When should spousal support be pursued

[Bali Hai]

Bali you are being absurd here...and that is what scares me for the OP...because he appears to actually be listening to you. Its absurd to think that either a woman OR man would get any alimony in a situation like this one.

Hopefully he will consult with a local attorney and get set straight...before he spends absurd amounts of legal fees.

You still haven't explained where your cutoff numbers are for when alimony would not be warranted.

Is it 70k v 110k? 70k v 120k? 50k v 100k? 50k v 150k? Which is it??

I'll be waiting for your advice to a future female OP with the same numbers.

 

[midad8]

Bali you are being absurd here...and that is what scares me for the OP...because he appears to actually be listening to you. Its absurd to think that either a woman OR man would get any alimony in a situation like this one.

Hopefully he will consult with a local attorney and get set straight...before he spends absurd amounts of legal fees.

I appreciate hearing everyone's point of view, even the more extreme ones. It helps puts things in things in perspective for me. I am surprised, but also refreshed, to hear some of the female posters being able to put aside their anger and not pursue the husband's money even though he makes much more. Where can I find these types of women? However, I do agree that although there is no gender bias in the law, it would be more difficult for a man to get alimony than a women. Just like many things in life, inequality is everywhere even if the law doesn't allow it.

I have to say I am in the middle right now with my case, though leaning towards not seeking spousal support because having done the math, getting a little more "piece of the pie" is probably not worth the the risk of pissing off the ex and making things difficult to resolve moving forward. As difficult as it is sometimes at reaching agreements right now, we are still able to reach them with no outside help. (Still uncontested with minimal legal fees!) Springing spousal support on her for a measly $500/mth would be "winning the battle but losing the war" like one of you posted. Still, I will be meeting with an attorney to find out what my rights are under MI law.

 

[TinkerBelleLuvr]

Since you are capable of earning a living wage AT.THIS.TIME, the chances of the judge awarding you spousal support is minimal. You can ask my X who has the same degree as me but, for his reasons, he wasn't working a W-2 job. No, he didn't get it because he was CAPABLE of earning the same amount as me. In your case, with your current salary, the chances are slim.

Now, how did they get to the child support amount? it should be based on number of days since it's more than standard visitation.

 

[ecmst12]

There may be a strategy of getting her to agree to a lower child support amount in exchange for you not seeking spousal support. If you DID get her to agree to this, I wouldn't then fight over paying 50% of out of pocket medical or extracurriculars or anything else. And it wouldn't necessarily be a permanent thing; she could go back in a few months or years and ask for a recalculation of CS. But it's something to consider, and ask your attorney about.

 

[midad8]

Now, how did they get to the child support amount? it should be based on number of days since it's more than standard visitation.

The base support for child support (base support+healthcare costs+childcare costs) is, fairly enough, based on income. So my base support is less than hers. However, the overnight offset in the MI formula is a little ridiculous to me. I already wrote to the MI Friend of the Court about my observations. Here is an example of a 2 week cycle with some numbers similar to my case:

Days with---------Amt per mth-----Difference from
Parent-A/B-------B pays A----------previous time split
7/7-----------------$0
8/6-----------------$535 (41%)---------$535
9/5-----------------$931 (71%)---------$396
10/4----------------$1,158 (88%)-------$227
11/3----------------$1,264 (96%)-------$106
12/2----------------$1,304 (99%)-------$40
13/1----------------$1,315 (100%)------$11
14/0----------------$1,316 (100%)------$1

So, basically, if I'm trying to be a good parent but unable to watch the kids just 2 nights a month (in my case, it was so we can maintain a consistent school schedule for the kids), I will be docked $535! And that's just my portion. This means that the state is assuming the expense is $1300 for two kids for those 2 nights. That's $325 per kid per night! What about those parents on the 11/3 schedule. There' really not much penalty for shucking your parental responsibility and just go to a 14/0 schedule. Totally unfair. The formula should be strictly proportional to the number of overnights instead of a goemetrically decreasing amount.