Worried about losing child

[Zephyr]

i agree with the last post, in addition it is never NEVER ok to have sex with a child in the room, asleep or not.

 

[lostin47421]

I now know that, im not fighting that at all. i made mistakes in the past i see that now and now i just want to get back on track

 

[VeronicaGia]

I now know that, im not fighting that at all. i made mistakes in the past i see that now and now i just want to get back on track

There's something you need to keep in mind. She has a child with another man. This means that she and her ex will be involved with each other in some form or another for the rest of their lives. Are you sure you really want to deal with him for the rest of your life? It's a package deal. And what if she gets pregnant by you? Then you will also have no choice but to deal with her and her ex for the rest of your life! And what if she has a third child with a third man?

Look, sometimes we need to just walk away. So, just walk away. And stop putting things in writing when you don't want them shared with anyone else. Even the dumbest thing can be misconstrued.

 

[Kansas4me]

I am not sure what will happen. Judges are in control and no one can be 100% sure what kind of day they are having.

But if it is brought up and the judge decides to look at it as a factor in the case, than yes she might have to tell what happened. If she says he raped me, she could either be forced to have no more contact with you if she wants to keep her child or she can just loose him.

If she says no he didn't rape me, boyfriend would have to prove it happened and not just your guilty feelings.

What does she say. Does she say you raped her? What is her take of the whole incident.

 

[lostin47421]

I am not sure what will happen. Judges are in control and no one can be 100% sure what kind of day they are having.

But if it is brought up and the judge decides to look at it as a factor in the case, than yes she might have to tell what happened. If she says he raped me, she could either be forced to have no more contact with you if she wants to keep her child or she can just loose him.

If she says no he didn't rape me, boyfriend would have to prove it happened and not just your guilty feelings.

What does she say. Does she say you raped her? What is her take of the whole incident.

She said at the time it felt that way but it doesnt seem that way now and after i asked her just a little bit ago was it rape or was it more of me pressuring you and she said pressure. so even with that email which i know was dumb to write her ex cant use that against me??O and for the other person who responded, i know and understand she has a child with another man, i see that and realize that totally i knew that when i got with her that he would always have to be in her life for 1 reason and thats the child. im pretty confiedent <----spelling that if me and her get back together there wouldnt be a 3rd man, she has told me many of time if what had happened didnt we would still be together to this day, she even told her ex husband that

 

[Kansas4me]

He can TRY and use anything against both of you, but he will have to prove it to be true in a court of law. Rape is hard enough to prove with the woman saying it happened, I can't imagine it being proven if she denies it.

Like I said in the beginning talk to a legal aid person, free consulation. Sit down with them with the email so they see exactly what was said and with the girl so they can know exactly what is going on.

If you love her and she loves you enough to fight this hard for it, then you should be willing to pull together a little bit of money if the lawyer requires a small fee for advice.

Also,,,,,,,how did the boyfriend get the email?

 

[Silverplum]

What is the name of your state? Indiana
(snip)
Me and this yound lady started dating this time last year and she had a son from a previous marrage who i fell crazy for..me and him were the best of friends went to the park and everything just a really good bond. well the whole time we were together her ex husband was trying to start conflict about everything between me and her and me and his/her son.
(snip)
we are scared to death that her ex husband will try to take her son away from her and he wouldnt do it for the childs well being but more for spite cause he knows what her child means to her....I dont want to be the cause of her losing her child thats why im asking here to maybe get some sort of legal stand point as if he could in fact take her child.
(snip)

Here are some key points that I don't think you understand:

1. It's not HER child, it's not YOUR child. It's THEIR child. Quit with the "take her child" crap.

2. If the dad sues for custody, it's not a cuddle-fest. It's war. It's expensive and frustrating and upsetting as the 9th circle of hell, and no one does it purely for spite.

3. HAS it occurred to you that the dad might...ya know...LOVE his child? You write as if you are the only one who knows and loves the kid, and I am sure you are not..."went to the park," indeed.

 

[LdiJ]

Here are some key points that I don't think you understand:

1. It's not HER child, it's not YOUR child. It's THEIR child. Quit with the "take her child" crap.

2. If the dad sues for custody, it's not a cuddle-fest. It's war. It's expensive and frustrating and upsetting as the 9th circle of hell, and no one does it purely for spite.

3. HAS it occurred to you that the dad might...ya know...LOVE his child? You write as if you are the only one who knows and loves the kid, and I am sure you are not..."went to the park," indeed.

In addition, if the mother doesn't come to resent you for putting her through it, it would be a miracle. If she loses custody of her child neither one of you would be able to live with it.

 

[abstract99]

Are we talking presured her as in you got her drunk and then convinced her to have sex. It is a touchy subject then. Technically it could be rape or not.

 

[lostin47421]

no she wasnt drinking, at that time we neither one were of the legal age to drink not that we would even think of that due to the fact of her son around.......

 

[Silverplum]

no she wasnt drinking, at that time we neither one were of the legal age to drink not that we would even think of that due to the fact of her son around.......

Oh. My. Gosh.

You wouldn't think of drinking, but you'd absolutely have sex in front of him? And further, neither of you are of drinking age (21?), but she's already been married and divorced, and has a kid.

This is an impressive situation all around, isn't it?

 

[Kansas4me]

Don't feel bad. NO ONE is perfect. I do not drink even though I am well above age, but when my son was young we had sex while he was in his crib in our room and he woke up more than once.

(now that assumes when you say the kid woke up we aren't talking about a 4 year old or older child right?)

 

[lostin47421]

Silverplum if you dont have anything helpfull to add would you please do me a favor and not post, thank you. and Kansas4me thank you for your kind words and approch <spelling and no at the time he was 2 years old....and i feel drink around a child is worse in my eyes

 

[Silverplum]

Silverplum if you dont have anything helpfull to add would you please do me a favor and not post, thank you. and Kansas4me thank you for your kind words and approch <spelling and no at the time he was 2 years old....and i feel drink around a child is worse in my eyes

Sure, dude. I'll leave you alone. I'll just go take some random child to the park and magically turn him into my very own child while we're there. Yeah...that oughta keep me busy till you're gone.

 

[lostin47421]

i was using the park as an example, im not saying thats all i did. geeez....and for his father ha ha if you only knew the guy, has time for his son when its convent for him and friends that were friends of both of them when they got marry said in 2 months i did more for that lil boy then he had in 2 years.....im sorry i hate to say it but laying an egg doesnt make you a father......... legally maybe but in my eyes it doesnt......