Will I REALLY be held responsible for this?

[Isis1]

Whats REALLY funny is that I dont have a lawyer. My ex THINKS I do. I have no idea WHY he thinks that but he somehow got it in his head that I have one so he ran out and got one. He is 3000 plus dollars behind on his child support but told me he didnt have a problem spending the 2000 it would take to get a lawyer. Then last week I heard he is paying this lawyer 100 either a week or a month (cant remember) to retain him because he cant afford to pay. Of course..thats why he wants ME to pay his fees so he can take me to court to lower the child support.

i have to say, congrats on standing up this time and not letting this man sand bag you. lawyers are not as scary as they seem when you educate yourself. the last lawyer i went up against, i snickered at. she lost her "i know more then you" attittude. and was very nice to me after the hearing. i actually felt bad for her afterwards.

i wouldn't worry too much on the lawyers fees, he brought the issue up, not you. likelyhood, you won't get ordered to pay.

 

[maryjo]

Ok...tomorrow is court. I am soooo nervous!!! I was ok until about 2pm today and then it hit me and I have been feeling sick ever since.

I have an amazing friend who is going to be calling soon to talk me through my nerves. I just want this over.

I am still not sure if this is an actual hearing or just to request a hearing. I did realize that its the same lawyer who finalized our divorce.

I am just worried about the unknown. What they might have they can hold over me. I havent done anything wrong that i know of but my ex is veeeeery sneaky.

Anyway, just wanted to let yall know what was going on and I will be back afterwards to let yall know what happend. Thank you again for all the support and advice.


Edited to say: Oh yeah...yesterday the ex decided he just wasnt going to bring our son back at 6 like he usually does. When I texted him when he was already 30 minutes late asking when he was going to bring him back the response was "When I get him there." Then he called me and tried to talk me into driving out there to get him. When our son got home he told me that the girlfriend was calling me names. AFter I texted asking when he was coming home she told my son "Well...we were going to my mother's house for dinner but since your mother is being a witch and making you go home we cant go." And they didnt even feed him dinner! And at that point he was already over an hour late coming home and they hadnt even left yet! My son said "That wasnt right. She doesnt have any right talking about you and calling you names like that." I only said "I am glad you realize that."

My son asked me if I had gotten a text from his dad saying that I had to communicate with the girlfriend from now on instead of his dad. I told him no and asked why. He said the girlfriend told his dad to tell me that since she takes care of him most of the time that I should communicate with only her and not his dad. Strangely enough...I never got THAT message. ROFL!!!

Just thought it strange that they tried to pull this two days before the court date!

 

[maryjo]

Ok...so. It was no biggie. LOL!

I WAS just a motion to set a hearing. My ex didnt show. His lawyer...didnt seem so scary this time around.

It took me longer to find a parking spot than it did to see the judge. LOL!

So..we have a hearing date for either Dec. 14th or 15th. Cant remember exactly which but his lawyer is going to send me some paperwork. But the judge did want us to go to mediation first. I am kind of relieved at that and kind of not but I wont worry about it now.

I am glad I didnt sign everything over months ago. If nothing else, I did buy my son and I more time with the current child support order. (Not that he is paying what he was ordered to.) But I am so not too thrilled because this also means even longer before I can file again to go after the back child support and since this coming year will be my ex's year to claim our son on his taxes..I wont get that back this year either. Although we do have a stipulation in our order that if he is behind he cant claim him. Year before last when it was his year he was behind and he begged me to let him claim him and he would use that money to get caught up on his child support. I did...and I never saw a dime. I dont plan on letting it go that easily this time.

Anyway, so, yeah. I am done for now. I am not sure when mediation is going to be but it should be a fun experience! LOL!

When the judge asked if we wanted to go to mediation the laywer said "Yes..because there is definately a lack of funding here!" I know he said that to get the judge's sympathy but I thought it just made his client look rather pathetic....

 

[TinkerBelleLuvr]

I would be prepared to have it completely documented as to HOW behind your X is.

Is he self-employed? Or does he have a job with a paycheck? If the latter, I would ask that the judge order garnishment on the child support.

While there, you might also go for documentation of how much time the X actually takes the child, versus what is in the court order. That might INCREASE the support since it's based on time spent with both parents.

 

[maryjo]

I would be prepared to have it completely documented as to HOW behind your X is.

