Who decides whats "reasonable"

[pegmatite9999]

I guess what I should claify is that DAD signs all the letters and attends the meetings also. The bottom line is I have chosen to bring this child in to my home and support her and "fill-in" where her mother is incapable of supporting her. It is not this childs fault that her mother is unable to properly advocate for her. If I sat around and did nothing and let her fail out of school, I would not feel good about myself. The school has had no problem recognizing me as a partner in SD's education. I am not so full of myself or caught up in the law that I am going to tell my SD I can't help her because she is not "legally" related to me. I simply want to help her be successful in school.

Now THAT is reasonable. So take Dad and go to the superintendent. Ask him/her to define what is reasonable. Chances are you will find some support there. IF not, there are higher offices to pursue. GOOD LUCK!

 

[ezmarelda]

What is the name of your state? California

My SD is in 8th grade, she has had a 504 plan in place due to her diffculties in school from ADHD. The school offers her "accomodations" which mostly are BS. They do seat her close to the teacher in her classes. This year she has done MUCH better in completing her homework. She has an A- in homework for her math class, but still has an F on her tests. I feel that she has difficulty concentrating on her tests due to the discraction of other kids in the room.

I suggested at our last 504 meeting that SD be allowed to take her test in a "quiet, distraction free setting". My SD suggested the library at the school. The 504 coordinator agreed that Amber had difficulty concentrating on her tests but said they could not accomadate her with a quiet distraction free setting because they did not have anyone available to supervise her. (Although my SD says the librarian is always in the library) They did offer to allow her to take her test in the corner of the room with her desk facing the wall. This was not acceptable to me because it does not do enough to reduce the noise and movement distractions.

Does the school have the ultimate say in what is considered a "reasonable accomodation" or is there any thing I can do to "force" them to accommodate my SD on her tests.

I am going to suggest you make Dad handle things on the legal end of this but if you want info for him...
What School District is she in?
Have you spoken to a principal?or just a teacher?
also there might be helpful info here
http://www.cde.ca.gov/ds/sd/cb/specialed.asp

edit to add...Has a IEP been done or put in place? This could make a BIG differance in what the school must "accomodate"

 

[pegmatite9999]

I am going to suggest you make Dad handle things on the legal end of this but if you want info for him...
What School District is she in?
Have you spoken to a principal?or just a teacher?
also there might be helpful info here
http://www.cde.ca.gov/ds/sd/cb/specialed.asp

Yeah, look up all that crap, grab your husband and go to someone who will change your stepdaughter's circumstances. My wife took a serious and selfless interest in one of my daughter's learning problems and enrolled her in Sylvan Learning Center. The mother had no interest in getting the special help that my child needed. While I paid for the tutoring, I did have to work, and my wife drove my child three times per week. She went from a D student to a B student in a few months. Don't let these people diminish your role as a stepmother to this child. You're doing a great job! Take Dad and get help.

 

[ezmarelda]

Yeah, look up all that crap, grab your husband and go to someone who will change your stepdaughter's circumstances. My wife took a serious and selfless interest in one of my daughter's learning problems and enrolled her in Sylvan Learning Center. The mother had no interest in getting the special help that my child needed. While I paid for the tutoring, I did have to work, and my wife drove my child three times per week. She went from a D student to a B student in a few months. Don't let these people diminish your role as a stepmother to this child. You're doing a great job! Take Dad and get help.

I am not attempting to diminish anything...I was a step-mother who raised my step-son basicly alone for 12 years so don't get me started(besides this is NOT the place for it)

I AM trying to assist someone in a "legal" manner as is protocall on a "legal advice" forum.

 

[BelizeBreeze]

Dsmith,
I am only going to say this one time and if you choose not to listen that's not my problem.

You have been advised by an attorney. If you continue to think that your interference in a situation that has nothing to do with you, not only can the child's mother bring a civil action against you AND dad, but the school can bar you from any further proceedings regarding the child.

You have nothing in this situation but at home with the father of the child. The 'advice' that peg has been giving you is not only legal ignorance but will place you in the above position.

i strongly suggest you have a sitdown with the child's father and then leave it alone. Otherwise you had better have your OWN attorney at hand.

 

[DsmithAsmith]

The person who told me they were unable to give SD testing accomodations I requested was the guidence counselor. The counselor acts as the schools 504 coordinator. The letter my husband and I just finished is addressed to her, but we are going to CC the principal.

As far as an IEP, the school determined that SD did not qualify for special education, but did qualify for accomodations under Section 504 of the ADA. Our school district then makes a written 504 plan that is similar to an IEP in the sense that the purpose is to identify issues that are causing educational problems for your child, and then make accomodations to hopefully "level the playing field" so the child can have an education as equal to their peers as posible. The 504 plan/process does not have the procedural safeguards that the IEP process does though.

