When can a minor decide custodial home

[James Peterson]

Hi,
We are a blended family from Florida. My 11 year old step son has been under the sole custodial care of his mother and my wife since he was a toddler. Recently he's been coached by his dad that when he turns 12 years old he can decide where he wants to live. Meanwhile, my wife has made a heroic effort to shepard her son through his first year of middle school. it's been paying off on the report card but this threat is constantly hanging over her, and my stepson has become quite aware of his options. We have endured hypochondria, refusals, pouting, wailing, endless phonecalls to his father each time anything is expected of him, you name it. Two nights ago he clung to his mother's bumper because she had a professional meeting to attend and wouldn't take him to a basketball game. She got out and pried him loose from the bumper but when he came loose he claimed to have hurt himself and immediately plead "physical abuse" to his father, who called the CPA on us. As a result, our home was invaded and we had to make a full accounting of ourselves. My social security number was solicited and my background is being investigated. I wasn't even there. I feel like my constitutional rights have been deeply violated. We have had his arm fully examined and there is no aparent injury. I want to file for a change of venue, and do whatever leg work I can to get the largely symbolic 280/mo child support doubled. We can't afford a lawyer, but she has taken the biological father and his lawyers on for 11 years and sent him back to mommy with many quills in his nose. Advice?
James

 

[SMURFEELAW]

childrens wishes may be taken into account at the age of 12 depending on maturity and from the sound of it you don't have to worry the child is acting like a spoiled brat not a mature pre-teen. On the other note, try counseling for the child, dad is obviously working him.

Next on the support when was the last modification. If over two years ago you can often ask for a review of the record, if more recent than that then you usually have to prove a change of circumstances up the a 20% increase/decrease.

Good Luck and get to the counseling right away.

 

[Teggie]

Please be cautious. I am not a legal person, just a mom who got dragged by her ex through a similar situation. He recently obtained temporary custody of our 13 yr old daughter because she told the judge she wanted to live with him and signed a parental preference form. Her motives were presented in court (she wanted to see her BF 50 miles away that we did not condone her seeing). Our house was shown to be safe. (The CPS worker he called on us testified on my behalf). Still no matter what I did the judge ruled in her dad's favor. He did not take our 6 yr old, said he saw no reason to. My ex has no home of his own he lives with his sister, her husband and two daughters. My 13 yr old had her own room at our place.

I would encourage you to document everything, get counseling as suggested above, keep your side of the street clean. Start saving money and have a plan, contact your states legal aid program & ask if you qualify, if you don't qualify contact your states bar association and ask for lawyers who have agreed to offer services at a cheaper cost. See what you can sell if you need to, because if you get sued for custody your going to need every penny. And beleive me, a lawyer was an absolute necessity in my case.

I speak from experience, I've been there. I only hope this may help you a little. It's been the worst experience of my life. Now I'm learning how to cope, how to be the "other parant". I try to look at the good, my ex will now have to be the disciplinary parant and assume all things involved in raising a teenaged girl. It should be a learning experience for them both. I'm going to remain as active in my daughter's life as I am allowed.
I wish you all the luck, take care. Teggie