Is he self-employed? Or does he have a job with a paycheck? If the latter, I would ask that the judge order garnishment on the child support.

While there, you might also go for documentation of how much time the X actually takes the child, versus what is in the court order. That might INCREASE the support since it's based on time spent with both parents.

Is there a way to document how far he is behind other than calling and asking? I did that on Monday and was told how far behind. Is there another way to get actual, physical, documentation?

He isnt self employeed. He works for a grocery store. He isnt even full time. He rarely takes him like he is supposed to. In fact, for three months before he decided to take me to court for this, he hadnt taken our son at all in that time. He only started taking him like he was supposed to because he was taking me to court and I guess he figured he better show he was at least utilizing his time.

Its too bad grandparents cant get child support. LOL! My parents have watched my son more on my ex's weekends than he has.

oh he does get a paycheck and his child support is already coming out of that. Its automatic. He never even sees it. But somehow its NOT what was originally ordered. Its not much of a difference but its changed every time he has changed jobs.

 

[TinkerBelleLuvr]

It sounds like they are taking out the maximum percentage of the check because he doesn't net enough to NOT take out the maximum. I have an employee who I have to calculate 65% of his net every week and send it for child support. It is NOWHERE near what the court ordered, but he doesn't have an income to support the order either.

Now, the economy stinks down here right now. It is possible he might get a downwards movement if he can PROVE that his lower income is NOT due to his actions.

 

[maryjo]

It sounds like they are taking out the maximum percentage of the check because he doesn't net enough to NOT take out the maximum. I have an employee who I have to calculate 65% of his net every week and send it for child support. It is NOWHERE near what the court ordered, but he doesn't have an income to support the order either.

Now, the economy stinks down here right now. It is possible he might get a downwards movement if he can PROVE that his lower income is NOT due to his actions.

Well there are a few things in play here.

He quit a GOOD job making 15 dollars and hour and tons of overtime to move away with his girlfriend.

He cant keep a job, never could. He has had about 16 jobs in the last 14 years and that included a 4 year stint in the Marines. So yeah, no one wants to hire him.

If the judge lowers the child support thats fine. No problem. My whole thing was I wasnt going to do it just because my ex demanded it. It might have been petty but I was done letting him control me and bully me into things. However, it did buy me and our son almost another year of child support at the original order. During all this time he should have gotten another job or a better job but he wouldnt do it. Would have saved him a lot of money in lawyer and court fees.

I DO care about meeting halfway. I only did it all that time because I thought I HAD to. Then I found out I didnt because it wasnt court ordered and HE moved away. So I quit doing it. In doing so he is always either late picking up or dropping off. He does this on purpose. His girlfriend wont come here alone and I have no idea why. I have never done anything to her and have rarely spoken to her. In fact, the last time I spoke to her directly was a year ago when she called me to cry on my shoulder when they broke up.

Besides the back child support there is also a 1500 dollar credit card bill he owes me half of that he has never paid a dime on.

And of course, his lawyer wants ME to pay for his court and lawyer fees.

 

[maryjo]

https://forum.freeadvice.com/domest...hould-concerned-about-484557.html#post2360569

Well...this experience has taken a decidedly downward spiral.

 

[maryjo]

Can someone help me with this? I am lost.

When I was at court the judge asked if I had responded to the form I got my from ex's lawyer. Basically if I had responded to the demands he was making. I didnt know I had to do that and I told him no, I hadnt done it.

So he first told me to make a copy of the papers I was sent and then write out beside each thing my rebuttal to it and submitting it to the clerk's office. Then he said something about getting online and doing it. Afterwards someone (I think it was my ex's lawyer) spoke to one of the ladies outside (not sure if she was a secretary or something more official) and told them what I needed and they gave me a copy of a paper talking about Family Forms.

I followed the link and this is where it got me:

Court Programs

Can someone please look at this and tell me which of these I am supposed to fill out? And also, is this what the judge was talking about?

I dont see anything that looks like it pertains to me. My ex is asking for the child support to be lowered, for me to be ordered to meet him half way to where HE moved to, and for me to pay his lawyer and court fees. He filed for the modification. So, does anyone have any idea which of these forms I need to fill out??

I would REEEEAAAAALLLLLLYYYYYY appreciate any help you all could give me.


THANK YOU!!!!