Would this be fair?

[LdiJ]

In some places that COULD happen. I don't know what the local visitation plan is for where the OP is. But in Ohio it is possible for a parent to get EVERY weekend (or an overnight every weekend). Look at Wayne County's standard visitation plan for toddlers for instance.

There is a short period of time in the phases in the ITPG too where the ncp could get one overnight every weekend as well, but its a short period and it ends once every other weekend starts...but it is ONE overnight, not two.

 

[mommyanme]

Previous posts displeased me and others, but THESE posts PLEASE me!

Go forth, mommyanme, and coparent like I know you can and are. I, for one, am very proud of you and your growth and your focus.


and


I note a distinct tendency toward fairness and consideration of what's best for baby. Also, a willingness on Mom's part to learn how to coparent: most excellent!

I'm trying hard. True it is very very hard considering the past, but I have to keep remembering the past isn't our baby's problem or worth him ending up screwed up in the head.

I went to the site proudtoparent.com and did their co-parenting "class" it was really sad to hear the girls they interviewed and I don't ever want the our son to feel that way. Also, I've been reading a book and it includes co-parenting with someone difficult, but was a reminder that it takes 2 to fight and even one of us acting like an adult and thinking of our child will make all the difference to our son. I'm going to try to keep this out of court because the quicker it's settled the quicker we can all move on.

At this point he is very angry over what was ordered for child support, so I'm going to just let him cool off for a bit before presenting him with this, or I may just deal with his attorney first. I also wanted to include in there that we both take co-parenting classes. Does that usually happen? If not, I'll just take them.

 

[stealth2]

So - why did OP delete her original post in this thread? Not very helpful for those of us who came late to the game.

 

[InfantCustody]

So - why did OP delete her original post in this thread? Not very helpful for those of us who came late to the game.

Here is the text of the original thread:

Originally Posted by mommyanme
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? NC

Considering the circumstances I took the advice I was given. Since Dad did chose not to take my offer and remained out of baby's life till now I felt baby needed time to bond and get to know dad so here's what I intend to offer now instead of what I offered long before baby was born.

1. Mon, Wed and Fri for 2 hours each day, at first here at my home so baby feels safe with a stranger, then working up to Dad having baby each time to take to park, McDonalds whatever he wants. While at my home I will not interfere unless Dad asks, otherwise I will clean or whatever.

2 After several months, Adding 4-6 hours on a Saturday or Sunday.

3. Around 16-18 months extending the Saturday or Sunday to either all day or 1 overnight(? Depends on baby's adjustment?)

4. After awhile not sure how long though, Dad spends the same Mon Wed and Fri but now 3 hours and 1 weekend per month starting on Saturday because of dad's work schedule.

5. Once baby starts school then we have to change it and I thought every weekend would be fair and suggest Dad go eat lunch with him a couple times a week at school.

So how does this seem from neutral sides as a rough draft?

Dad is addiment about Joint Legal so I will agree, but I will remain primary, since baby's doctors, early intervention therapy and such are here. But I know that it will be a hassle because he has to say opposite of what I do, but I know I can bite my tongue and show our son one of us can keep from fighting or starting a fight.

BTW I apologize for my defensive mode last post, but I have been in that mode over this since last spring and I had to realize when to just stop.

Oh yes Dad and his lawyer want to "negotiate(sp) CS and arrears, so they got the order entered as temporary since a custody action was filed by dad.

 

[mommyanme]

Here is what I sent dad's attorney to be worked up to by 1 year old (so 6 months of graduating)And taking advantage of our states virtual visitation laws when Dad does not have baby. This way he can read him a story or whatever over the computer.

Dad gets child every other weekend from Saturday 11:00 am to Monday 11:00 Dad must drive child to school once it starts. On weeks that Dad does not have child for the weekend then 2 days during the week from 8am til 1pm.

Dad gets 2 weeks uninterupted vacation time with the child

Holidays split equally, example, odd years dad gets baby Christmas Day/ Mom Christmas eve, even years it's reversed.

No Corporal or physical punishment from Mom or Dad and Third parties

Joint Legal Custody-Mom Primary

Neither parent can take baby out of state or country without permission

During vacation times if leaving home both parents have to notify other of addresses, location and phone number

Parents share transportation responsibilities for visits

No one of the opposite sex can stay over night

No taking baby around new dating relationship for at least 3 months

No smoking drugs or alcohol around baby, smoking must be done outside of home and car

No negative comments from either parent, friends and family about the other in front of child or within hearing distance

No using child as messenger

No interference of visits by other parent

 

[mommyanme]

Oh and I also offered to forgive his CS arrears.

 

[SESmama]

I don't know that I would have forgiven the arrears since that is due to the support of the child.

 

[mommyanme]

I don't know that I would have forgiven the arrears since that is due to the support of the child.

I know, I'm trying to sooth his soul to get the ball rolling for an agreement, and I know talking money will get him listening, especially since the amount owed is about the same as the retainer that would be paid.

I made up for it when he wasn't helping and baby didn't hurt for his needs so if it will help get an agreement and us moving on, I'll swallow it and move forward.

 

[mommyanme]

I hope everyone understands this was just a rough draft for us to work off of.
I told his attorney that if he wants to make special plans one day and I have him, Dad is more than welcome to give me advance notice and we work with it.

I also told her that since baby is in early intervention therapy(he could not move his left side at one point) that dad needed to be here for one of his sessins and learn what I have on how to work with him.

 

[ecmst12]

I would drop any language where you are trying to control his love life.

 

[mommyanme]

I would drop any language where you are trying to control his love life.

Actually he added those

This was a plan I tried to work out with him last spring, he wanted it to be 3 years! I personally don't like it cause you're right it's control on personal life.