Where do I start? Help....

[Elvia]

What is the name of your state? California
I dont know where to start except I had a Dui case my child was w/me at the time... I was charged for endagering a child...so on and so forth I was incarcerated for 5 months in the meantime the father of my son had my son. I got out however I did not manage to get custody back of my child since I was real unstable at the time. But here is the catch my son who is now 8yrs old.. never stopped living w/me and that is the reason I was not so concerned what the court papers said. My ex and I had arranged that my son would live w/me no matter what.. I had made a mistake but by all means I am not a bad person or mother for that matter. Here's the problem now 3 yrs later I have a boyfriend and now that the ex found out about it... has tooken my son to stay w/him. I love my son and I have been nothing but good to him. Just because I am moving on w/my life does not give my ex a right to just snatch my kid away. My mistake of course was letting this go for so long.. I should have known this would catch up to me. He was granted the custody through Childrens Court... the guy does not really have anything on me. I am the better parent and I know I am. He lives in this country illegal does not even have a ss#... He has been manipulating the situation for way too long now and I am ready to fight back... Can anyone offer some advice where do I start. This guy has a paper that states he has physical custudy when really I do... I always have. I hope this makes sense and someone can help me out. I should of never trusted this guy! I love my son and he needs to be w/me.

 

[jlc614]

If he has a paper from the courts stating that he has physical custody then he does. It doesn't matter if the child was with you, what matters is what the court ordered. You need to talk to an attorney to see if you can gain custody.

The fact that you feel you are a better parent doesn't change the judgement and the fact that you were charged and convicted of endangering the welfare of the child does not make a good statement for you. What were you thinking when you got in that car, espically with your child?

 

[Elvia]

You are right... I wasnt thinking when I made that decision. However I have moved on from that and as a matter of fact that whole entire experience has made me a better person. He was not granted custody because that happened but because at the time they needed to close the case and he appeared to have it more together. What I am saying is why should he have the custody if the child never had lived w/him. It hasnt even been a week since he took him and the teacher is already calling me.. she is concerned... homeworks not getting turned in and he looks awfully tired @ school. This never happens when he is with me. He had perfect attendance for 4 straight months untill he took him a for a couple of weeknights. The attorney that closed the case in Childrens court told me if the child lives w/me there is no reason why he should have custody and to go back to Superior/Civil one of those courts and get custody... I hadnt done it cause I got comfortable. My ex still loves me and has used my son as a weapon which is so wrong. My child is suffering because of it. Even before this ever happened I have always had these problems. The guy is jealous, controlling, very short tempered and tells me off for no apparent reasons. I on the other hand try to handle things in a civil manner. Besides we are all adults here.

 

[stealth2]

The only thing you can do is file for a modification.

 

[Elvia]

File for a modification...that sounds so simple. What am I really in for? I mean how complex could this possible get, will it be a real long process and or expensive? I dont know about this kind of stuff.

 

[stealth2]

It's impossible to say - a lot depends on how hard your ex fights it. But what are your options?

 

[Elvia]

I'm willing to compromise as long as we can resolve this as soon as possible. All this fighting back and forth is really taking a toll on my 8 yr old. Options....None at this point except hope we can get along untill we come to an agreement.