Worried about losing child

[lostin47421]

What is the name of your state? Indiana

Hello there this is my first time to post on any forums such as this and its pretty much my last resourt...Ok lets start at the begining....Me and this yound lady started dating this time last year and she had a son from a previous marrage who i fell crazy for..me and him were the best of friends went to the park and everything just a really good bond. well the whole time we were together her ex husband was trying to start conflict about everything between me and her and me and his/her son.. well later on in our relationship there was a point in while i forced her to have intercourse with me. not a hold down or like that but a pressuring to have it kind of thing, i know this was wrong i see that now but the damage was done( i might add that her child slept in the same room as us since he was young in age in his own bed and woke up midway through what happened). well after that night we split up and a course of time went on and her and her ex husband started to get along better and they tried to get back together to work out their issues from before and somewhere along the line he was sent an email i had sent her and in it, it said something along the lines of "i raped the person i love" and honestly thats how i felt though that i did....but the issues between her ex and her never resolved and she told him she couldnt be with him cause he was never around and that she was still in love with me. we both want to be back together but we are scared to death that her ex husband will try to take her son away from her and he wouldnt do it for the childs well being but more for spite cause he knows what her child means to her....I dont want to be the cause of her losing her child thats why im asking here to maybe get some sort of legal stand point as if he could in fact take her child..there were no charges pressed or anything like that and nothing of this nature has ever happened before i am a great guy i just had 1 big screw up and neither of us can afford to go get real legal advice so any help would be much appreciated

 

[rmet4nzkx]

Advice?
Fnd a relationship with another woman, one without an ex or children, one that is free to and wants to have an intimate relationship with you. Otherwise you are on a rocky road to sadness and dispair.

 

[mrsbrown]

Legally though...is he a risk for her to date since the ex has that email?

 

[lostin47421]

Advice?
Fnd a relationship with another woman, one without an ex or children, one that is free to and wants to have an intimate relationship with you. Otherwise you are on a rocky road to sadness and dispair.

Thats not what i want, her child ment and means the world to me, even tho he wasnt legally mine i tried my best to be the man in his life and man to teach him things that a dad would do...just cause im not his legal dad doesnt mean i couldnt be as good or better and its not about intimate anymore while we were apart i saw alot of other things i was missing in my life and sex wasnt one of them

 

[rmet4nzkx]

Legally though...is he a risk for her to date since the ex has that email?

Of course!

 

[lostin47421]

Is there anything i can do to show that im not a risk to her child??im up for anything, i want to be with them again so bad anything i can do i will

 

[rmet4nzkx]

Is there anything i can do to show that im not a risk to her child??im up for anything, i want to be with them again so bad anything i can do i will

If you truely love them then don't have anything to do with them, this is only going to end in pain.

 

[stealth2]

How old is the kid?

 

[lostin47421]

If you truely love them then don't have anything to do with them, this is only going to end in pain.

Can you please explain??im not trying to be rude or anything like that sorry if i come off that way...what happened was the only issue me and her and her son had it was perfect other then what happened that one time, even she now admits it wasnt what it seemed at the time. all i want is those two. and he was 2 at the time but is 3 now

 

[LdiJ]

Can you please explain??im not trying to be rude or anything like that sorry if i come off that way...what happened was the only issue me and her and her son had it was perfect other then what happened that one time, even she now admits it wasnt what it seemed at the time. all i want is those two. and he was 2 at the time but is 3 now

If you try to get back together with her, the boys father will definitely use the issue against the mother. There is a probability that she could lose custody over the issue. I am sure that you don't want that to happen to her. I am sure that you want she and the boy to be together and to have a happy life. If nothing else, the father will use it to drag her and her character through the courts and the mud.

 

[lostin47421]

If you try to get back together with her, the boys father will definitely use the issue against the mother. There is a probability that she could lose custody over the issue. I am sure that you don't want that to happen to her. I am sure that you want she and the boy to be together and to have a happy life. If nothing else, the father will use it to drag her and her character through the courts and the mud.

You are indead correct, i dont want her to lose her child, she is one of very few young moms i know that care about their child the way she does about hers, she is a great mom no doubt about it,i just didnt know if i could go to counslers <------spelling or something like that to show that im tring to make the effort to show im not a risk i just dont want either one of us to be unhappy cause of her ex husband

 

[stealth2]

i just dont want either one of us to be unhappy cause of her ex husband

Actually, it won't be because of her exhusband. Both of you showed extremely poor judgement. Both in forcing her to have sex with you and in thinking that having sex in the same room as a 2yo was an okay thing to do. I'm sure this isn't the only time y'all had sex in the room while he was there - asleep or not. One has to wonder what other boneheaded things y'all have done.

 

[lostin47421]

he slept in the same room cause we lived in a trailer and if there was a fire in one of those it would spread really fast and at his young age we were both worried about him if there was a fire and 2l he was asleep for almost all of it the part he woke up on was when we started fighting about what happened, and we didnt have sex all the time either, very few times was he even there, most of the time was when he was at his dads for the night or his other visitation times, and i dont care for the bonehead remarks either, im just trying to do what i can to be back in those 2s life, and i wanted to know what i could do if anything to show the courts that im not a risk for him

 

[Kansas4me]

Go see a lawyer. You can usually have a consult for free.

The fact is email or not, he has to prove it happened. That means SHE has to say it. What you feel like happened, and what really happened maynot be 100% the same. You said you didn't force her, just pressured her. Legally that isnt' rape. She could have said NO.

You also said the child slept in the same room as us ever since he was little. So did you have sex before this? After this? if so odds are he is going to have a heck of a time proving it was really RAPE and not just you feeling guilty for putting pressure on her.

Heck if that is rape, then my husband is guilty as well. There have been times (more than one) that he puts on the puppy dog eyes, or guilt trips or whatever. It is a guy thing, and it doesn't seem she is to upset by it or she wouldn't be coming back.

AND before anyone jumps on me, this is coming from someone who was date raped!

 

[lostin47421]

So you are saying she would have to go into the courts and explain what happened and it would be up to them to decide if it was infact rape or not??and when she would say he never threated me or held me down the judge would rule in her favor???im not totally understanding and im sorry