Who pays for monitored visits?

[childrenRpeople]

What is the name of your state?CA

I'm pretty sure that my drug-addicted, abusive ex is going to get supervised visits after he admitted everything (including taking our son on a drug run) in mediation. The mediator made it clear that she was making a supervised visits/help-for-ex recommendation to the court.
Who has to pay for monitored visits? Who pays for his random drug tests?
He said that I have to pay for these things and if I don't, he'll get alimony and pay for them with the alimony (we were married for 2 yrs. 7 months).

Thanks for any and all perspective.

 

[snostar]

The judge will decide, hopefully you have an attorney that will point out that since he put himself in the position for supervised visits he should have to pay. It can also be argued that he should have to pay for testing at least up until the point when they are negative for a period of time, or there are no longer immediate reasons for it. Another option for drug testing could be that he pays up front and if the test is positive, if it is negative you reimburse him.

 

[tigger22472]

I have never heard of the parent that doesn't have supervised visitation having to pay for the supervisor. As pointed out it's not your fault he put himself in that position. Also you weren't married long enough for him to get alimony... he's just blowing smoke and full of it. He's lucky if he gets ANY visitation. I know a man who took his 9 year old out looking for tanks to help him make meth and he lost all visitation all together.

 

[I AM ALWAYS LIABLE]

I have never heard of the parent that doesn't have supervised visitation having to pay for the supervisor. As pointed out it's not your fault he put himself in that position. Also you weren't married long enough for him to get alimony... he's just blowing smoke and full of it. He's lucky if he gets ANY visitation. I know a man who took his 9 year old out looking for tanks to help him make meth and he lost all visitation all together.

My response:

Excellent response, and 100% correct.

Oh, and in California, it's called "Spousal Support".

IAAL

 

[childrenRpeople]

Wow.

I didn't even think that he could stand to lose all visitation. We weren't even proposing that, only supervised visits.
He DID admit to the mediator about taking our son on a drug run. As he so eloquently put it to the mediator,
"The kid was asleep the whole time in the car. It was a drive through transaction. I didn't even get the goods, only dropped off money. Come on, it's just pot...no one ever died with a joint in their arm."
Needless to say, she wasn't won over by his masterful persuasion *chuckle*

Thanks for the info about who pays for supervised visits. He thought that I would have to pay. I think he's just blowing smoke as you say.
He also claims that he will file extensions and appeals just to make this all more expensive and trying for me. He says he doesn't care since his parents are paying and it doesn't cost him a dime.
How sad is that.
I don't think he'll get spousal support either. I'm the sole financial provider of our son who lives with me and I would think a court would consider that.

BTW...I really do appreciate everyone's insight and responses. It's been a trying time but knowledge helps me combat fear and anxiety.

Thank you

 

[tigger22472]

I didn't even think that he could stand to lose all visitation. We weren't even proposing that, only supervised visits.
He DID admit to the mediator about taking our son on a drug run. As he so eloquently put it to the mediator,
"The kid was asleep the whole time in the car. It was a drive through transaction. I didn't even get the goods, only dropped off money. Come on, it's just pot...no one ever died with a joint in their arm."
Needless to say, she wasn't won over by his masterful persuasion *chuckle*

The stupidity of people for some reason still amazes me. Just when I think I've heard it all then I hear something else.

The man who lost complete visitation was busted the first time for speeding. When he was pulled over he had different forms of meth on him (and a gun shot wound.. still not sure of that one). Mom IMMEDIATELY filed for and emergency hearing. In the process of all of this it was found he'd taken his son with him on trips to look for tanks and in fact had gotten some of the Ammoniam on some of those trips. At the emergency hearing the dad tried to play it off. The arresting officer even testified for mom. He tried to convince the judge and the officer that the things in his truck weren't his. The officer told him that the things were clearly visible and that if they weren't his that he would of immediately reported it to the police and not drove his truck. The judge ordered NO CONTACT/NO VISITATION until things were settled and even then HE has to refile for visitation. Less then a week later dad was arrested again and has been in jail since. The judge had told him he was not to call his son, he was not to go to any of his son's ball games, NOTHING... so yeah, it does happen.

In fact, if your mediator is doing a proper job I would hope she reported him because that is 'endangering the life of a child.'

 

[childrenRpeople]

Duty of a mediator

Yes, it is also my understanding that it is the mediator's responsibility (duty by law?) to report any child endangerment/potential for child endangerment and domestic abuse.
I'll get the report on Monday...we'll see what the moderator said and I'll report back.