Step mom here too
I don't try to figure out a way to keep my husband from paying child support. I try to figure out a way to stop a jealous ex wife from screwing him and me both. My husband was in the arrears when we met because he had been out of work for medical reasons for 3 months. We got a loan and paid it up to date so that he wouldn't have arrears anymore. His child support comes right out of his check, along with the medical coverage on the kids. Mom lives on welfare and takes in foster kids for her support. His ex had been very successful in alienating him from his children for two years and he was ready to throw in the towel. I gave him the support he needed to get back into court and gain appropriate visitation for a parent who lives two thousand mile away from his children. When he finally got to see his kids they called him by his first name and said they had a new dad now (mom's b/f) and that mom said he was their old dad. Now we see the kids on a regular basis and they call him dad. We have a long way to go but all my husband can do is talk to his kids regularly and see them as much as possible. Were does step mom come in? Usually the men are so drained by the ex, that they need another women to support them in what they truley want. A women who is not telling them they are loosers and that they should stay away from their children. I have seen with my own eyes that although in the beginning I had to do a lot of the leg work and reminding my husband to press on, now he does it all on his own. His ex won't talk to him anymore cause she is ticked off that he won't put up with her mess. (This is a Wonderful thing!!) He and his children have bonded now and he maintains the relationship on his own now with little assistance from me.
So I say more power to step mom's who are working towards building relationships between their husbands and the children.
Sorry for rambling.
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