 

[pegmatite9999]

I am not attempting to diminish anything...I was a step-mother who raised my step-son basicly alone for 12 years so don't get me started(besides this is NOT the place for it)

I AM trying to assist someone in a "legal" manner as is protocall on a "legal advice" forum.

So she brings Dad, keeps it legal and she stays invovlved. Give it a rest.

 

[BelizeBreeze]

So she brings Dad, keeps it legal and she stays invovlved. Give it a rest.

I suggest you put an end to it. You have shown with your posts in this thread that you have no conception of the legal slippery slope this poster is on and your 'advice' is not close to anything legal or right in the current situation.

if you continue, I will take steps to have you sanctioned from this site.

 

[pegmatite9999]

Dsmith,
I am only going to say this one time and if you choose not to listen that's not my problem.

You have been advised by an attorney. If you continue to think that your interference in a situation that has nothing to do with you, not only can the child's mother bring a civil action against you AND dad, but the school can bar you from any further proceedings regarding the child.

You have nothing in this situation but at home with the father of the child. The 'advice' that peg has been giving you is not only legal ignorance but will place you in the above position.

i strongly suggest you have a sitdown with the child's father and then leave it alone. Otherwise you had better have your OWN attorney at hand.

She is not interfering with anything if she accompanies the father to a meeting regarding the daughter's educational well being in which she has a vested interest. All she wants to know is what the school considers "reasonable". Did you get the part where father has sole LEGAL custody of child? What's Mom gonna sue for exactly?

 

[BelizeBreeze]

She is not interfering with anything if she accompanies the father to a meeting regarding the daughter's educational well being in which she has a vested interest. All she wants to know is what the school considers "reasonable". Did you get the part where father has sole LEGAL custody of child? What's Mom gonna sue for exactly?

If you knew anything about the law you could answer that.

 

[pegmatite9999]

If you knew anything about the law you could answer that.

Why not tell the poster, please. Are you here to help, or are you here to act like you know what you're talking about?

 

[BelizeBreeze]

Why not tell the poster, please. Are you here to help, or are you here to act like you know what you're talking about?

I'm not here to teach you. Since you seem to do nothing on this forum but insert your ignorance of the law into every other post I'll let the administrator deal with you.

Once you're gone I'll deal with the problems at hand.

 

[DsmithAsmith]

Actually I really am curious. Although it does not matter because my SD's mother is so caught up in drug and alcohol addiction she cant take care of herself let alone bring forth some crap legal action against me for helping her child. Actually my SD's mom is GREATFUL that I am able to help. This is not a hostile situation between anyone in the family, if there is hostility, it is between US (MOM, DAD, and ME SM) and the school not between eachother.

The reason I am curious is because when I was a child I lived with someone who WAS NOT my parent. The school required her to sign an extra form when she enrolled me, that basically said she agreed to act as my guardian in issues pertaining to school. When my attendance became an issue, they brought her in and threatened to take action against her if she did not make sure I went to school.

If she suposedly had no legal right and could be sued by my parents or whatever you are saying is possible, how can the school hold her accountable for my attendence. She was not legally obligated right?!?

If it is as simple as signing a form agreeing to ACT as someones legal guardian... then what is the big issue?

 

[ezmarelda]

Actually I really am curious. Although it does not matter because my SD's mother is so caught up in drug and alcohol addiction she cant take care of herself let alone bring forth some crap legal action against me for helping her child. Actually my SD's mom is GREATFUL that I am able to help. This is not a hostile situation between anyone in the family, if there is hostility, it is between US (MOM, DAD, and ME SM) and the school not between eachother.

The reason I am curious is because when I was a child I lived with someone who WAS NOT my parent. The school required her to sign an extra form when she enrolled me, that basically said she agreed to act as my guardian in issues pertaining to school. When my attendance became an issue, they brought her in and threatened to take action against her if she did not make sure I went to school.

If she suposedly had no legal right and could be sued by my parents or whatever you are saying is possible, how can the school hold her accountable for my attendence. She was not legally obligated right?!?

If it is as simple as signing a form agreeing to ACT as someones legal guardian... then what is the big issue?

The differance is as a step-parent you are not "legaly" bound to the child in any way. A legaly apointed gardian for a child is.

 

[pegmatite9999]

The differance is as a step-parent you are not "legaly" bound to the child in any way. A legaly apointed gardian for a child is.

Never take legal advice from a person who can't spell "legally".