What to do?

[kpepperz]

What is the name of your state? IL
I am posting this for a friend of mine.

His wife went to a local women's shelter to claim abuse and managed to get a restraining order against him. I say "claimed" abuse because at the time she claims he abused her, he was already at the police station, giving a statement to the police about a crime he witnessed, and there is the security camera tape that verified this. Another time she claimed he abused her, he was with my husband and I the whole night.

The problem is, his wife now keeps calling him saying "Oh, if you want to get anything out of the house, you can come by and get it"(he didn't go), or "I'll come by your work and give you the bills so you can go thru them", or "Send him down here so I can talk to him, I won't do anything" when she showed up at my house when he was here talking to me. He didn't go talk to her, by the way. She will not leave him alone.

What he is afraid of is that she will try to say that he is violating the restraining order. What can he do when it's HER that keeps violating it? What can he do to protect himself.

BTW - the issue of her making false police reports is going to be addressed when they go to court in 2 weeks.

 

[Just Blue]

What is the name of your state? IL
I am posting this for a friend of mine.

His wife went to a local women's shelter to claim abuse and managed to get a restraining order against him. I say "claimed" abuse because at the time she claims he abused her, he was already at the police station, giving a statement to the police about a crime he witnessed, and there is the security camera tape that verified this. Another time she claimed he abused her, he was with my husband and I the whole night.

The problem is, his wife now keeps calling him saying "Oh, if you want to get anything out of the house, you can come by and get it"(he didn't go), or "I'll come by your work and give you the bills so you can go thru them", or "Send him down here so I can talk to him, I won't do anything" when she showed up at my house when he was here talking to me. He didn't go talk to her, by the way. She will not leave him alone.

What he is afraid of is that she will try to say that he is violating the restraining order. What can he do when it's HER that keeps violating it? What can he do to protect himself.

BTW - the issue of her making false police reports is going to be addressed when they go to court in 2 weeks.

Why do you think she is doing this? Why did she lie to get a RO?
As for her tring to see him...He just has to stay away from her..She can't violate the restraing order...only he can. A RO only pervents the defendent from aproching the plaintive...But if you have personally wittnessed these things (rather than just him telling you she did this) than you can go to court to be a wittness on the court date.

 

[BelizeBreeze]

What is the name of your state? IL
I am posting this for a friend of mine.

His wife went to a local women's shelter to claim abuse and managed to get a restraining order against him. I say "claimed" abuse because at the time she claims he abused her, he was already at the police station, giving a statement to the police about a crime he witnessed, and there is the security camera tape that verified this. Another time she claimed he abused her, he was with my husband and I the whole night.

The problem is, his wife now keeps calling him saying "Oh, if you want to get anything out of the house, you can come by and get it"(he didn't go), or "I'll come by your work and give you the bills so you can go thru them", or "Send him down here so I can talk to him, I won't do anything" when she showed up at my house when he was here talking to me. He didn't go talk to her, by the way. She will not leave him alone.

What he is afraid of is that she will try to say that he is violating the restraining order. What can he do when it's HER that keeps violating it? What can he do to protect himself.

BTW - the issue of her making false police reports is going to be addressed when they go to court in 2 weeks.

Tell him to stay the hell away from her, not to answer the phone when she calls and do not have any contact whatsoever with her until such time as he is in the same courtroom.

If you or your husband wish, you can go get some things for him.

Also, he should be speaking with an attorney about his 'proof' and filing a police report regarding the false allegations.

 

[kpepperz]

Why do you think she is doing this? Why did she lie to get a RO?
..But if you have personally wittnessed these things (rather than just him telling you she did this) than you can go to court to be a wittness on the court date.

She has been acting more and more "off" in the last 8 months. She was seeing a guy in town, and he decided to end things with her and she is not happy with that. She has self-inflicted injuries and tried to blame them on her husband. I have witnessed her going off on him, in public, in an attempt to make it look like he was coming after her. My husband and I both were there that night. She is psyco, plain and simple.

Thank you for your advice. I will pass the information on to him.

 

[sheltielover]

Arizona

The person who took out the ro can violate the ro as well. Just becasue she took the ro out from what you are telling us here that she is also violating the ro. I would call the police and report it each and every time she calls and "wants this or that". And I would also record it.
If there are items he wants from the home can't he call the police and have the police come and do a "citizen stand by", just so he can get what ever items he wants out of his house. If the police are there more than likely she will not try and pull anything. But if she truly is a "psycho" like you state who knows what will happen. I would make sure the police officer who ever goes out to the home with him is fully aware of her comments and what she has and is trying to do. I would also make sure the officer knows there is a ro and she is violating it.
see what happens then....
Or you could always wait until the court date and see what happens then.


