds, Mr smartypants says, well I'm taking him to MY doctor. He could get the same or a different prescription, the meds may have adverse interactions or they may not be effective because of inconsistancies, switching one med for another. Remember folks, this man was HERE talking about how he didn't want anyone else making decisions about HIS child even before the child was born. Remember this man is in the middle of a CPS investigation under supervised visitation, and HE is tellign HER he is changing the babys doctor. I would be all kinds angry if I were IC. This child is being treated by a competent MD. This is not a second opinion, this is duplication of services. If both doctors submit claims to the same insurance company, 50% of the claims will be denied.

IC contact YOUR doctor and your attorney. When is the next hearign with the judge? I bet she won't be too happy about this either. Contact the "new" doctor, enlist the help of the childs pediatrician. Ask him to have a frank talk with the other doctor about what is really going on here. Get the records. Make sure Dad knows you have a right to and you will be obtaining the records for court.

 

[InfantCustody]

I would have a problem with it. It's not just the vaccinations. IF the child gets an illness, you take him to your doctor, he prescribes meds, you send the child over with the meds, Mr smartypants says, well I'm taking him to MY doctor. He could get the same or a different prescription, the meds may have adverse interactions or they may not be effective because of inconsistancies, switching one med for another. Remember folks, this man was HERE talking about how he didn't want anyone else making decisions about HIS child even before the child was born. Remember this man is in the middle of a CPS investigation under supervised visitation, and HE is tellign HER he is changing the babys doctor. I would be all kinds angry if I were IC. This child is being treated by a competent MD. This is not a second opinion, this is duplication of services. If both doctors submit claims to the same insurance company, 50% of the claims will be denied.

IC contact YOUR doctor and your attorney. When is the next hearign with the judge? I bet she won't be too happy about this either. Contact the "new" doctor, enlist the help of the childs pediatrician. Ask him to have a frank talk with the other doctor about what is really going on here. Get the records. Make sure Dad knows you have a right to and you will be obtaining the records for court.

Thank you...I am all kinds of angry. And the situation with the meds is exactly what concerns me. Those kinds of things. I am going to go to the MD office tomorrow, get a copy of the records, explain what is going on and be sure they are clear that the baby has a PCP providing his care. I called my attorney today and she is out of the office until Monday, but her assistant said she will call me first thing Monday. The next hearing with the judge is not set yet...the supervised visitation continues until such a time as...well I don't know? I know Dad has to complete parenting classes, so I don't know if he motions the court after or? I'm not sure...

Things have been deteriorating - rapidly - since the hearing and this is just one more step in the wrong direction. Dad is - in my non-mental health trained opinion - all kinds of over the deep end right now. He sent me a barrage of text messages tonight (I think he's been drinking) calling me a variety of names and telling me he will NEVER co-parent with me no matter what anyone tells him. He said he has no cooperative spirit left and said "it doesn't matter if we co-parent or not. He is MY SON!" He told me "You taking me to court sh*t all over me and I will never let you forget it." So on and so forth...it's just over the top.

 

[CJane]

He told me "You taking me to court sh*t all over me and I will never let you forget it." So on and so forth...it's just over the top.

You touched his career. Even if they're not actively investigating, every officer in that department is now looking at him just a little bit differently, and little bit askance, a little bit "off".

He KNOWS that because he would be doing the same thing if it happened to someone else.

And from his posting history here, I can guess how inexcusable he thinks the "taint" you brought to his reputation is.

 

[InfantCustody]

Is child support ever "optional?"

OK. I think I know the answer to this question, but I'll ask anyway 'cause my attorney is on vacation.

Dad had been paying child support voluntarily until the CPS case happened and then he stopped paying anything or helping with anything.

We are going to court for a temporary child support hearing in a few weeks. Dad is saying he will be claiming a hardship case and will not be paying child support. Dad works FT as a police officer and is earning $36,000 a year. He also works under the table (which he will deny) for his brother and is building a restaurant about 4 miles from his house. I know everyone who is unable to pay child support is building a restaurant, but anyway... He has no other children, lives with his parents and sister, has no car payment, owns his motorcycle, etc etc etc. He contributes $500 a month to his retirement account... He does provide the baby with health insurance as I own my own company and purchasing a private policy would be nearly impossible given the baby's health history. Is child support ever optional or do they give "hardship" exemptions to someone like him?

 

[LdiJ]

OK. I think I know the answer to this question, but I'll ask anyway 'cause my attorney is on vacation.

Dad had been paying child support voluntarily until the CPS case happened and then he stopped paying anything or helping with anything.

We are going to court for a temporary child support hearing in a few weeks. Dad is saying he will be claiming a hardship case and will not be paying child support. Dad works FT as a police officer and is earning $36,000 a year. He also works under the table (which he will deny) for his brother and is building a restaurant about 4 miles from his house. I know everyone who is unable to pay child support is building a restaurant, but anyway... He has no other children, lives with his parents and sister, has no car payment, owns his motorcycle, etc etc etc. He contributes $500 a month to his retirement account... He does provide the baby with health insurance as I own my own company and purchasing a private policy would be nearly impossible given the baby's health history. Is child support ever optional or do they give "hardship" exemptions to someone like him?

The only way child support would be optional is if both parents were to agree to that, and even then a judge might not go for it.

No, there is no way that he would qualify for a hardship exemption.

 

[CJane]

Don't even bring up the under the table cash. Just ask that he be ordered to pay guideline support based on his verifiable income.

His expenses are irrelevant. Child support would be the same whether he lived for free with a billionairess or paid $2000/month rent.

 

[mistoffolees]

His expenses are irrelevant.

His LIVING expenses are irrelevant. However, I don't want people to get the wrong idea. SOME expenses can affect CS in some states. For example, in OP's state, amounts that NCP pays for health insurance or child care can affect the calculation of CS.