What to do?

[fightingabuser]

What is the name of your state? Oregon
Problem, my children refuse to visit their father because of mental and physical abuse towards them. Kick in the face, cuncussion, broken tooth, drinking and driving, calling them retards and fu** bitches, I have heard these things as well from him to them. When they do get hurt he refuses to get them medical help knowing that they will tell the Doctors. My children go to counseling because of all this and my oldest 10 had to go to a behavioal specialist because she was diagnoised with depression due to the abuse. She says she would rather die than see him. The proble: His attorney sent me a later that I received tonight, demanding that I take the children to their father house for the weekend. He also stated that I accused my ex of whatever, he didnt state what and claimed that its my fault that the girls fear him, its not its his actions. I do not say anything, they do. All he does is caused problems for me without reason, he's the abusive one not me. He accused me of arson, unfounded, they are looking into his friends, neighbors and aquantices and old clients for his business. Last week he jumped my fence and had a shovel in hand, the Police missed him, he jumped over the fence before they got here. I do have a restraining order on him but some how he is borderline they said. I have also filed to modify his visitation due to his abuse. We were required to sign up for a court appointed mediation, I did call but he never did? Now he is trying to fight me for sole-custody stating that I am twisted and that I have brainwashed the girls. When we got divorced we were both required to take parenting class, mandatory in Oregon, he refused to go until my attorney threatening him with contempt. With this hurt him for custody, him refusing mediation or not. He is only tring to get out of paying child support and spousal support which he is in the rears.

 

[LdiJ]

What is the name of your state? Oregon
Problem, my children refuse to visit their father because of mental and physical abuse towards them. Kick in the face, cuncussion, broken tooth, drinking and driving, calling them retards and fu** bitches, I have heard these things as well from him to them. When they do get hurt he refuses to get them medical help knowing that they will tell the Doctors. My children go to counseling because of all this and my oldest 10 had to go to a behavioal specialist because she was diagnoised with depression due to the abuse. She says she would rather die than see him. The proble: His attorney sent me a later that I received tonight, demanding that I take the children to their father house for the weekend. He also stated that I accused my ex of whatever, he didnt state what and claimed that its my fault that the girls fear him, its not its his actions. I do not say anything, they do. All he does is caused problems for me without reason, he's the abusive one not me. He accused me of arson, unfounded, they are looking into his friends, neighbors and aquantices and old clients for his business. Last week he jumped my fence and had a shovel in hand, the Police missed him, he jumped over the fence before they got here. I do have a restraining order on him but some how he is borderline they said. I have also filed to modify his visitation due to his abuse. We were required to sign up for a court appointed mediation, I did call but he never did? Now he is trying to fight me for sole-custody stating that I am twisted and that I have brainwashed the girls. When we got divorced we were both required to take parenting class, mandatory in Oregon, he refused to go until my attorney threatening him with contempt. With this hurt him for custody, him refusing mediation or not. He is only tring to get out of paying child support and spousal support which he is in the rears.

If their father is abusing them like this then why in the world haven't you called CPS??

 

[CCfrNY]

Sounds like father should be locked up, and no where near your children. This is awful for your children. Do whatever you can to keep them away from him.

 

[fightingabuser]

I did call the Police and went down to the station for the cuncussion then I called CDS child services in Oregon. They called him told him that his visitation is suspended and not to contact us for a while. The wanted to do an investigation. They talked to the Dr. he stated wht the children told him, that he slammed my daughters head into a pole, that she passed out for a bite, that she ran outside of the place where they were at, he caught her she bite him and then was put into his car where she got sick. She could not go to PE for a week had a head ache for a week. Then they talked to their father, he stated that it was all lies and that he did nothing to her, he said it was custodial interference. The Police and CSD case worker went to the children s school questioned them both seperatly and asked then the same wuestions about 3 times and each time there was small indiscrepinsy's in their storeis, so they dropped the case. My daughter were very made over this. I call CSD evertime my daughters tell me what he has done and said to them, but they close the case because I find out things one to two days after the fact. Yes he is sick and does need meantl help, he has been this way for years. And has done the same thing to his step-kids by a preverece marriage of his. Those kids dont speak to him anylonger after their mother divorced him. Now my oldest daughter age 10 has to see a behavioral specialist for depression because of the abuse.
But what now, what can his attorney do to me. They have already taken me to court in March for contempt bevcause my daughter wont call him nor answer the phone when he calls. In Dec. he refused to take them for his week at Christmas time but he stated that I would not allow him to have them for more than 2 days. This case was dismissed that Judge said that it was all his fault and the children doo not like him because of his behavior.
So what can his attorney and the courts do to me now. The children have not seen him for 4 visits because they refuse to go. I see a attorney on Wensday but since I am very worrried about what they might try to do I would like everyone imput.