would like to relocate

[rodeoflower]

track everything

Did you mention that she doesn't have running water? In my state, social service folks came in and removed several children from a woman because she no longer had running water when the well went dry. She was low income and couldn't afford the thousands for laying pipes to get connected to the county. Charity paid for that to happen and the children were returned but if she doesn't have running water it could be a bigger factor than it seems. Its a hygene thing. Keep a long of any unusual behavior or comments and visits. a long "diary of events" has helped in several court battles my brother had in a similar situation. It is very tough to move children away from the NCP if they won't agree to the move. IF you feel the children are at risk, its not enough. My ex let his first kid play with prunning sheers and she cut her finger tip off. on one visit with my daughter he let her play with a 12 inch mag flashlight that she dropped on her foot. He didn't take her to the doctor and brought her home with a foot black and purple and two sizes bigger than it should be (she was barely two years old) I rushed her to the dr and was then sent to children's hospital where they decided that because of the location of the fracture there wasn't much they could do without surgery (surgery!) Because it was on a growth line it held some concern but under the dr's advice since it was her pinky toe it wasn't worth the trauma she would experience. I opted against surgery. I kept that information and other incidents and had it ready to prove that he was neglegent. Its stuff like that, which can be documented by medical records or outside sources that carry the best weight.
Definitely request the court appoint GAL They will go in to both homes and determine who can provide a better and more stable environment for the child. The judge typically bases their decision heavily on the GALs report. Good luck to you and be prepared!

 

[lquid_user]

thanks rodeoflower

I've kept a detailed log of all contact she and the kids have had and the conditions under which they live etc. and the thing that bothers me is that her problem solving technique for emergencies has been and still is to call me to ask what to do. that's how she handled my ddaughter falling and cutting her head. I have recently requested the emergency room log to see if a nurse maybe suspected any abuse or neglect or red puffy pothead eyes. it seems to me that I am right on with this stuff but my attorney isn't suggesting these things. I am doing all this footwork on my own. I'm sure I don't want to pay the atty to do it anyway but if she could help direct me where to look it would be nice.
thank you
lquid

 

[rodeoflower]

more tips

If you can, get photos. You need hard evidence.

Its hard for a father to get custody let alone move out of state. My brother fought for custody and won and made a local move. He was forced to prove she had been driving without a license by finding her location, then reporting the time she would be there and the license plate of the vehicle to the local police. Depending on if your in a big city or small town, depends on the willingness of the police. For him it worked. Any accidents that require medical, get records, get affidavits from neighbors if they can attest to visitors at all hours etc.Anyone who has been witness to specific things can write an affidavit to file with the case. It is all relevant.

From my family's experience, unless you have a top attorney, you are only going to get half the effort. When it comes to attorneys, you really do get what you pay for. I had a cheap attorney who didn't do anything at all. My brother had a top criminial attorney who agreed to take his case due to the trauma my neice suffered at the hands of her mothers lifestyle. She went after everything with a fine tooth comb. In the end it was all about what could be proven. My neice had been in counseling since temp custody had been granted to my brother (she was six or seven). The counselors testimony was very important. They used one that was regarded well in the courthouse. Be sure when you go in to court you are dressed well, clean, and well groomed. Speak quietly but firmly. Remember your yes sir/no sir. Avoid slang words, and avoid saying anything bad about the mother if you don't have any proof. If you can't back it, keep it to yourself. The goal is to show you are stable and respectable. Don't argue, don't talk back, and definitely don't interupt. Common sense stuff

Hope that helps a little. Good luck

 

[lquid_user]

thanks again,

do you think it is wise to change attorneys mid case?? I think mine is competent but she doesn't seem terribly motivated. of course this is much more important to me than anyone else. I just have so little experience with the legal system that I wouldn't know a good attorney if she hit me. I do sense a definite style difference though between mine and hers. my attorney definitely does nicer paperwork , no contraadictions in the affadavits and no slanderous stuff. also she doesn't see the need trade statements about every little annoyance. the ex's attorney contacts mine at least weekly with ridiculous complaints. for example the ex was late picking up the kids and they say I denied her parenting time because an hour and a half later i was busy interviewing a daycare provider and told her she had to wait for me to finish before I could drop off the kids. SHE was an hour and a half late. I simply continued with my scheduled apppointment. my attorney said just not to worry about it, that we are taking the high road. I guess I just have to trust her. but a part of me wants a mean attorney who is out for blood. I guess thats just my man-ness showing through. really I do like my current lawyer. she listens well and is calm about everything, what else do I need?

thanks for the advice
lquid