Good Luck

 

[stealth2]

Arizona

The person who took out the ro can violate the ro as well. Just becasue she took the ro out from what you are telling us here that she is also violating the ro. I would call the police and report it each and every time she calls and "wants this or that". And I would also record it.

#1. Unless it is a MUTUAL RO, she can contact him all she wants. HE is the one restrained from contact.

#2. IL is a two party state. So your advice regarding recording her is pretty dumb.

Please try not to answer questions when you have no clue as to what the real answer is.

 

[Ithildriel]

#1. Unless it is a MUTUAL RO, she can contact him all she wants. HE is the one restrained from contact.

#2. IL is a two party state. So your advice regarding recording her is pretty dumb.

Please try not to answer questions when you have no clue as to what the real answer is.

Get 'er stealth...RAWR

 

[sheltielover]

Get 'er stealth...RAWR

cat claw, cat claw.... Oh hurt me! Big deal so I said 1 think that was a LITTLE off.

Bad girl, Bad girl..

I know thats how it is here in Arizona. WHICH IS MOST DIFFENTLY DIFFERENT THAN MOST STATES. HOWEVER I WAS SIMPLY SAYING THAT BECAUSE IT COULD BE THE SAME AS IT IS HERE IN ARIZONA.... were still a little backwards here, come on!

cry, cry, cry....

 

[Just Blue]

cat claw, cat claw.... Oh hurt me! Big deal so I said 1 think that was a LITTLE off.

Bad girl, Bad girl..

I know thats how it is here in Arizona. WHICH IS MOST DIFFENTLY DIFFERENT THAN MOST STATES. HOWEVER I WAS SIMPLY SAYING THAT BECAUSE IT COULD BE THE SAME AS IT IS HERE IN ARIZONA.... were still a little backwards here, come on!

cry, cry, cry....

If you don't know the law for the state the OP is in...don't give advice to them. It is misleading and confusing...AND if the OP were to follow your advice there could be problems.

 

[sheltielover]

Arizona

I just went back and read YOUR ANSWER.


#1. Unless it is a MUTUAL RO, she can contact him all she wants. HE is the one restrained from contact.

So see, you didn't even know if it was a MUTUAL RO.

#2. IL is a two party state. So your advice regarding recording her is pretty dumb.

Not, because if this is how the woman is starting out, he may need those recordings 1 day...

Please try not to answer questions when you have no clue as to what the real answer is.

I never stated I was an attorney. Are u?

 

[Ohiogal]

Arizona

I just went back and read YOUR ANSWER.


#1. Unless it is a MUTUAL RO, she can contact him all she wants. HE is the one restrained from contact.

So see, you didn't even know if it was a MUTUAL RO.


Hence why the word UNLESS was used. If it is NOT a mutual restraining order she can contact him all she wants and he cannot contact her at all. #2. IL is a two party state. So your advice regarding recording her is pretty dumb.

Not, because if this is how the woman is starting out, he may need those recordings 1 day...


Don't you understand anything? It is a TWO PARTY STATE -- meaning both parties have to consent to being recorded. And since he needs her permission to tape her during a conversation, he would not be able to use them for ANYTHING because they would have been acquired illegally. Hence he could get sued/charged for his breaking of the law. Illegal evidence is NOT admissible and would cause him trouble.
Please try not to answer questions when you have no clue as to what the real answer is.

I never stated I was an attorney. Are u?

I am and you are an idiot. Have a good day.

 

[stealth2]

#2. IL is a two party state. So your advice regarding recording her is pretty dumb.

Not, because if this is how the woman is starting out, he may need those recordings 1 day...

Do you even understand what it means for a state to be two party when it comes to recording? I'll explain it slowly. B-o-t-h p-a-r-t-i-e-s m-u-s-t c-o-n-s-e-n-t t-o t-h-e r-e-c-o-r-d-i-n-g. If one does not - the recording is ILLEGAL. DO you understand what ILLEGAL means?

 

[Just Blue]

Do you even understand what it means for a state to be two party when it comes to recording? I'll explain it slowly. B-o-t-h p-a-r-t-i-e-s m-u-s-t c-o-n-s-e-n-t t-o t-h-e r-e-c-o-r-d-i-n-g. If one does not - the recording is ILLEGAL. DO you understand what ILLEGAL means?

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