Why is the law so blind when it comes to Fathers having full custody...

[bushabizness]

I reside in a small town in Pennsylvania, I have been having trouble with my ex-wife for several years with the care and custody of my son. We have a custody consent which I had to come up with because she is out there when it comes to the parental care for our child. Our son is only 8 and she thinks it is fine to let him run the streets with his bike and not return home until dark (HE IS 8 ). She lets him watch rated r movies and says its fine because she watches them with him. And believe me there is more but I would need a week to supply the book for you to read. She lies about weekends so our Son can lie to me as well because the plans she told me differ than what exactly happened, she basically uses our son to get her ex-boyfriend back. Why,How and for what reason I have no idea. I can tell you more but like I said it would be long.
To get right to the point I have sent my ex-wife several certified letters for her to make changes and to follow the custody consent and to share information with me about the caretaking of our child, and she has given me nothing for several years, I sent the letters on January 19th 2005 and as of today she had over 30 days to respond and did not. What can I do to bust her being a poor parent, granted she is a good mom, but she is a bad role model for a parent and her lifestlye is not helping him any.
If anyone wants anymore information about the whole issue I will be happy to share and get some advise and or opinions about what to do. I just want my son to be safe and live a long great life and I have a bad feeling that something will happen if I do not stop the non-parenting as soon as possible. thanks for listening and I hope to hear from someone...

 

[SuzieWahoozie]

The situation has nothing to do with man vs. woman. In order for you to get custody, you need to prove Mom is unfit. Even by your own admission, she is not unfit...perhaps not perfect, and a bit unorthodox, but even you describe her as a "good mother."

If she were doing drugs, incarcerated, homeless, or something like that that directly endangered the well-being of the child, you'd stand a chance. Allowing a child of 8 to watch R-rated movies, although not stellar, isn't going to be enough to get a custody change.

The other question I have is this: What do you mean you have a custody plan? Is that something court-ordered? If she isn't following a court order of any type, you can file for contempt. If it isn't court-ordered, you need to get custody/visitation/child support officially ordered through the court ASAP to protect everyone involved, especially the child.

Although we live in IN, my husband completed a custody battle over my stepdaughter in which he was awarded custody. It took two years, and more than $50K...and it was tough. Mom had to lose her home, he had to prove her addiction to prescription medication, and many many many other things. We had to pay a Guardian ad Litem and a custody evaluator. It took alot of time and money, but he was awarded sole custody, which is VERY rare in any state, since the child was already 11 years old at the time and had always lived with her mother.

It can be done, but it is rare, difficult, and expensive. If your son isn't in any real danger, you need to get your viistation court-ordered and enjoy the time you have!

I am just curious...my husband also grew up in a small PA town...Nazareth. You aren't by any chance near that town are you?

 

[LdiJ]

The previous poster gave you a very good answer...however I will add something to that.

Please realize that full/sole custody is rarely awarded to either parent these days. The norm is at least joint legal custody (joint decision making) with one of the parents having primary residential custody. More and more dads these days are able to get primary residential custody.

Perhaps if you focused on getting a greater share of time with your son now...as opposed to the all out battle for full/sole custody, you might be able to eventually get primary residential custody.